SPAM Haiku 12901-13000

Move backwards to Numbers 12801-12900.


12901.
Crackle, sizzle, curl.
Rectangular shaped mock meat.
Penis substitute.
--Debbie Heitlauf, grehei@msn.com

12902.
I have submitted
Many error filled haiku
Lack of SPAM at fault

--Tbone4

12903.
The Zen that is SPAM:
Soil your mouth, ruin your shorts
Ecstasy plus bliss

--Tbone4

12904.
Violating SPAM
is redundant. How much more
could you smack up pork?

--Tbone4

12905.
Similarities
Found between SPAM and Senryu:
Addictive habits

--Tbone4

12906.
How does one describe
In seventeen syllables
SPAM's massive appeal?

--Tbone4

12907.
Kosovo in ruins
Serb bastards planted SPAM cans
Instead of landmines

--Krink - Falls Gulch VA

12908.
SPAM SPAM Not a Ham
Nor pork, nor beef, nor lamb, damn
In My Mouth I Cram

--Kathy, MiaoMx@aol.com

12909.
Hillary's Yankees
Bill "SPAM Boy" is one of them--
Does New York need this?

--Yankee This Fat Gal!, Monica For Senator

12910.
Ketchup with real life!
Coat your SPAM with the red stuff--
Kosovo Blue Plate.

--Delmontes Catchup!, jeff@icon.com

12911.
Naked SPAM and I
Significant Others, WE--
And no child support.

--Delmontes Catchup!, jeff@icon.com

12912.
SPAM lunchmeat hot dogs
You're gonna love these puppies--
Tube SPAM at its best!

--Felicia Padiddla

12913.
After eating SPAM
Heavenly choirs of angels
Burp, pass gas, and stink!

--Rev. Itupman, Minnesota's Da Bomb! Yesss!

12914.
A CRUEL PUNISHMENT
SENTENCED BY THE JUDGE TO EAT
SPAM THREE TIMES A DAY

--Mikey, drjin@aol.com

12915.
THE ZEN OF SPAMKU
CAN ONE EVER UNDERSTAND
PIG GUT POETRY?

--MIKEY, DRJIN@AOL.COM

12916.
Anti-gravity?
Snacking on curried chicken,
They admired the SPAM.

--Anonymous

12917.
Anti-gravity!
Thought it was impossible.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM.

--Anonymous

12918.
Golden lid on top
of can, inside pink and moist
is SPAM. SPAM, SPAM, ...SPAM!

--Anonymous

12919.
Chopp'd pork shoulder meat
with ham meat added and salt,
water, sugar: SPAM.

--Anonymous

12920.
After gardening
the man tries to share his SPAM
with his perplexed cat.

--Jeffipop

12921.
Slobo defiant;
Then NATO drops huge SPAM bomb.
Slobo surrenders.

--Peter Fotopoulos, peter_fotopoulos@hotmail.com

12922.
Childhood memory
Snap, crackle, pop in the pan
Fried SPAM for breakfast

--Chuck David,

12923.
All-new bride's cookbook:
"Ninety Ways To Feed Him SPAM."
Divorce rate soaring.

--Jeanne Pinneo,

12924.
When I was little
I threw away all the keys
No more SPAM, oh please!

--Willie Daniel

12925.
Flatulent thunder
Strange sputtering and splashing--
The outhouse loves SPAM.

--Ivan Itchibutt

12926.
"Vy-eenie sausage."
"No, Maw Maw, that's 'Vienna.'"
"What, is SPAM from France?"

--Biff Williams

12927.
Dinner in Longmont
A Boulder yuppie's nightmare:
Cigarettes and SPAM.

--Lissa Jedamus

12928.
Hey you, Thunder Thighs
Lickety Split bring my SPAM--
Life with Bill and Hil.

--Bite the Big Apple, Don't invite the worms

12929.
The Romans killed Christ
The pope is a rich Roman--
I am SPAM I am.

--Curious George's Banana

12930.
Fat pigs don't get AIDS
And pigs are made out of SPAM--
SPAM might be The Cure.

--SPAM AID, Might be the bandaid.

12931.
Hail SPAMkuer Goofs!
I give you the SPAM salute
*Phrrrrrrt! to you and yours.

--Fingerman, fingerman@uc.edu

12932.
If SPAM could just talk
All of life's questions answered
Alas, it just sits

--Anonymous

12933.
Under my dropped eggs
The prehistoric meat sits
Since nineteen fifty

--Clarence Whitters, NO THANKS!

