Glossary The following is a dictionary of MIT words, phrases, and acronyms. Terms commonly identified by either acronyms or names are listed here by acronym. Alphabetically, acronyms are listed as words. A useful resource, if you should come across an acronym not listed here, is the ‘whats’ database on Athena; type add sipb ; whats for expansions of a huge collection. MIT also keeps a somewhat up-to-date internal acronym list on the web. Admin — Administrator. Someone hired to fix things that aren’t broken. The fastest-growing ethnic group on campus. AI — Artificial Intelligence. All Tech Sing — An annual event that used to be held every spring during Spring Weekend (archaic). alum — n. (1) Short for alumnus or alumna. (2) A potassium aluminum sulfate or an ammonium aluminum sulfate, used especially as an emetic and as an astringent and styptic. Alumni Association President’s Court — A nice place to sit, if you can find it. anal — Uptight, obsessive-compulsive. ARC — Academic Resource Center. Administers orientation, UROP, and anything else vaguely academic that doesn’t fall under a specific department. ASA — Association of Student Activities. Coordinating body for student activities, clubs, etc. Handles things often covered by administrators at other schools, such as office and bulletin board allocation. armadillo — A small set of drawers common to a select few dorms.(archaic) Athena — The MIT computing environment. People who complain that it is too complex are often millennials (q.v.). back in the day — (1) A very long time ago, archaic. (2) An indeterminate time ago, usually equal to the time since the speaker was a freshman, when things were much more hardcore (q.v.). Barton — MIT Libraries online catalog. Bathroom — Arts and Media Technology Building (E15, The Media Lab). Also known as the “Pei Toilet” (after architect I. M. Pei). bazorg — The nickname of the “extra extra large” 20 oz. coffees sold at the 24-hour Coffeehouse before its closure. Regarded by purists as a heresy, as traditionally the largest item in the hierarchy was named blooter (q.v.). BCS — Brain and Cognitive Sciences (Course IX). Beast from the East — Resident of Second East, East Campus. beaver — The MIT mascot, engineer of the animal kingdom. Big Dome — See Great Dome. Big Sail — The official name of the steel sculpture by Alexander Calder south of the Green Building, one of the few art pieces on campus that is also functional. Starting place of the annual spontaneous Tuition Riot (q.v.). Usually called the Great Sail. Big Sail, Working Model — A preliminary scaled-down version of the Big Sail. Used to reside on Mass. Ave. in front of Building 9, until they found out it was worth something and moved it to the Media Lab atrium. Often called the Little Sail. Big Screw — A 4’, solid aluminum, left-handed thread, wood screw presented by APO during Spring Weekend to the faculty or staff member voted most deserving. blood on concrete — Irreverent nickname for MIT’s cardinal red and steel gray school colors. blooter — (1) adj. Any person or object of unbelievably large size, e.g., “That’s a blooter corn muffin you have there.” (2) n. The nickname of the 16 oz. “extra large” coffees sold at the 24-hour Coffeehouse prior to its forced shutdown. blow off — v. (1) To flush (q.v.). (2) To punt (q.v.). Bomber — Resident of Burton Third. Brass Rat — Ugly hunk of gold some MIT students and alums wear on a finger. Bridge Circuit — n. (1) A running course along the Charles River which includes the BU, Harvard, and/or Longfellow Bridges. Not to be confused with a circuit bridge. (2) A series of card contests where people play rubbers. Bronze Bunny — Sculpture in Lowell Court (building 1), also called the “Bunny Shrine”. Officially named “Three Piece Reclining Figure, Draped.” Bruno — A unit of volume resulting from a piano falling six stories onto Amherst Alley from the roof of Baker House. BSO — Boston Symphony Orchestra. BSU — Black Students Union. bummer — Post-choke or post-screw description of said choke or screw; in general, something not good. bug — n. (1) A natural or introduced flaw, often the cause of a crash (q.v.). (2) One of our cherished friends inhabiting MIT dorms, who does not pay tuition, nor, more relevantly, rent. busted — pp. (1) Arrested. (2) Broken. by definition — av. (1) Clearly, obviously. (2) Necessarily. (3) “I can’t remember why.” Cambridge Tool & Die — Local nerd shop; not to be confused with Tool & Die, which the MIT humor magazine Voo Doo was named for a few years, back in the day. Camp Cambridge — MIT. CAES — Center for Advanced Educational Services. CAP — Committee on Academic Performance. (2) v. To place on academic probation; e.g. “I got capped because I spent too much time punting.” caveat emptor — Let the buyer beware. CAVS — Center for Advanced Visual Studies (N52-390). CGSP — Committee on Graduate School Policy. Chancellor — Administration