SPAM Haiku 14901-15000

Move backwards to Numbers 14801-14900.


14901.
Slab of mutant pig
Bleeds out its rancid juices--
SPAM Jerky curing.
--tbone4

14902.
Twist the key, slime juice
Gelatinous glob of meat
Meat? I don't think so.

--Connie H., ConnieInAL@AOL.com

14903.
Yum-slimy can scum
Pink cube of salty pig ooze
SPAM--wonderful SPAM

--Connie

14904.
Nuclear Holocaust.
Cher and cockroaches survive.
They survive on SPAM.

--Aaron and Cassandra, aaron@webkromatic.com

14905.
Ethyl Merman Found
Our SPAM, Then Ethyl Merman
Sat On A German

--Johnny Mopp

14906.
Flouting censor's bans
A pink starlet wows the fans
SPAM debuts at Cannes

--dave slade

14907.
Must cut head off this
immortal pork product. There
Can Be Only One.

--Chuck Beard

14908.
a wartime legend
enemy bullet stopped by
heroic SPAM can

--Chuck Beard

14909.
during the Gulf War
Iraqi stocks of SPAM gas
were feared to exist

--Chuck Beard

14910.
SPAM is not all bad
why do we get pleasure from
satirizing it?

--Chuck Beard

14911.
From Kennedy's head
SPAM blooms violently pink.
Back, and to the left.

--james, simply james

14912.
Submerged in hot oil
batter goes crisp and fat melts.
The SPAM fritter cooks.

--Curt

14913.
talisman your key
make that sound you bastard you
hooked on this shit, damn

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14914.
pink blanket baby
warm secure so tasty yes
gold toast i beg yawn

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14915.
same song boy leaves home
boy meets cafeteria
alas boy meets SPAM

--stinkerton@webtv,net

14916.
foot starts to drop yikes
sidewalk deposit too weird
stutter-step just SPAM

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14917.
the SPAM in the can
seven years in the making
the key has vanished

--Hugh G. Rection, mexican@anti-social.com

14918.
blue can suicide
golden top reflects the light
addiction consumed

--Hugh G. Rection, mexican@anti-social.com

14919.
Lost in nothingness
I am one with everything
A SPAM nirvana

--WILD T.

14920.
It has been too long
SPAMku how I have missed you
Hope you feel the same

--WILD T

14921.
SPAM is so grody
It is more than disgusting
yuck, nasty, pewy

--Gina

14922.
SPAM is so raunchy
my mom eats it like gourmet
she should be checked out

--abby

14923.
SPAM is so nasty
My friend eats it like candy
I hope she won't croak

--Kelly

14924.
SPAM smells like dog food
my dog won't even eat it
I wonder who does???

--Kelly

14925.
SPAM smells like dog poop
I can smell it blocks away
I cannot stand it!

--Gina

14926.
SPAM is like sushi
raw and very disgusting
eew, yuck, and nasty

--Anonymous

14927.
I closed the door to
the microwave oven and
watched as the SPAM glowed.

--bignum1@webtv.net

14928.
The SPAM interview
Sinks dolefully in the night
Degraded and hurt

--San, Slsfelipe@aol.com

14929.
O joy, nothing here
Emptiness is a trickster
SPAM waits on the shelf

--San, Slsfelipe@aol.com

14930.
Frozen SPAM on ice
Insert small stick and behold
Ah sweet pigsicle

--finbar

14931.
After having known
the violent extruder,
my sphincter's caress...

--Dan Roettger, droettger@clynch.com

14932.
SPAM blossom tree blooms
Blue and yellow can petals
Glisten like picnic

--mike falcon, mfalcon@adiyh.com

14933.
I think I could be
a great surgeon. After all,
I slice SPAM quite well.

--Fozzie

14934.
. . . or I could be an
oncologist. "Well, sir, looks
like a SPAM tumor."

--Fozzie

14935.
Would you allow me
to strap SPAM loaves to my feet
and skate on your tile?

--Fozzie

14936.
Enough silliness.
Time to 'fess up. I hate SPAM.
It's horribly foul.

--Fozzie

14937.
laid flat on a plate
pink with gristle finger in
good love in a can

--stinkerton@webtv.net, stinkerton@webtv.net

14938.
Pig jumps in the can
Spice it, and seal it, add heat
Pig will jump no more...

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14939.
Piggish ambition
Immortality as SPAM
Canned pig never dies

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14940.
Author ambition
Poet's immortality
SPAM-ku never dies

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14941.
Think of Diet SPAM
How can it be different?
No snouts, only tails!

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14942.
This is disaster
It is inside, I am out
I have lost the key

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14943.
Hello again, SHAM!
I am having another
unproductive day.

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14944.
SHAM, you need a new
category: "Meta-ku"
SPAM-ku 'bout SPAM-ku.

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14945.
Large snake swallows pig;
the square loaf is eaten whole.
SPAMACONDA dines.

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14946.
Meta-SPAM-ku is
self-referential SPAM-ku:
Meta-ku for short.

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14947.
Now there's a new type
Recursive Meta-SPAM-ku:
Meta-Meta-ku.

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14948.
Can you handle it?
SPAM is the He-Man's kabob,
greasing the skewer.

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14949.
Inscrutible mass,
gelatin keeps its secrets.
Will you finish that?

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14950.
There's fifteen thousand
SPAM-ku; none about UNIX.
I'll fix that right now!

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14951.
Good thing I had lunch
When I read all the SPAM-ku
I might get hungry.

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14952.
I plotted SPAM-ku
dates on an Excel spreadsheet.
The growth is linear.