12934.
God is humorous
And equally as evil
God created SPAM

--John the Baptist

12935.
Baked beans and boiled SPAM
Menino and Cellucci
A pair of dry twats

--Boston IS Dangerous, To your health

12936.
I will not eat SPAM
Finger food of cloven hoofed
And I'm on welfare

--Paul Reed, preed@ao.net

12937.
I loved you in blue
But you're pretty in pink too
Red, White, and Blue...SPAM!

--Tommy Toyota

12938.
Reason not but SPAM
Quivering, slick, moist, pink meat
Pinnacle porcine

--Oakie Doakie

12939.
Flatulent donkies
Smell better than blue canned SPAM--
And they have more taste.

--Joe Camel

12940.
We get no SPAM here
And where is here you might ask-
And break secret oaths?

--Joe Camel

12941.
What oh where is LOVE
Is it cold SPAM and warm hearts
Or wet underwear?

--Joe Camel, wears no underwear

12942.
Hack! *cough-hucktooie!
SPAM beer and smokes for breakfast--
Living in the weeds.

--Joe Camel

12943.
The shopping cart rusts
In the old pond and the smell
Rusty cans of SPAM

--Awilda Beeste

12944.
Fresh cut smell of grass
Peach blossoms, crickets chirping
SPAMku sure isn't

--Lao Tse's gas passing, Get a grip on that Spam

12945.
Psychological
Warfare. The departing Serbs
Watch G.I.s eat SPAM.

--Tbone4

12946.
"What's going on here?"
said the USDA man.
"SPAM," said pig, winking.

--Tbone4

12947.
Submitted SPAMku
Read it....god awful it was
You should be ashamed

--Harry Champer, Horn Pond, Woburn

12948.
Shining blue SPAM cans
Are the building blocks of life--
In Philly's ghettos.

--Brendan Goldstone Piofski

12949.
Polliwogs dancing
Zip-flicking through the fox tail,
Until they ate SPAM.

--Joppa Jones, jj@bcnet.com

12950.
SPAM you've ruined me
Ate holes through my pantaloons
Now I wear Depends

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my Spam!