bigwig position, currently held by Phillip L. Clay. Responsible for “overseeing” all student life, undergraduate and graduate education, and research policy. chaus — Nickname of the former 24-hour student-run Coffeehouse on the 3rd floor of the Student Center. Still used as a meeting place. cheese graters — Nickname of the ridiculous metal booths in Lobby 7 that replaced the low-key, “messy” functionality of drop posters and publications shelves with the lofty architectural form of giant, obstructive kitchen implements. ChemE — [pronounced kem-ee] Chemical Engineering (Course X). Cheney Room — Margaret Cheney Room (3-310), for women students only. Chocolate City — Top three floors of New House 1. choke — v. To snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. CivE — [pronounced siv-ee] Civil Engineering (Course I). clue — n. The technical knowledge needed to carry out a task, or useful knowledge in general. A prerequisite for pants (q.v.). cluster — A room of public access Athena terminals. clusterbate — Access privates in a room of Athena terminals. CMI — Cambridge-MIT Institute. CMS — Comparative Media Studies. COC — Committee on Curricula. COD — Committee on Discipline. Compton Lecture Hall — Room 26-100. Concourse — An experimental freshman program. Prof. Rose (x3-3230) has more information. Coop — Co-operative store. Located in Kendall Square, Harvard Square, and other locations. The main source of MIT-logo merchandise. Course — n. (1) Department major. (2) Subject (e.g., 5.11). Note: the Registrar’s Office has declared (2) an invalid definition. CP — Campus Police. crash — v. (1) To sleep in a place where one does not pay rent, such as a friend’s apartment. (2) To join a party without being invited. (3) To cease functioning, as in a computer system. crock — n. (1) Something that has been botched, e.g., “What a crock.” (2) Bucket, e.g., “This is a crock of shit.” (3) The comic rock opera performed at TEP during Rush. crunch — (1) n. What happens at the end of the term. (2) v. To process mindlessly, as in “number crunch”. cruft — Old equipment; junk. Being able to take cruft and make it work again, or do something new and useful, is a badge of honor. (2) See crust. crust — An old person, particularly an alum; often stated explicitly, as in “crusty alum”. Crust can be notorious for trying to hit on (q.v.) frosh (q.v.). CSAIL — (1) Computer Science and Artificial Intelligence Laboratory. Formerly two separate labs, the MIT AI Laboratory and the Laboratory for Computer Science (LCS) were combined in July 2003. (2) Transaction of C shells by the cshore. CSR — Center for Space Research (building 37). CSS — Counseling and Support Services. Also known as the “Counseling Deans”. CUP — Committee on the Undergraduate Program. DAPER — Department of Athletics, Physical Education and Recreation. Dean — Occupier of administrative supervisory position. See Admin. defrosh — v. To temper enough of one’s irritating characteristics with the acquisition of clue (q.v.). Usually occurs some time during freshman year, but extreme cases may be delayed into graduate school and beyond. Deke — Delta Kappa Epsilon fraternity. dl — See Dormline. D-Labs — See Draper. dope — n. (1) Marijuana, rarely other drugs. (2) Trace impurity added to pure substance to alter properties. (3) adj. Outdated popular parlance equivalent to “cool” or “rad”. (4) Moron (archaic). DormCon — Dormitory Council, the coordination and governing body of the MIT dormitories. Compare IFC, Panhel, LGC Dormline — Old MIT dormitory telephone system. (Also dl). Now replaced by 5ess. “This is MIT. Collect and third-number calls will not be accepted at this number.” Dot — The circle of grass between the Green Building and the Big Sail. A popular place to eat lunch, play frisbee or hold Oddball Olympics. Officially named McDermott Court. Double-E — See EE. down — adj. (1) Feeling depressed, said of a person. (2) Non-working, gronked (q.v.), said of a computer. Draper — Formerly Instrumentation Labs. Works on inertial guidance systems, radar, etc. Divested by MIT due to student protest two decades ago. Hires many MIT students. drop — (1) v. To de-register for a subject during a term. (2) n. Network access point. (3) n. Type of sodium experiment performed by Third East. Drunkle — Runkle, Senior Haus (back in the day). DSL — (1) Dean for Student Life (4-110, x3-4052). (2) Digital Subscriber Line; alums often use this to get Internet when they can’t suck the Institute’s digital teat anymore. DUE — Dean for Undergraduate Education (4-110, 3-6056). DUSP — [pronounced dusp] Department of Urban Studies and Planning (Course XI). dweeb — n. Similar to nerd (q.v.), but more disparaging. DYA — Domestic Year Away. EAPS — [pronounced eeps] Earth, Atmospheric and Planetary Sciences (Course XII). EE — Electrical Engineering (Course VI-1). EECS — [pronounced eeks] Electrical Engineering and Computer