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14953.
If I am hungry
So too must be the butcher
If you open can

--Nicholas Hoag, no_opinion@hotmail.com

14954.
She is firm when cold,
yet she is fluid when warm--
my gelatin love.

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14955.
Went to a doctor
other than Seuss, who prescribed
egg whites and SPAM Lite.

--Nancy Davis, ssmith@us.edu

14956.
"Would you eat green eggs
and SPAM? Would you eat them from
the can?" "No, I won't."

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14957.
"Would you eat green eggs
and SPAM?" "No, Sam-I-am, the
eggs weren't green pre-SPAM."

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14958.
use it to stuff holes.
make a net to catch dawson.
use SPAM, dont eat it.

--lisa, lisuarte@hotmail.com

14959.
SPAMmy,real SPAMmy,
Meaty and annoying, mean
SPAM is very mean

--Bill Clinton

14960.
Station I. D. or
a disguised sponsor promo
says "I am SPAM-fi."

--Rancho Fiasco, ranchofiasco@yahoo.com

14961.
It is now time for
SPAM, it's the ayatollah
of rock and roller.

--Anonymous

14962.
new Anne Rice novel
Interview With The SPAMpire
newest bestseller

--Chuck Beard

14963.
No Limit Posted
"SPAM On Sale--99 cents"
Hawaiians Riot

--Rancho Fiasco, ranchofiasco@yahoo.com

14964.
conspirators lurk
SPAMolutionaries plan
The Pink World Order

--Chuck Beard

14965.
childhood memories
SPAM sandwiches in summer
ah, happy pink times

--Chuck Beard

14966.
Everyone says SPAM
is made of unspeakable
things, do labels lie?

--Chuck Beard

14967.
Star Trek episode:
Luckless guard and alien
goo meet. "He's SPAM, Jim."

--Chuck Beard

14968.
please give me peanuts
dip them in SPAM for flavor
call them all SPAM nuts

--Kacy Cavadeas, goblin_boo@hotmail.com

14969.
Eating SPAM bestows
psychic gifts. This is power's
price, are you worthy?

--Chuck Beard

14970.
troops out of ammo
threatened to pull SPAM can pin
enemy gave up

--Chuck Beard

14971.
distilling the SPAM
into its purest essence
beware of its touch

--Chuck Beard

14972.
"The Blob is coming!"
"Let's feed it some SPAM! It died!"
A shorter movie

--Chuck Beard

14973.
Not everyone shares
my opinions about SPAM.
That's because they're fools.

--Fozzie

14974.
"King of the whole earth,"
I mutter. "Yes. With a SPAM
trove the size of Rome."

--Fozzie Prufrock

14975.
Not till the guards sleep
do I furtively suck the
SPAM dry as a sponge.

--Fozzie

14976.
succulent SPAM slice
tastes purrfect to the felines
no more kitty food

--kacy cavadeas, goblin_boo@hotmail.com

14977.
Do my SPAMku here
count as published poetry?
Famous poet now?

--Chuck Beard

14978.
I say SPAM I am
but I will not always be
reviled and failing.

--Anonymous

14979.
awake blue can sky
SPAM a blooming all around
must be Alaska

--Drake, drake@vel

14980.
It's Email and Food
And it can often be rude
But is it Viral?

--legalyste@bigfoot.com

14981.
SPAM and Wasabi
Does beat SPAM and Horseradish
Tabasco is Best

--legalyste@bigfoot.com

14982.
looks like spongy meat
SPAM comes in a little can
great, now i am sick

--Pork, Interrupted

14983.
All throughout this site
They're dead but they don't know it
"I see SPAM people"

--Cedric SoulStyle

14984.
At Hormel dot com
SPAM is not "Ham," nor is it
"Meat." Makes you wonder.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14985.
sinister meat plot
gel-covered infiltrator
lurking in the can

--Chuck Beard

14986.
experimental
SPAM-like fish product SPAMmon
was not a success

--Chuck Beard

14987.
emergency SPAM
will remain untouched, it will
be there when needed

--Chuck Beard

14988.
Dawn's rose red fingers
warm Odysseus. Fresh SPAM
roasted to a turn.

--Junkyard God

14989.
Embargo lifted.
Taste the capitalist meat.
Castro overthrown!

--Junkyard God

14990.
Gore and George Dubya?
Think I'll write in vote for SPAM.
The lesser Evil

--Junkyard God

14991.
SPAM scraps thrown away.
Trash cans stay unmolested.
Mongrel licks its balls.

--Junkyard God

14992.
Scooby-Doo lunch box.
Classmates laugh at SPAM sandwich.
Tears on the playground.

--Junkyard God

14993.
Now, humans are SPAM.
You Bastards! You blew it up!
Planet of the Pigs.

--Junkyard God

14994.
Sadness reigns supreme
Here in Sacred SPAM Boneyard
We have no sound cards

--ToxicTim

14995.
Total loser sighs
No sound emanates to hear
SPAM falls, what's the use

--Two-Time Loser@Boneyard.com

14996.
No use to my life
No true meaning for the strife
Might as well do SPAM

--TwistedTim

14997.
Rose quarts in a tin
Semiprecious meaty gem
Chunky jewelry

--Brad&Karen Fifer, bkfifer@aol.com

14998.
Stroll to the SPAM aisle
past the condoms and tampons.
No one is watching.

--Junkyard God

14999.
SPAM for his birthday!
The child's happy face turns sad.
Tough luck little brat.

--Junkyard God

15000.
I dig SPAM jelly.
I grease my car, shoes, and hair.
Wild and Swingin' guy!

--Junkyard God


Move forwards to Numbers 15001-15100.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.