SPAM Haiku 14401-14500

Move backwards to Numbers 14301-14400.

14401.
A tin of SPAM can
cause severe motion sickness.
Even if you're still.

--Scott From Chicago

14402.
Tasty, Mysterious
Indescribable Texture
Just What Is This SPAM?

--Christina Regopoulos, KPanos@aol.com

14403.
The eternal choice.
Set before you: Life and death.
I beg you, choose SPAM.

--Big Al, Almasonc@yahoo.com

14404.
Rectangular slab
With neatly rounded corners
Shapely perfection

--TFBW

14405.
I've graduated!
My tailor school final ruled.
Three-piece SPAM suit, dude.

--Paul Koob, paulkoob@earthlink.net

14406.
Of this SPAM I hear
So much about nowadays,
I can only shrug.

--Tim Kinsella, jpleaudca65@hotmail.com

14407.
SPAM is great with milk
It tastes great and yummy too
Eat my SPAM, like it

--Russel Stover

14408.
Space aliens come
Looking for intelligence
They only found SPAM

--Amanda, purplelavalamp18@hotmail.com

14409.
I've got SPAM milkshake
It is a cold and pink drink
I'm thirsty no more

--Rick

14410.
Jelly coated loaf
making me drool all over
my fresh glass of Tang.

--not Rick

14411.
Pink inspiration,
A new muse in a blue can.
Shelf life: 3K. SPAM.

--Nancy Davis, ssmith@us.edu

14412.
From what I have heard
Perhaps it's just as well that
SPAM is not kosher.

--shmuel, shmuel@england.com

14413.
A vile pink insult,
He reached out for the ladle.
SPAM in a punchbowl.

--Nancy Davis, ssmith@us.edu

14414.
Open a SPAM tin.
Tab comes off; now what to do?
Drink the yummy juice.

--Alissa

14415.
Gloopy gloppy meat
fall thou from heaven above?
Or from Hell below?

--Bill Hansen, Onieros@geocities.com

14416.
Drool with each key turn
Greeted by jelly so clear
Flannel on my tongue

--Ed Treleven, firefly@mailbag.com

14417.
Superman's powers?
Overcome by kryptonite.
Mine? Enhanced by SPAM.

--Mark Fosterwoo, Mark.Foster@azwebmail.midwestern.edu

14418.
I wish SPAM had wings.
Then I'd order KFC's
Crispy SPAM Drumsticks.

--Mark Fosterwoo, Mark.Foster@azwebmail.midwestern.edu

14419.
You speak languages:
French, English, Dutch, Japanese.
But I speak SPAMese.

--Mark Fosterwoo

14420.
Open, slice, serve, eat
Life is hell for taunted meat
One, two, three repeat

--OldBearJoe, artisticgnome@yahoo.com

14421.
SPAM of life, my SPAM
Oh yank my SPAM, spank my SPAM
Hold, hold, hold, again

--OldBearJoe, artisticgnome@yahoo.com

14422.
SPAM? SPAM? SPAM? SPAM? SPAM?
no, nO, nOT ME, I'm your frien.....d
SPAM, seeking revenge

--OldBearJoe, artisticgnome@yahoo.com

14423.
SPAM, out of the can
Eat, swallow, digest, pass on
SPAM, back in the can

--OldBearJoe, artisticgnome@yahoo.com

14424.
the food industries,
great thousands of pigs and cows,
packed intensity.

--Acidicbard, acidicbard@aol.com

14425.
Lips, noses, eyeballs,
Ears, bungs, teats, belly buttons--
SPAM family tree.

--Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14426.
Last Kiss: I saw my
Baby lying there; I brushed
The SPAM from her hair.

--Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14427.
My wife in her tub,
The water running on her
I beat my cold SPAM.

--Glenn Paul, qwikquote@aol.com

14428.
So, so much depends
Upon a red can of SPAM
Beside the dead pigs.

--Glenn and Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14429.
Put my ear to SPAM
Heard amber waves of grain roar.
Silence of the pigs.

--Glenn and Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14430.
Separated at
Birth--one refined; one processed--
Barbie Doll and SPAM.

--Glenn and Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14431.
A conspiracy:
The King ate fried bananas.
Truth: Elvis ate SPAM.

--Glenn and Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14432.
God! The brick of flesh
Is heavy and more real than
The days of my life.