Science (Course VI). EIT — [rhymes with fight] (1) The Engineer in Training exam, given each year to students en route to becoming professional engineers. (2) An exclamation which originated at TEP, used when someone is unfairly destroyed. Can be used as virtually any part of speech, e.g., “I got eited on my 18.03 test.” elephant — A large piece of furniture resembling a wardrobe; common to a few dorms. (archaic) emeritus — Retired from regular service with honor. See professor. -er joke — A set of jokes common on campus, e.g., “Fiddler on the Roof? But I just met her!” ESG — Experimental Study Group. An alternative freshman program located at 24-612. Associate Director Holly Sweet (x3-7786) has more information. ESP — Educational Studies Program. Runs HSSP (q.v.). FAC — Friday Afternoon Club. FADC — Friday Afternoon Drinking Club. Synonymous with FAC. feed the tree — Shed blood on the Senior Haus tire swing. The tree (a.k.a. The Angry God) is not pleased until it has drunk from you. Fiji — Phi Gamma Delta. Dissolved at MIT after the death of Scott Krueger. FinBoard — Finance Board. The undergraduate body charged with proposing and administering the Undergraduate Association budget and funding student activities. First-year — A freshman, at Wellesley. Fishbowl — A former Project Athena workstation cluster located off the Infinite Corridor in building 11, where the Student Services Center now resides. Some claim that the building 12 cluster is a recreation. 5ess — MIT’s phone system (c. 1988). Now short for 5ess-2000. 5 O’Clock Club — Daily event at which the commuter students used to hang out in the basement of Walker after classes, way back in the day. flushed — (1) pp. Turned down or out. Disappointed in some endeavor, usually involved with selling oneself. Examples: “I got flushed at the mixer,” “I just got flushed by [fill in fraternity name here]”. (2) adj. Having a reddish hue on one’s face from heat, exertion, or embarrassment. Example: “I got flushed at the mixer.” (3) pp. Disposed of. When said of a person, this connotes dismissal or expulsion. Example: “I got flushed at the mixer.” flame — (1) n. A savage castigation of someone in a public forum, usually e-mail or usenet. Usually written with the intention of amusing or outraging uninvolved readers. (2) v. To write the aforementioned devastating attack. Certain mailing lists exist specifically for this purpose. (3) v. To speak obnoxiously and/or at great length. Flammschmeisser — A gas-fired device used for spreading burning iron particles when creating a hoax crop circle. FPC — Faculty Policy Committee. frappe — In New England, a snack made up of milk, syrup, and ice cream. Called a “milkshake” in the English-speaking world. Fred — East Campus. Ask a resident for the story. frosh — n. (1) Freshman. (2) Freshmen. FSILG — Fraternity, Sorority or Independent Living Group. Fuck Truck — The Wellesley Senate Bus. funnelator — Home-made catapult device for launching water balloons, eggs, rotting turkey carcasses etc. So named because the simplest example consists of two lengths of surgical tubing connected to a funnel which holds the projectiles. See also mariah. furry fish — Cat; references the general rule that fish were the only pets officially permitted in dorms, except for the ones that require them for rodent control. fuxxor — (1) n. A meddling or incompetent fool. Frequently written in leetspeak for added effect. (2) v. To shaft something such that it becomes gronked. (3) int. Expression of frustration or disappointment, e.g. “My fuxxor of a 6.270 partner just fuxxored our robot! Fuxxor!” G — Graduate student. GAMIT — Gays, Lesbians, Bisexuals and Transgenders at MIT (unrelated to this book). geek — A nerd in Course VI. (Q: What’s the difference between a geek and a nerd? A: A geek has double-E.) generate — To create; to come up with. ghost — (1) n. A dorm resident who lives unseen by neighboring students, often deliberately. (2) v. To sublet a room from its official occupant. GIR — General Institute Requirement. A class that all undergraduates must pass in order to get their degree. glitch — A bug; cause of sporadic gronkedness (q.v.). GPA — Grade Point Average. MIT’s is out of 5.0, as opposed to most places which grade on the 4.0 scale. Harvard’s answer to this is grade inflation. grease — (1) Indicator of one’s clout within the governing body of an organization (2) v. to use such clout, especially in the room assignment process Great Dome — The dome on top of building 10. Bigger (and harder to get to) than the Little Dome. Great Sail — See Big Sail. Green Line — n. (1) One of Boston’s four subway lines. (2) Former access method to the roof of the Green Building. gritch — (1) v. To complain. (2) n. Complaint. Not to be confused with glitch, which is sometimes the cause of a gritch. Grogo — Mascot of Technique, the MIT yearbook. A big gorilla. gronked — Kaput, non-functioning. GRT — Graduate Resident Tutor. grunge — To throw away, especially an item in a public space. “The Grunge Crew grunged my shopping cart!” Grunge Crew — People hired to clear hallways and clean empty rooms in dorms, especially prevalent just after Spring term. grungy — adj. (1) Grubby and dingy. What you feel like after studying for 20 hours straight in 85 degree heat. (2) The opposite of elegant; long, boring, complicated, painful, but often necessary. “This 18.03 problem set is disgustingly grungy.” Grungy work is often called “grungework”. GSC — Graduate Student Council. The governing body for graduate students as a group (50-110, x3-2195). hack — (1) n. A trick or prank. For example, having a balloon pop up out of the field in the middle of the Hahvahd-Yale football game or getting elected UAP are fine hacks. (2) n. An inelegant shortcut to get something done quickly, for example in a computer program. (3) v. To use or operate something in a manner outside its design or published documentation; see kludge. (4) v. To explore ordinarily inaccessible or unknown places; equivalent to “go hacking”. (5) v. To apply oneself with utmost dedication in order to understand or become proficient in something. Example: a computer hacker. Also connotes fanaticism. hacker — n. (1) One who hacks. (2) One who pulls hacks. (3) One who goes hacking. Hacker Heaven — A summer program at LCS, archaic. Hahvahd — The big red-brick school, both Up The Street and Up Chuck River; little liberal arts school. Hahvahd Bridge — The Mass. Ave. bridge from MIT to Boston, which measures 364.4 Smoots + 1 ear in length. hand-wave — v. To attempt to explain something one doesn’t actually understand or that doesn’t make any actual sense, or to gloss over a question for which one wasn’t prepared. Sometimes performed by professors when taken by surprise. hardcore — adj. (1) A state of extreme desirability; an indicator that a situation or thing is superior to normal. Example: “A hardcore week of hacking.” (2) An extreme dedication to a cause, often characterised by the willful disregard of personal hardship or risk. Example: “A week of hardcore hacking.” (3) Generally extreme or excessive. Example: “That week of hacking was hardcore.” HASS — Humanities, Arts and Social Sciences. Undergraduates need some of these classes in order to graduate. HASS-D — Humanities, Arts and Social Sciences Distribution. Undergraduates need some of these classes in order to graduate also. Not the same as regular HASS (q.v.). haxxor — (1) n. Derogatory term for self-conscious hackers who go to great lengths to ensure that you notice that they carry a multitool and wear all black. (2) v. To hack something in a trivial or inept fashion. Hell — n. (1) MIT. (2) The underground steam tunnel from Vassar Street towards building 13. hit on — v. Attempt to seduce; flirt with. Principal activity of many upperclassmen during the month of September. In more sketchy instances, the term slime is used. HNC — Area of Senior Haus corresponding to the Holman, Nichols and Crafts entries back in the day. hosed — adj. (1) Bogged down with work, when referring to a person. (2) Bogged down with packets, when referring to the network. HowToGAMIT — The abbreviated, conversational name for this book. Not to be confused with GAMIT (q.v.). HSSP — High School Studies Program, in which MIT students design and teach their own courses to high school students. Run by ESP (q.v.). Hub — (1) Boston. (2) Something you shouldn’t plug in to MITnet. Huntington Hall — Room 10-250. IAP — Independent Activities Period. The month of January at MIT, and the most fun time to be on campus. IFC — Interfraternity Council. The central coordinating and governing body of the FSILGs (q.v.). Counterpart to DormCon (q.v.). IHTFP — (1) I Hate This Fucking Place. (2) I Have Truly Found Paradise. (3) It’s Hard To Fondle Penguins. (4) I Help Tutor Freshman Physics. (5) I Have To Forever Pay. (See TDM.) Infinite Corridor — A quarter-mile hallway through the heart of the Institute. At one time the longest continuous straight corridor in the world. infinitely — Exceedingly, really, quite, e.g., “infinitely screwed up.” The Institute — Affectionate name for MIT. See Hell. Institute Professor — A prestigious honor conferred on particularly outstanding professors (q.v.). instructor — n. (1) Person who stands in front of students and lets fall pearls of wisdom. (2) Academic rank in the lower echelons of the junior faculty. Interphase — An intensive summer academic program for minorities, designed to ease the transition from high school to MIT. intuitively obvious — adj. (1) Too simpleminded to deserve explanation. (2) More often, too abstruse to explain, if the speaker even understands it at all. I/S — MIT Information Systems. Among other things, the people who run Athena. Now officially known as IS&T. IS&T — Information Services & Technology. The newer, more