------------------------------------------------------------------------------ |> It's time to tell the truth about Smurfs. |> |> You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and |> ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and |> good and bad times. |> |> "But," people ask, "do Smurfs have..... you know,...... *sex*?" |> |> The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! |> |> And why shouldn't they? They're people, too. |> |> What *most* people don't know is why Smurfs are blue. Well, the reason |> is because Smurfs only have sex once a year. |> |> Face it: if you had sex only once a year, you'd be blue, too. |> |> Once a year, in the Smurf village, flags and banners fly happily |> in the breeze, proclaiming that the day of the annual Smuckfest |> has arrived. Birds sing and the Sun comes out to watch, despite |> the weatherSmurf's direst predictions. |> |> I guess good ol' Mr. Sun is a voyeur. |> |> In the middle of town, Papa Smurf gives a brief speech explaining the |> origin of the Smuckfest; how Dr. C. Everett Koop came to the village |> and warned all the Smurfs about AIDS. Papa Smurf knew that no one |> made condoms small enough for a Smurf (even though everyone knows that |> all male Smurfs are uniformly well-hung, for their size), so he decreed |> that all Smurfs would only smuck one day a year. |> |> "Smucking one day a year will help us identify any diseases we may |> transmit to one another, and keep them from spreading to the animals |> in the forest," declaimed Papa Smurf. "Besides, it will give |> Smurfette a chance to rest." |> |> Yes! Smurfette must rest. For, as everyone knows, Smurfette is the |> only female Smurf in the village, and after a full day of having |> vigorous, rabid sex with two hundred cunt-crazed little blue men, |> she needs a break. |> |> So, on the appointed day, Papa Smurf bids everyone throw their |> inhibitions to the wind and immerse themselves in debauchery. |> And, as is his privilege, Papa Smurf throws out the first throe. |> |> At his signal, Smurfette unties the skintight blue band she must |> use to suppress her natural bustiness, and her astounding tits |> spring forth into the daylight. The Sun gleams lecherously on |> the smooth, blue flesh, nipples crinkling in the light of day from |> her soon-to-be-unbridled lust. |> |> Then Smurfette shimmies out of her skirt and stands before the crowd, |> naked as the day she was born, save the spike-heeled white boots she |> has donned just for the occasion. Her long, blonde hair cascades |> down her back and lasciviously outlines her buttocks, clinging like |> a dirty old man's gaze to each curve and dimple. |> |> Her cunt winks lewdly from behind the golden shield of pubic glory, |> already glistening in mad anticipation of each and every raging |> rod it would receive that day. And receive them gladly it would, |> for hers is the indefatigable furburger, and she hungered for the |> sauce blended in the heat of passion. |> |> Smurfette turns to Papa Smurf and lifts her stupendous breasts |> with their turgid nipples to his lips. He takes each one, in |> turn, into his mouth, where his tongue dances the Fabulous Fandango |> around the areolae, as Smurfette moans like a cat in heat. |> |> Then, when poor Smurfette can take no more, Papa Smurf drops to |> his bony little knees and sprinkles his magic deSmurfilating |> dust on Smurfette's engorged cunt lips. Presto! The lovely |> blonde braiding material falls from her, leaving her shaved smooth |> as a hard-boiled egg. |> |> "Oh, Papa Smurf!" she cries. "Encore!! Encore!!", as she writhes |> in anticipation of the Fabulous Furless Fandango danced 'round her |> pulsating pussy. |> |> Papa Smurf does not disappoint the damsel in distress; he slides |> his hands under her tight little blue ass and parts her moistness |> with his thumbs. As the hot, funky juices begin to run down his |> arms, he plunges tongue-first and tonsil-deep into her wiggling |> womanhood. Smurfette gasps as the talented tongue begins to do |> its magic, and her cunt clutches at it like a baby bird after a |> worm. |> |> Cradling his head to her crotch, Smurfette's hips begin to slowly |> grind and twitch, for Papa Smurf's tongue has unerringly found her |> S-spot, and Smurfette begins the slow, hot, agonizing rise to |> ecstasy. "Oh, make me smurf, baby, make me smurf!", she pants, |> each stroke of his tongue causing her to throb and clutch. |> |> As Smurfette's moans and cries rise in pitch higher and higher, |> the crowd gazes in amazement at the mighty mound of meat struggling |> to escape from Papa Smurf's pants. This, then, is the legendary |> Trouser Titan, bulging forth in a determined attempt to split |> the barrier. |> |> Just when Smurfette is certain that she will die from sheer |> sensory overload, Papa Smurf flings off his Levis and frees |> the Magnificent Heat-Seeking Moisture Missle from its cradle. |> Maddened with blind lust, Smurfette hurls Papa Smurf to the |> platform and leaps shrieking into the air, landing unerringly |> on his Titanic Totem. |> |> Suddenly filled, Smurfette's cunt explodes in a monster orgasm, |> the force of which propels her screaming into the air again and |> again, each time plummeting her onto the Potent Purple Pecker and |> triggering another climax. |> |> Before Smurfette can achieve orbit, Papa Smurf grab her legs and |> pulls her to the ground. Swiftly, he stands, pulling her to her |> knees. Gasping in awe, Smurfette gets a head-on view of his |> hard-on, glistening in the light like a war staff. |> |> The sight of this shining stud is too much for Smurfette, who |> immediately grabs both of Papa smurf's bulging balls in her hands |> and pulls him to her waiting mouth. With preternatural skill and |> primeval hunger, Smurfette devours the monster cock, licking and |> sucking like a starving child with an ice cream cone. |> |> His ass knotting like a sailor's anchor rope, Papa Smurf pounds |> into Smurfette's mouth with furious strokes. As he reaches his |> blazing climax, he forces Smurfette to take all thirteen and 7/8ths |> inches of blue tube steak and fires round after pulsing round |> of blue goo down her ravenous throat. |> |> "Hurray!!", shouts the crowd. "Now it's OUR turn!!" |> |> Suddenly the town square erupts with scenes of azure carnality, |> as 200 tiny blue asses appear in the sunlight. 200 raging |> cocks swarm toward Smurfette's waiting and ever-willing cunt, |> ready to make her scream for mercy as they scream for more. 400 |> bouncing balls follow each other toward the nearest available |> orifice, making Smurfette wish there were more of her. |> |> Those lucky enough to find access to Smurfette's fabulous form |> begin their crazed humping, as others find their schlongs being |> stroked as fast as she can grab. Those whose time will come later |> are coming now, as their friends clutch lustily at their forbidden |> fruits, flinging frothy fuck-foam far and wide. |> |> Up the ass! Down the throat! Backhand, forehand, underhand, in |> the armpit or behind the knee, the Smurfs erupt in a display of |> orgasmic prowess to shame the most devoted student of the Kama |> Sutra. Soon the street become hazardous to navigate (and navigate |> one must), as the square gets deeper and deeper in the collective |> come. |> |> Hour after hour, the orgy rampages on. |> |> Gradually, as night falls, the screams of orgasmic ecstasy turn |> to the moans and sighs of deep contentment, with the occasional |> whimper from an over-enthusiastic sodomite. Soon all is quiet, |> as Smurf helps Smurf back to Home and Preparation H. Tubes of |> Chap-Stick are quickly distributed to soothe aching lips, and |> aloe gel is applied (as are lips, if it is too stimulating) to |> the citizen's members to ease the burning. |> |> As the exhausted (and completely sated) Smurfs lie in sexual |> stupor, gentle rains come (not them, too!) to wash away all traces |> of the fleshfest that was. |> |> And you wondered why Smurfs are always in such a good mood...... |>