SPAM Haiku 19101-19200

Move backwards to Numbers 19001-19100.


19101.
SPAM, that funny stuff
is it edible? who knows?
it's pink and slimy
--Frandito-bandito-gordito-borito Gonzalaz

19102.
French figure skate judge
decrees SPAM more tasty than
prosciutto: This stinks!

--Milford Pigboy

19103.
Treet is not a treat.
Deviled ham is worse than SPAM,
and that's what's to eat!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19104.
Specialty processed
I don't know what-something-meat
shouldn't come in cans.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19105.
I come on with SPAM.
Next thing I know she's leaving!--
Or, is that heaving?

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19106.
If SPAM were a pill
wouldn't it still taste like swill?
Oh, I think you know.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19107.
SPAM so good and warm,
you are so thick and meaty.
I hope I don't puke.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19108.
SPAM for career girls.
Bright, shiny, greasy, and pink ...
Need to find a sink!!!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19109.
I'm drunk now baby
but I got to be, or I
could never eat that!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19110.
Do you think SPAM means
something else than what we think?
Sick Pink Anus Meat?

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19111.
I ate sooooooo much SPAM.
What the hell was I thinking!?
Now I'm just puking.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19112.
Rock-hard, frozen SPAM
may make a poor substitute
for a jawbreaker.

--Shadowpig14

19113.
I don't like this world
SPAM is on the rise they say
No SPAM on the moon

--Dave Clopper, Dave_Clopper@accounting4u.com

19114.
Underneath my nails
Proof of clawing in the night.
SPAM you are my bitch.

--Bill Dye, askplunket@yahoo.com

19115.
Oozing and trembling
You fall out of your can, SPAM
And soon out of mine.

--Bill Dye, askplunket@yahoo.com

19116.
Please mother NO! SPAM
on bagels is not kosher
and I'm a good Jew!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19117.
My mother always
Insisted I ate my SPAM.
That's why I'm gone now.

--Shadowpig14

19118.
Pagans dance and cheer
around a Stonehenge of SPAM.
Vegans disappear.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19119.
Cool SPAM lip smoothie:
Greases 'em up, and it's PINK!
Come kiss me baby!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19120.
Eating SPAM is fun
Poking at this pink substance
Yum! Let's take a nap

--Michael, UsedJello4sale@aol.com

19121.
Hot batter fried SPAM
In a white wine sauce with herbs
Nectar of the Gods

--Angus Murray

19122.
January SPAM
frozen solid in its can.
Now that's providence!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19123.
From first felony
to Death Row, Earl wanted his
last meal to be SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

19124.
Herman's SPAM-ku suck!
Most of them do not make sense.
Please stop the madness!

--Anonymous...re: e.w. herman

19125.
Mister Miyagi
recommended SPAM to me.
Breakfast of champions.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19126.
SPAM's mysteries are
eternal. This way I know
my SPAM will go on.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19127.
Presidential SPAM
would get my vote. I'm so sick
of pigs in office!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19128.
SPAM in the toilet
just cuts out the middle man.
Save myself some time.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19129.
Meaty, beautiful
As the setting sun sinks down
Like ocean, swallow.

--Michael Brett, alexander.brett@btinternet.com

19130.
My father made me
I like the bread and butter
Unnatural SPAM

--Brash Nash, Brash_Nash@stopushingthebutton.com

19131.
Scoobie spots the SPAM,
dripping and wet from the bog.
Damn you meddling kids!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19132.
The baby SPAMducks
skim lightly across the pond.
A future breakfast.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19133.
A race of pink smurfs.
SPAM has mutated their genes.
Now they are outcasts.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19134.
A wicked wind blows...
The SPAM raises its large head
and scans the vast waste.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19135.
I'm in the market
when I spy a can of SPAM
in her cart. Oh yeah!!!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19136.
I don't like pickles...
I don't like SPAM...But maybe
if you combined them?

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19137.
It's true I'm fond of
the ellipse...But SPAM makes me
wax poetic'ly.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19138.
SPAM with chili for
lunch was probably the worst
mistake of my life.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19139.
SPAM is your mission,
should you choose to accept it,
YOU will self-destruct.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19140.
I write my SPAM-ku
on pink paper. It helps me
to not go insane.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19141.
Robert the moron.
Can't comprehend SPAM. He will
Never get laid. Ha!

--Shadowpig14

19142.
Why the blue can? SPAM
and Picasso were both in
their blue periods.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19143.
SPAM and plum pudding
with just a touch of poison.
A feast fit for kings.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19144.
SPAM and cholera
seem closely linked in my mind,
having nearly died.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19145.
SPAM fully equipped.
The kitchen of tomorrow.
It opens itself!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19146.
Greasy SPAM laundry,
still greasy after the wash.
The stain stick won't work.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19147.
I keep my SPAM on
the shelf next to the pepto.
It's just easier.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19148.
I buzz around you
just like a moth to the SPAM.
Fly too close, then die.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19149.
Shipwrecked with my SPAM.
Introduce it to natives.
No more coconuts.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19150.
SPAM on my best tie.
Out, out damn spot! I cry. La-
dy Macbeth must die!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19151.
Hey man, what's all that
pink goo and jelly? My SPAM
got away from me!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19152.
How do you like my
new SPAMsucker suit Mildred?
Mildred?...God! She's dead!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19153.
I query the SPAM.
It has no answers for me.
Name, rank, and number.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19154.
Everyone eats in
this superb SPAMocracy.
I will see to it.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19155.
How can one cure SPAM?
Purell SPAM sanitizer
will kill all microbes.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19156.
How can I help son?
You look positively green.
Oh no! My new rug!!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19157.
Began reading at
17000. Went back
to read them all. Why?