corporate sounding and less efficient way to refer to I/S. See PhysPlant. “Is this the way to Baker House?” — Classic line said by a freshman to a Campus Police officer when caught in the steam tunnels. Jack Florey — n. (1) Mythical resident of Fifth East, East Campus. (2) A hacking group associated with Fifth East. James E Tetazoo — n. (1) Mythical resident of Third East, East Campus. (2) A hacking group associated with Third East. J Arthur Random — Mythical resident of Random Hall. jock — n. (1) An athletic supporter. (2) An athletic supporter. (3) Anyone who does a lot of something. JudComm — Judicial Committee, a generic term signifying a group of students charged with enforcing student laws. Usually attached to a living group. JYA — Junior Year Abroad. k — One thousand (of anything). Killian Court — The large courtyard in the middle of main campus, surrounded by buildings 1-4, building 10, and Memorial Drive. Called the Great Court until it was named for former MIT President Killian after his retirement. Kiss of Death Award — The Baker Award, given to professors who teach well. A surprisingly high percentage of Baker Award recipients are subsequently denied tenure. Damned shame, too. kludge — [rhymes with stooge] n. (1) A Rube Goldberg-style device which appears unlikely to work but does anyhow. (2) A method by which something is effectively but inelegantly made to perform a function for which it was not designed. (3) Something complex that doesn’t work, e.g., this definition. Kresge — The hump between the Oval and the athletic field. Used for lectures, theatre, movies, concerts, conferences, and — less frequently — skiing. Krotus — Malevolent deity of Fifth East, East Campus. Lambchops — Lambda Chi Alpha fraternity. LCS — Laboratory for Computer Science. Now part of CSAIL (q.v.). (2) A student group for the study and appreceation of chocolate. lecturer — n. (1) One who lectures. (2) Low, low academic rank. leetspeak — The practice of replacing typed alphabetic letters with alternate characters that more or less visually resemble said letters, originally advocated by haxxors who considered themselves “elite”. \Many variants exist but are now almost always used to convey derisive or satiric intent. Little Dome — The dome on top of building 7. Smaller than the Great Dome, but easier to see from Mass. Ave. Little Sail — See Big Sail, Working Model. living group — The place where you live (may not apply for some people found in the Student Center). L-Lab — Lincoln Laboratory, a special MIT-affiliated laboratory located in Lexington. Its specialties include optics, radio physics, data systems, radar, and re-entry systems. loser — One who bans flags. LSC — Lecture Series Committee. A student organization that puts on movies, lectures, and other entertainment for the MIT community. mariah — A long piece of laboratory rubber tubing filled with water; useful in waterfights. Also spelled “moriah.” MBA — Master of Business Administration. A degree pursued by many Sloanies (q.v.). MBTA — Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority. Operates the Boston area mass transit during the day, well, not too horribly. Known as the “T”. MechE — [pronounced mek-ee] Mechanical Engineering (Course II). MEng — [pronounced emm-enj] Masters in Engineering. MGH — Massachusetts General Hospital. milkshake — Snack made with milk and syrup, but no ice cream. If you want a “milkshake,” order a frappe (q.v.). millennial — Derogatory term for resume-padding, cookie-cutter students who exhibit the desire to be spoon-fed their choices by authority figures. The stereotype emphasizes blandness and lack of idiosyncrasy. This term entered the MIT lexicon through an infamous article penned by Dean of Admissions Marilee Jones in the faculty newsletter. MIT Community — n. (1) Nearly 20,000 students, faculty, researchers, staff, and employees at MIT. Sometimes used more expansively to include their families and also alumni. (2) An indefinable, probably mythical item invented by Admins (q.v.) to justify the implementation of various private projects and testing of politically-inspired social theories. MITERS — MIT Electronic Research Society. MITFCU — MIT Federal Credit Union. Not pronounced “MIT-fuck-you” despite possible temptation, as the Credit Union is actually very cool. MITnet — The Institute’s campus computing network. MITOC — MIT Outing Club. MITSFS — MIT Science Fiction Society. Pronounced “mittsfiss” or “mitt-siffs,” but never “misfits.” MITV — MITelevision. moat — The wet thing wrapped around the Chapel. A good place to throw obnoxious people. MOF — Most Obnoxious Freshman. Awarded at Senior Haus during Steer Roast (q.v.). MRS — Model Rocket Society. MTG — Musical Theatre Guild. mumble — n. A verbal expression used to replace actual mumbling. munge — v. To mangle, mutilate, or mess up badly. Mystery Hunt — The famous annual weekend-long puzzle