--Glenn Paul, qwikquote@aol.com

14433.
I cannot resist
The quivering SPAM. It sucks
In my erect thumb.

--Glenn Paul, qwikquote@aol.com

14434.
Perversely weighty,
SPAM gathers gravity and
Collapses kitchens.

--Glenn Paul, qwikquote@aol.com

14435.
A crease in the SPAM
Burps near his lit cigarette.
Flash fried in a fart.

--Glenn Paul, qwikquote@aol.com

14436.
It slides from the can
Like a horse penis unsheathed
And lands with a whoof.

--Glenn Paul, qwikquote@aol.com

14437.
An experiment,
At first. Now it threatens our
Very existence.

--Glenn Paul, qwikquote@aol.com

14438.
Orphan Oliver
Consumes the SPAM in his bowl:
"No more, please! No more!"

--Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14439.
Tricky Dick's conquest.
SPAM-a-lam-a-ding-dong! SPAM
Smears on lips and hair.

--Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14440.
In Minnesota
It's pork chunks über alles:
SPAMsylvania!

--Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14441.
Hormel's Great Treaty
In spiced ham-man relations:
SPAMsylvania.

--Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14442.
The can opens up
Revealing a big, pink slab.
It's Sharkey's breakfast!

--Paige Paul, ppaul@pfs.com

14443.
Women's basketball--
Honolulu tournament--
SPAM musubi snacks.

--Anonymous

14444.
Lake with lovely leaves
on which float some scoops of SPAM,
damp but edible.

--Anonymous

14445.
On lake, later on,
more leaves with moldier SPAM
float--while frog observes.

--Shoshana Kurzweil ( I keep hitting enter too early sorry), Angelshira@aol.com

14446.
And much later on,
frog eats moldy SPAM on leaves,
which is why he farts.

--Shoshana Kurzweil ( I keep hitting enter too early sorry), Angelshira@aol.com

14447.
A small cube of pink
Quiet in contemplation
I was once a pig

--Clay Towery, staybump@texas.netA small cube of pink

14448.
Lonely jeweler
laying gifts out for his SPAM
put pearls before swine.

--Clay Towery, staybump@texas.net

14449.
Online we obsess
On SPAM, SPAM, SPAMmity SPAM
Blame Monty Python

--SPAMmity, maxzmomliz@aol.com

14450.
Young hopeful soldiers,
answered call in distant days:
UNCLE SPAM wants you!

--Shoshana, Angelshira@aol.com

14451.
"Play it again, SPAM!"
echoes in my head, filling
my shrink's head with dread.

--Shoshana, Angelshira@aol.com

14452.
A SPAM a day keeps
the doctor away...only
if he keeps kosher.

--Shoshana, Angelshira@aol.com

14453.
S elected P ortions
Of A ssorted M eats is how
SPAM got the name, "SPAM."

--vmoore@fc.fcps.k12.va.us

14454.
SPAM, what can I say?
It's pink and square. And the taste?
The dogs sure like it.

--SPAMa Lama Ding Dong, rachelc@aiinet.com

14455.
Fragrant and squishy
Loads of flavor and taste: SPAM
With butter or salt

--Tyler Foster

14456.
SPAM and espresso
A mountain-biking camp lunch
Bong-hits on the trail

--A. W. Coxon, Pantarayray@aol

14457.
Tomato's guts spill
Salad is cold, cruel murder
Eat canned meat instead

--DarkMan, legacy@polnow.net

14458.
The soft pink color
Smooth texture, sharp smell. Is SPAM...
Canned ground up babies?!

--DarkMan, legacy@polnow.net

14459.
Got fed up with life.
Put my hand in a blender.
Try left handed SPAM.

--DarkMan, legacy@polnow.net

14460.
I eat a SPAM slice
The pig still squeals from my ass
Die, you Pork Parts, Die!

--Loopydloop, loopydloop@pruiksma.com

14461.
Darling, have some SPAM,
I know that you don't like it,
But who gives a damn?!

--Nikky, Nikkymouse1

14462.
The SPAM I see here
It will never be alive
So now I will eat

--Anonymous

14463.
Off in the distance
I see a glow. Oh no! NO!
It's nuclear SPAM strikes!

--Mark Foster

14464.
Green pond water stirs,
shimmers in concentric rings,
covered by SPAM scum.

--Mark Foster

14465.
"When pigs fly!" she screamed.
Well, later, SPAM flew all right,
straight through her window.