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19158.
Now I see there's new
SPAM-ku. How will I ever
catch up now? Kill me.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19159.
I keep a detailed
log of all my SPAM-ku. I
am crazy. So what?

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19160.
I lost count today
of all the SPAM-ku I wrote.
I think that is good.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19161.
If you ate a can
of SPAM, no matter your shame,
you're vegan no more.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19162.
All these a desp'rate
try to avoid all my work--
or, a cry for help?

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19163.
Inject SPAM into
you and be superhuman!
Chicks dig the heroes...

--Alan Jones, invicktus@aol.com

19164.
kooks, cranks, and crazies
liquified SPAM and a straw
a nice fruit basket

--E.W.Herman

19165.
Eating SPAM has changed
me--I can't remember how
to open the tin.

--Scott Smith, sssmith@us.edu

19166.
Great contribution
to art--my SPAMku is one
of nineteen thousand.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

19167.
more SPAM "haiku" for
anonymous snivelers
who luvs ya baby

--e-w-herman

19168.
a zombie birdhouse
full of creeps and psychotics
tongue stud impales SPAM

--E.W.Herman

19169.
bottom feeders suck
light and space from a SPAM cube
at your ma-mas house

--ew herm

19170.
a bunch in his thong
SPAM grease for lubed buggery
"anonymous" punk

--Anonymous

19171.
Sliced with SPAM my moin.
Edible fillet up groin.
The pain--the pleasure!!

--Lauren Hanley, djwaffles21@hotmail.com

19172.
SPAM in a jungle
Key broken, primates angry
Steaming monkey lust

--RW Badley, rwbadley@hotmail.com

19173.
The laundry again.
So sad, I eat SPAM and cry.
I have no tears left.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19174.
Kids remember, this
episode was brought to you
by the letter SPAM.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19175.
The pink nothingness
of SPAM. I ponder your rid-
dle and laugh and laugh.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19176.
Oh Dunderbeck how
could you be so mean. Poor pink
piggies in your cream?

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19177.
Oh putrid SPAM! Thou
art a disgusting food stuff.
Me thinks I shall give!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19178.
Aye SPAM, but you are
a lovely fruit in my bowl!
I cleave thee and eat.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19179.
I built in the yard
a circle of blue cans, my
personal SPAMhenge.

--Chuck Beard

19180.
Oh SPAM of lovely
putrescence. My lady doth
rebuke thee and me.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19181.
Many speckled SPAM
what a colored coat you wear.
I, pink paint the stair.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19182.
Yummy, good ol' SPAM
Made of greasy, salty ham
My coronaries!

--J-Dog

19183.
SPAM and D&D
The perfect combination
I'll never be loved...

--J-Dog

19184.
Locked in a basement
Living on nothing but SPAM
I write SPAM-ku...*sob*

--Anonymous

19185.
"I can now have SPAM"
Said Sam to eat with green eggs
The good Doctor's dead

--G. E. Sutton, gesutton@hotmail.com

19186.
The High-Lord decrees,
"The peasants shall be fed SPAM!"
The people revolt.

--Tommy WItty, lord_soth4367@yahoo.com

19187.
What is SPAM to me?
Ground-up fatty pig entrails
formed into can shape.

--Phil Krause, flipnkitty@aol.com

19188.
The monarch of SPAM
dispenses meat and justice
and Pepto-Bismol.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19189.
May I have some beer
to wash down this putrid SPAM?
...I need to get drunk.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19190.
History purports
that rats brought plague, but I think
it was really SPAM.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19191.
Oh how I long for
a career in the "SPAM field."
A SPAM Ph.D.!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19192.
At first my friends thought
I was a genius. Now they
just think I'm insane.

--Little Anderson, little_anderson@hotmail.com

19193.
SPAM, pink mystery,
Gelatinous, extruded,
Homogenized pigs.

--Anonymous

19194.
Oh sweet, sweet, SPAMling
take to flight and come to me.
Breakfast is waiting.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19195.
Leaves gently rustling...
The sweet pink spring buds bursting...
SPAM does grow on trees!

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19196.
SPAM grieves time's passing.
It is the year of the horse.
5 years till the pig.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19197.
Father who art in
heaven, how could you do this
to us? SPAM again!?

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19198.
Alone I eat SPAM.
Is this then SPAMsturbation?
Perhaps it should be.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19199.
Can I keep this up?
Hopefully not forever.
SPAM-ku must end. Right?

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com

19200.
Scary Alice. Chef
of Pepper's baby turns to
SPAM, not supposed pig.

--Little Anderson, Little_anderson@hotmail.com


Move forwards to Numbers 19201-19300.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.