competition held during IAP (q.v.). n — A random number with various connotations. There are n ways to beat (or get screwed by) the system. nerd — [pronounced gnurd] n. (1) Someone with a high level of expertise in an esoteric, usually technical field. A badge of honor at the Institute, e.g., “Nerd pride”. (2) Someone who studies too much. See tool. NGL — Nobody Gets Laid. nonoptimal — adj. (1) In need of improvement. (2) Horribly bad. nontrivial — (1) Very difficult. (2) Impossible. (See trivial.) nuke — (1) n. Nuclear power plant. (2) n. Nuclear weapon. (3) v. To attack with a nuclear weapon, e.g., “Nuke ‘em ‘til they glow.” (4) adj. Damage caused by a microwave oven, e.g., “Nuke alert!”, or by a jock (q.v.), e.g., “My knee’s nuked thanks to him.” (4) v. To cook in a microwave oven, e.g., “I’ll just nuke some dinner.” NukeE — [pronounced nuke-ee] Nuclear Engineering (Course XXII). ODSUE — Office of the Deans of Students and Undergraduate Education. Umbrella administrative office responsible for managing the myriad of bureaucracies attempting to control student life on campus. OE — Ocean Engineering (Course XIII). Orange Tour — A guided excursion to some of the Institute’s less-publicized architectural sights. To get on one, ask a hacker. ORK — Order of Random Knights, a hacking group based in Random Hall. OSP — Office of Sponsored Programs. An administrative apparatus overseeing outside research grants and works at MIT. pants — n. (1) A condition or thing that is notable in the event of its absence. Often refers to the ability to get things done effectively and competently, e.g., “My TA helped me find my pants after office hours.” (2) What people are ultimately trying to get into when they hit on someone, e.g., “My TA helped me find my pants after office hours.” petition — (1) n. A form used to request something unusual with regard to academics, such as placing out of all your upper-class requirements. (2) v. To fill out a petition form, submit it to the proper authorities, and satisfy other protocols associated with that kind of activity. (3) v. To request a delay on an Incomplete, an administrative means of procrastination. PhysPlant — Contraction of Physical Plant, what the maintenance and janitorial staff used to be called. Now officially renamed Department of Facilities, but everyone still says PhysPlant because it’s just better. placement — The process of career counseling, graduate school counseling, and finding a job (summer, temporary, or permanent). Often occurs at the Placement Office (12-170). Player — Resident of Burton Four. policy — n. (1) A predefined set of procedures for handling certain situations or processes. (2) What Admins use as an excuse after a failed attempt to hand-wave. postdoc — Someone who already has a ph.d but is still here. postgrad — Graduate student. powertool — (1) n. An electrically operated tool. (2) v. What one has to do to catch up on the entire term in any given course the night before the final exam in that course. pox card — Derisive nickname for RFID proximity access cards. Refers to the inherent security flaw associated with such devices, namely that the transmission of identifying data can be both triggered and collected without the knowledge or consent of the holder. prefrosh — Those happy few who can still decide whether or not to come to MIT. professor — n. (1) Person teaching a course. (2) Academic rank with three levels (assistant, associate, full) comprising the main body of the faculty. (3) Institute Professor: Academic post recognizing exceptional distinction. Institute Professors can work as they wish on research and teaching, without regard for formal boundaries and duties. (4) Professor Emeritus: Faculty member who has reached 70 (mandatory retirement age) but who is working (legally) at up to 50% of his or her former load. Project Athena — A project to integrate computers into MIT academics; the origin of the current Athena system. Provost — The senior academic officer, who assists the President of the Institute in addition to carrying on projects of his own. prox card — Contraction of Proximity Card. See pox card. punt — (1) v.t. To determine after analytical deliberation not to do something, said something often academic in nature. (2) v.i. To be in the process of not doing something. putz — (1) v. To do something in a ridiculous manner or for no justifiable reason. (2) n. One who putzes. (3) n. A resident of Second West, East Campus. quantum mechanics — People who repair quanta. RA — (1) Research Assistant. Usually a graduate student employed by a department, receiving pay plus a tuition allowance for research. Often funded by outside grants. (2) Resident Advisor. FSILG equivalent of a GRT (q.v.). RAC — Room Assignment Chair. Student representative, usually elected, that determines who lives where in a dorm, floor or entry. random — (1) adj. Any. (2) adj. Indeterminate, sometimes