--Mark Foster

14466.
Foolish iguanas.
Only extra SPAM cache keeps
Darwin from your throats.

--Mark Foster

14467.
Sea World's new crown prince,
salmon-toned leviathon,
I give you . . . SPAMu!

--Mark Foster

14468.
Sleek pork-thrust abound
Slice of SPAM upon hot bread
The sweet life I lead!!

--Mr. Roboto

14469.
What's this for lunch, Cluck?
Not another can of SPAM
Shove it up your ass!

--Jock-O Hom-O

14470.
processed meat product
strange concoction oozing out
into my dinner

--Mark Foley

14471.
Homer J. Simpson
through 10 years of the Simpsons
never said "Mmm...SPAM."

--Dan McCarthy, lenorules1950@yahoo.com

14472.
Thanks to Gallagher
I can't eat that bouncing meat
It really does bounce!

--Enoch Ridings, the4nik8ed1@excite.com

14473.
I know you love SPAM
If I fed you SPAM all day
Would you be grateful?

--Anonymous

14474.
With SPAM in hand I
Travel down life's awful sty
Cast bread on water

--Shoshana, Angelshira@aol.com

14475.
Spiced ham they tell us,
But I doubt their very words.
It is revolting.

--Paul, paul@cwagon.fsnet.co.uk

14476.
We are all stupid
We suck SPAM through our noses
We are all dumb hicks

--Southern Regional High School in Manahawkin, NJ

14477.
Smammity SPAM SPAM
smap smappity smap-a-smap
The SPAM is ass-juice

--shep

14478.
pink jelly funk meat
oh my freaking god how sick
buck nasty flavor

--edd graham, klownn6@aol.com

14479.
WHAT'S THIS I DECLARE
NOT YET MEAT NOR FLAB OF BEAR
ODOR TO BEWARE

--kevin lescenski

14480.
Pork butt, gelatin
A spiced surprise in a can
Looks more like Alpo

--John Baxter, nadirsbigchance@hotmail.com

14481.
SPAM Vindaloo: hot
oily meat by-product, will
napalm your bung-hole!

--John Baxter, nadirsbigchance@hotmail.com

14482.
S, P, A, M, SPAM
by any other name would
none the less taste thus.

--deb

14483.
SPAM, modest repast
need not cloak self in jewels.
Oh, valiant SPAM.

--Anonymous

14484.
In seventeen syl-
lables, say puke: Drop first fif-
teen; just utter "SPAM."

--Butcher Bob Belcher

14485.
SPAMotozoa
swim into my uterus
i can't wait nine months

--Damian Terrell, damian@infinityseattle.com

14486.
i've lost all my lust
at the tall gates of heaven
waits a loaf of SPAM

--Damian , damian@infinityseattle.com

14487.
retarded lunch meat
fuck yourself furiously
with the love jelly

--Damian , damian@infinityseattle.com

14488.
Doctors call SPAM bad
Could be carcinogenic
Chemotherapy!

--Bob Macmillan, bobmac1218@home.com

14489.
Bad Dreams Haunt My Sleep,
Mom, Trailer Park, TANG, Spork, SPAM...
Therapy starts soon.

--Bob Macmillan, bobmac1218@home.com

14490.
Rancid smell abounds
Goddamn landfill near my home?
Nope, SPAM for dinner.

--Bob Macmillan, bobmac1218@home.com

14491.
Going through divorce.
Wife serves SPAM every day.
Mental cruelty!!!

--Bob MacMillan, bobmac1218@home.com

14492.
Alive, how could so
much pig cross the Atlantic
to Dublin, Ireland?

--Quinninio, SPAMdermotq@SPAMhotmail.com

14493.
Is aluminum
strong enough to contain the
potent rays of SPAM?

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14494.
On my shelf, SPAM mocks
me--taking up space, or worse,
becoming a meal.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14495.
Riding the G-train
SPAM's color matches the floor
Boy, I sure need sleep

--Brooklynite, info@videofurniture.com

14496.
Buried in a lead
lined vault. Plutonium? No,
a recall of SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14497.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM is good
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM

--Anonymous

14498.
Hooray for Hormel!
What caused them to create it?
That sandwich treat, SPAM.

--Bob Levi

14499.
Modern enigma
Spongy meat in a cold tin
Can it be eaten?

--Forrest Carey, flc104@psu.edu

14500.
Little tin key turns
Metal smell sucks out my breath
I'd rather die first

--BeanBoy, BeanBoy@mail.com