12951.
The narrow gold road
Is paved with pink blocks of SPAM
And leads to the morgue.

--Elmer Porter

12952.
The dog humped my SPAM
Just what is this stuff made of?
And now he's snoring.

--Doc Rocket

12953.
West Virginia
Bluegrass musicians eat SPAM
And sleep in the shed.

--Clara Potts, cpotsruns@night.com

12954.
Jolly Green Giant
Well, he wasn't always green--
Until he ate SPAM.

--Z Bone

12955.
Drowning, I can't swim.
But wait! I had SPAM for lunch.
Floating, help arrives.

--Tbone4

12956.
Composted pig meat
Hydrated with thick sputum--
Communion of beasts.

--TB or not TB

12957.
Damn me, but SPAM me
Momma I need your booty--
Taco with a smile.

--Norman Whitehorse

12958.
Though the key is near,
Pink Houdini can't escape-
Has to wait 'til lunch.

--Douglas James Collinge, dcolling@abyssnet.com

12959.
What the hell is this
The SPAM Jerry Springer show?
Japanese revenge.

--RALPHIE

12960.
Grasshopper once heard
Snatch the pebble from my hand
Or try for SPAM cube

--Jeff Dilcher

12961.
Lucy in the Sky
McCartney and Lennon wrote
They must have dropped SPAM

--Jeff Dilcher, dilcher@cueva.com

12962.
Pink dead gristle flesh
Clog my veins and stop my heart
In death I miss you

--Dokuji Wanabatingie

12963.
SPAM on my pizza!?!?
Stand down, vile pepperoni--
a new King is born!!

--DJPJ

12964.
SPAM ripping the poor
Schering ripping of the sick
Same Chit dif'frent day

--Boycott Schering Drugs, get tested for HCV/HBV

12965.
A lovely June day
A jug of port, SPAM, and you
I'm in hog heaven

--Walter Babbett

12966.
Jelly splattered shirt,
Bloodied mouth and lips without
the key. No SPAM lunch.

--Jitters@MOOphoria

12967.
Life in the Fast Lane
Meals of SPAM not included--
Speed does have its price.

--Jonathan Hawker, Jhawk@primenet.com

12968.
I talk of SPAM but
I can only afford TREET--
The poor school boys' whore.

--Chesterly Gindstone, Buzzerb@hamuknet.edu

12969.
Beneath her fine skirt
I reached and felt her booty--
She was boosting SPAM.

--Supermarket Detective, Stop & Shop-lift

12970.
I popped her firm top
The juices ran down her hose--
Sweet SPAMalingus.

--Supermarket Detective, Stop & Shop-lift

12971.
Got to the hot meat
Gawd it was juicy and sweet--
Blue-balled ecstasy.

--Supermarket Detective, Stop & Shop-lift

12972.
Working all the nooks
Took time I was on the books--
And I still hungered.

--Supermarket Detective, Stop & Shop-lift

12973.
'Twas love at first bite
In the aisles of pink delight--
Triple couponed...Yes!

--Supermarket Detective, Stop & Shop-lift

12974.
SPAM in my cupboard
A sweet mystery disclosed
I smile at your taste

--Maria Grande, mag@wilkinsonogrady.com

12975.
Grease block of sweet love
My stomach screams in hunger--
SPAM be mine tonight.

--Henry C. Clay

12976.
Blessed be thy meat
Hallowed be thy slimy gook--
I shall not trespass.

--Davie Dinkum, dd123@cc.net

12977.
In the olden days
John the Baptist munched his SPAM--
Double-jointed he.

--Jean the Croppy Girl

12978.
SPAM stew with oatmeal
A stick to your shorts hot meal.
Dessert? Sticky buns!

--Grilfred Wimley

12979.
If you've eaten SPAM
Get tested for HIV--
'Cause you're a screw up!

--Fight the disease, Not the folks with it.

12980.
Ultimately SPAM
The pink slime lump of dead swine
Will be our savior.

--Temple SPAMalam, SPAMALAM to you my brothers and sisters.

12981.
I'm in the pink Lawd!
Praise the holy name of SPAM
And the Mother Sow.

--Temple SPAMalam, SPAMALAM to you my brothers and sisters.

12982.
Plum blossom dew drops
Caress my SPAM lovingly--
I give it a wipe.

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

12983.
You people are sick
Leave SPAM alone already
What's next....FRENCH FRYku?

--Milicent De Male, somewhere@sometime.com

12984.
Genghis Khan couldn't
Frank Sinatra never did--
Eat your SPAM.....Eat it!

--KINGSFORD

12985.
SPAM wedgies pucker
In the mist the full moon grins--
The old pond reflects.

--Spawn of preppies, and diseased yuppies

12986.
SPAMku lovers all
From Chicago to St. Paul--
Need Carpal Tunnel.

--Spawn of preppies, and diseased yuppies

12987.
While I was in school
My grades suffered; I ate SPAM--
And then I suffered.

--Nilda The Nutritionist, @ your local hospital.

12988.
Butt wads and MDs
Send finger waves from NY--
While SPAMs and I grin.

--Hector "Carajo!" Rivera

12989.
Eighty year old Kooch
Just how does it smell G-man?
It ain't got no nose.

--Ivanna Tellu

12990.
China must be SPAMmed
And the sooner the better--
Take-out will then cease.

--Bomb China , fortune cookie included

12991.
SPAM voters beware
Governor Bush and his wife--
A Clinton repeat.

--Texazz Pete, Thank you US customs!

12992.
SPAM FOR PRESIDENT
Everything's bigger......Texaz!
Including the thieves.

--Texazz Pete, Thank you US customs!

12993.
"Winnie's The Pooh's poo
Looks and tastes strangely like SPAM"--
Hillary said that.

--Grover Anne Grover, gag@attnet.com

12994.
Step child of dead swine
Graces our table tonight--
Then squirts in the bowl.

--Harold McKinnon, somewhere in NH

12995.
The big marathon
Two hours after eating SPAM--
Head for the border.

--Paco Waco

12996.
Caucasian pig meat
The festive blue collar lunch--
It keeps you going.

--Anonymous

12997.
Just listen to SPAM
Sizzling wads of Pork Fun Goo--
In the old projects.

--Bobby Walpole, Robderich@opie.com

12998.
Richardson's "Wild I"
A used rubber and some SPAM.
Hillary's my date.

--Bobby Walpole, Robderich@opie.com

12999.
SPAM and old Depends
Smell the same in the summer--
Like Governor Bush.

--Bobby Walpole, Robderich@opie.com

13000.
Just because it's SPAM
Garlic blossoms bloom....The wind--
I ralph through my nose.

--Monica Kneeles


Move forwards to Numbers 13001-13100.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.