connoting number. (3) adj. Without order, garbled. (4) n. Average person. Randomite — Resident of Random Hall. RBA — Residence-Based Advising. A program to prevent freshmen in McCormick and Next from transferring dorms or participating in REX. Red Staple — Sculpture by Tang Hall. Officially named “For Marjorie.” REX — Residence EXploration. Politically correct new term for Dorm Rush, a phrase which apparently terrorized parents with its connotations of potentially dangerous haste. The revamped acronym instead conjures family-friendly images of Greeks named Oedipus. RFID — Radio Frequency Identification. rip-off — n. (1) A theft. (2) Something so outrageously expensive as to be almost a theft, e.g., “Tickets to Bruins’ hockey games are a real rip-off.” RLE — Research Laboratory of Electronics, an interdisciplinary lab in building 36. RMS — n. (1) Root Mean Square, the square root of the mean squared deviation of a signal from a given baseline or fit. (2) Richard M. Stallman, AI Lab denizen and founder of the GNU free software project. ROTC — [pronounced rot-see] Reserve Officer Training Corps. Military officer training program operating within MIT and some other colleges. SAA — Student Art Association. SAFO — Student Activities Finance Office. SAO — Student Accounts Office. Sala — La Sala de Puerto Rico. Large all-purpose room in the Student Center donated by Puerto Rico. SCA — Society for Creative Anachronism. SCEP — Student Committee on Educational Policy. screw — (1) n, v. Bad thing, such as the Institute Screw or “screwed to the wall.” (2) v. What nuns don’t do. scrod — (1) n. A baby codfish popular to eat in Massachusetts. Example: “I got scrod at the Dining Hall.” (2) v. Past tense of screw. Example: “I got scrod at the Dining Hall.” secretary — One who is paid starvation wages to run everything. Secret Ninja Courtyard — The courtyard bounded by buildings 8, 6, 2 and 4. Also known as the Atomic Courtyard. Secret Ninja Parking Lot — The parking lot bounded by buildings 7, 5, 3 and 1. SGS — Strategic Games Society. SH — (1) Senior Haus. (2) Student House. shaft — (1) v. To damage or otherwise screw something up. (2) v. To drop something from a great height, in particular the roof of Random Hall. (3) n. An enclosed vertical tunnel, such as where elevators or pipes run. (4) v. To climb a vertical tunnel, for example while hacking. SIPB — [pronounced sip-bee] Student Information Processing Board. sketchy — Insalubrious. slime — (1) n. Term applied to the guest each LSC member gets to admit to the movies for free. (2) v. Particularly egregious attempt by upperclassmen or crust to hit on a frosh, especially before November. Sloanie — n. (1) Member of the Sloan School of Management (Course XV). (2) Someone who can’t do math. SLP — Student Life Programs. Administrative group in charge of student activities and associated social function prevention and other meddling. The people you have to see to fill out pages of forms if you want to throw a party. slug — Resident of Fourth East, East Campus. Smoot — A unit of length equal to the height of Oliver Smoot ’62, most commonly used for the Harvard Bridge (364.4 Smoots plus 1 ear). snow — (1) v. To impress someone, such as a date. (2) v. To confuse favorably with a profusion of detail. (3) n. Brown, cold particles that cover sidewalks and gutters through Boston winters. Rumored to contain water. Sponge — Nickname for Simmons Hall dormitory, based on its reputed ability to soak up beer. Sport Death — Philosophy at Senior Haus. Ask a resident for an introduction. Squanch — n. (1) Resident of Third East, East Campus. (2) A short fellow with a picket sign and a wilted flower. squat — v. To circumvent a housing lottery by opting to stay in the same place. Depending on a dorm’s RAC (q.v.) policy (q.v.), possession may be ten-tenths of the law. Squinto — Nichols 2, 3 and 4 of Senior Haus (back in the day). Stratton House — n. (1) Student Center (3rd, 4th, and 5th floors). (2) Not just a living group, a way of life. Steer Roast — annual Senior Haus party at which said animal is actually roasted, amid various other activities. Tradition dates back to the mid-sixties. structural — (1) Presently holding something else up, such as a ceiling. Example: “Don’t lean on that, it’s structural.” (2) Able to hold something else up, such as a person. Example: “Don’t lean on that, it’s not structural.” Stud Center — Student Center. Stud House — Student House. subject — One or two professors, n students, a room, a formal curriculum, a formal subject number, and a formal grade, except when it isn’t. suboptimal — See nonoptimal. SWE — Society of Women Engineers. TA — Teaching Assistant. Usually a grad student employed by a department, receiving pay plus a tuition allowance for teaching duties. Funded by the Institute. Tangerine Tour — smaller than an Orange Tour, for prefrosh. TDM — Too Damned Much. Refers to tuition. TEAL — Technology Enabled Active Learning. A new, futuristic method of teaching freshman physics that attempts to use technology to replace learning. Tech — MIT (archaic). Now called the Institute (q.v.). The Tech — A student-written and published newspaper that appears in Lobby 7 and other random places on Tuesdays and Fridays (except summers and Institute holidays). TechCASH — Official name of the declining-balance retail payment system attached to the MIT card. Preferred by the Institute to the more accurate but less diplomatic term “parents’ cash”. Technology — Very archaic name for the Institute. See Tech. Tech Square — n. (1) Member of the MIT Square Dancing Club. (2) Group of buildings located northeast of MIT, location of the offices of the MITFCU and numerous tech companies. Tech Talk — The official MIT newspaper published every Wednesday (except summers and Institute holidays). Terrascope — An alternative freshman program involving earth studies. Located at 16-177, contact Debra Aczel (daczel@mit.edu). TFM — See TDM. THA — Technology Hackers Association, a hacking group not affiliated with any particular living group. Tin Rat — Hunk of steel that is a modern alternative to the Brass Rat (q.v.). Slightly less ugly and heavy, and comes in a tasteful gray to match the concrete and the sky. TMRC — [pronounced tumurk] Tech Model Railroad Club. tomb — An enclosed space, often created when a new building is put next to an old one without fully coordinating the floorplans. They tend to be named by the first hackers to find them. tonic — Soda, New England style. tool — (1) v. To study. (See powertool.) (2) n. One who studies to an extreme. Connotes over-concentration on problem sets. Supertool: an extreme extreme. (3) n. MIT student. Slightly derogatory. See nerd. Towers — 5th and 6th floor “penthouse” suite area of Senior Haus. Towers Bug — Particular variety of house centipede often encountered in Towers (q.v.). Transparent Horizons — Pile of scrap metal left by Louise Nevelson in the East Campus courtyard, best appreciated by facing away from it. Tends to be buried whenever there is enough snow to do so. trash — To destroy or vandalize, especially during a riot. trivial — adj. (1) Obvious. Often said sarcastically. (2) Easy to do. Tuition Riot — Traditional “spontaneous” demonstration held to celebrate a tuition increase. See TDM. turkey — (1) A chestnut-stuffed, giblet-jammed Tom gobbler. (2) One lacking common sense. ‘Tute — MIT. See Institute. twinkie — A person belonging to the loose social group surrounding the Assassins’ Guild, SIPB, MITSFS, SGS, also APO and LSC to a lesser extent. Often characterized by punting a lot in myriad ways, usually involving games of some sort, usually as nerdy as possible. U — Undergraduate. UA — Undergraduate Association. Organization of all MIT undergraduates (W20-401). UAC — Undergraduate Association Council. Undergraduate governing, coordinating, and information-distributing agency. UAP — Undergraduate Association President. UAVP — Undergraduate Association Vice President. UMOC — Ugliest Manifestation On Campus, a contest to raise money for charity by showcasing unpleasantness. Frequently won by Random Hall’s many-year-old milk. Originally named Ugliest Man On Campus, back in the unenlightened days before it was realised that women and non-humans could be ugly too. urchin — Term, among others, for anyone (especially a high school student) who hangs around and makes a pest of himself, frequently causing objects of value to sprout legs and walk away. UROP — Undergraduate Research Opportunities Program. A source of credit and dollars for many undergrads. voodoo — Shamanistic religion originating in Haiti; notorious for cult-like behaviour and turning some of its members into zombies. Voo Doo — MIT’s humor magazine; notorious for cult-like behaviour and turning some of its members into zombies. W1MX — MIT amateur (“ham”) radio society and repeater. Waffle Haus — Nickname for Simmons Hall dormitory, based on its reputed ability to soak up whipped cream. wanking — (1) n, v. Self-indulgent pontification. (2) v. What nuns probably don’t do. WHOI — Woods Hole Oceanographic Institute. WMBR — Walker Memorial Basement Radio, MIT’s radio station at 88.1 FM. Women’s League — Service and social organization for all MIT women. Once upon a time named Tech Matrons. wonky — Askew. WYSIWYG — What You See Is What You Get. Generally refers to publishing software that attempts to provide an accurate screen preview of the printed output. Mockingly renamed WYSIAYG (“What You See Is All You Get”) by typesetting language aficionado Leslie Lamport, for the lack of control of detail below the resolution of the screen. Other derivatives include WYSIWYP, such as Mountain Dew or $6 pitchers of Budweiser at the Muddy. Z-Center — Zesiger Center, the newly-constructed athletics complex. Zebe — Zeta Beta Tau fraternity brother.