SPAM Haiku 5901-6000

Move backwards to Numbers 5801-5900.


5901.
Starving homeless child
Still surprised to be drooling
SPAM-vapors rising
--Jay

5902.
Can't resist the thought
of SPAM e-mail with haiku.
I flood your mailbox!

--Rob Rosenberger

5903.
Fatty lump of SPAM
Like overdone pig in can.
I need TUMS now. NOW!

--MpFoStEr@FlAsH.NeT

5904.
Jelly surrounds it
Salty meat that resembles
Nature in distress

--Mark Rimple, mrimple@astro.ocis.temple.edu

5905.
In a better place
there is love, joy, and kindness,
but here there is SPAM.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5906.
You have captured some
of the world's greatest thinkers
inside your tin walls.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5907.
Miserable life,
Ended with a grotesque shock.
Isn't that enough?

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5908.
Last night I had a
dream that I cried through the eyes
of a spiced, canned swine.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5909.
She dressed a pink cube
to look like me, and ate it.
Now my shoulder hurts.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5910.
I only wrote this
to be part of the archive
that hosts SPAM haiku.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5911.
It's coincidence
that Hormel SPAM smells bad, and
e-mail "spam" spells bad.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5912.
The part about them
grinding gentle creatures was
not in the brochure.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5913.
My daughter asks me,
"Where does SPAM come from, daddy?"
"Go ask your mother."

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5914.
My daughter asks me,
"What does SPAM taste like, daddy?"
"You don't want to know."

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5915.
The stench of "Spiced Ham"
Pursues me through my manor.
Dead, and yet alive.

--Brien K. Meehan, brien@msn.com

5916.
Spam in your inbox:
My e-mail through the wormhole
One more for the trash...

--Eye

5917.
Persons, depicted
In spamku are fictitious
This means: it ain't you!

--Eye

5918.
U of M colors
The football team keeps losing:
SPAM before training?

--Eye

5919.
SPAM between the strings.
A new Cage composition?
No: hog Bacchanale!

--Eye

5920.
The cleaning lady
used a can of Spic 'n' Spam.
My, how the tub shines!

--Eye

5921.
Vainglorious SPAM!
Over year, decade, eon
Only SPAM remains...

--Anonymous

5922.
God, whyfore is SPAM?
If not to eat, this pink flesh
What purpose remains?

--Anonymous

5923.
Yum, yum, gimme some
Byproduct of Porky Pig
A mouthful, this sludge...

--Anonymous

5924.
Spam backwards is maps
The Earth's globe shaped as a can
A new projection

--Chris Lane, PhilaPrint@PhilaPrintShop.com

5925.
Spam backwards is maps
Finding the way to knowledge
A can or a plan

--Chris Lane, PhilaPrint@PhilaPrintShop.com

5926.
Maps backwards is spam
The whole world as processed food
We can eat the Earth

--Chris Lane, PhilaPrint@PhilaPrintShop.com

5927.
Maps backwards is spam
Palindrome with no real point
One can get you there

--Chris Lane, PhilaPrint@PhilaPrintShop.com

5928.
Pigs die to make SPAM.
That's their only ambition.
Why don't they rule Earth?

--Marcie "the SPAMaholic" Stenger

5929.
If pigs ruled the Earth,
SPAM would cease its existence.
Wouldn't life suck? Yes!

--Marcie "the SPAMaholic" Stenger

5930.
SPAM's high in salt, fat,
But couldn't tell a pig that.
He'd be insulted.

--Marcie "the SPAMaholic" Stenger

5931.
See, pigs are touchy.
That's why they don't rule the Earth.
Yay for SPAM! Eat it.

--Marcie "the SPAMaholic" Stenger

5932.
Listen to that whine
coming from the pantry! Oh!
It's just the SPAM. Damn!

--Warren "the SPAMinator" Freeman

5933.
Don't be insulted.
It's perfectly normal for
Your SPAM to talk back.

--Warren "the SPAMinator" Freeman

5934.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM,
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM,
Sausage, SPAM, and SPAM.

--Monty Python

5935.
"I'll blow your house down,
turn you into SPAM! Open!"
Three pigs surrender.

--Brandon Estela, bme4b@virginia.edu

5936.
Just what is SPiced hAM?
Pork with infinite shelf life?
Nightmare in a can.

--Anna Wilberding, twilber@oeonline.com

5937.
Why can I not praise
SPAM with such wit and bon mots
Like all you lot do.

--The Copse, tmcd100@york.ac.uk

5938.
Speckled pink and white
It is quite gelatinous
Many grams of fat

--Aimee

5939.
If Doc put the SPAM
Into his Mr. Fusion
How far would he go?

--Anonymous

5940.
The Vulcan SPAM meld:
my organs to your organs,
my fat to your fat.

--Eye (er, Spock)

5941.
SPAM waves interfere:
"But I canna change the laws
of physics, Captain!"

--Eye (er, Scotty)

5942.
What do SPAM and a
violist have in common?
Compressed porcine brains.

--Eye

5943.
Why, J., we really
oughta stop meeting like this.
How 'bout SPAM dinner?

--Eye

5944.
SPAM tastes like feces
But still I eat the whole can,
Eat it all myself.

--David J. Wallace

5945.
Alas, the SPAM's gone
Children scream, women weep deep
"What will geeks eat now?"

--Anonymous

5946.
Those founts of knowledge
Bible, Koran, Torah all
Did not predict SPAM

--Anonymous

5947.
SPAM is my sunshine
SPAM, SPAM...SPAM is all you need
Bright, spam-shiny day!

--Anonymous

5948.
Brave SPAM rages on
Against the tide of cruel time
Pink Bricks will prevail!

--Anonymous

5949.
Welfare gives out SPAM
Instead of government checks
Unemployment ends

--Anonymous

5950.
The Sword in the SPAM
Too great a task for Arthur
Shamed, cries on Merlin

--Anonymous

5951.
Put SPAM up your butt.
It acts as a laxative.
GRUNT GRUNT GRUNT, POOP, PLOP!

--Matt and Mike, the Yeah-Ya Masterz, Chets@erols.com

5952.
SPAM in my stomach,
Like a twenty-ton weight in
A light pastry shell.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5953.
I certainly love
Eating SPAM when the men take
Off my straitjacket.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5954.
I'm transfixed, staring
At the SPAM. The clerk, frightened,
Stutters, "Sir, please leave."

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5955.
When he converted,
"Candy Man" couldn't eat pork.
SPAMmy? Not Sammy.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5956.
Oh, the love of SPAM
I eat it just twice a day
Men, white coats freed me

--Ryan "Chuckstermanperson" Rubin

5957.
you are a spamgot
SPAM leaks out of your gay butt
dripping down your balls

--Bill the Dill

5958.
My father loves SPAM.
He eats it ev-e-ry day.
You are what you eat.

--Anonymous

5959.
SPAM alone reviled
Back shelf dusty occupant
Food drive favorite

--Anonymous

5960.
Job hunting last week.
Talent--writing SPAM haiku.
Unemployment line.

--Darryl Hand, codap@metrisc.metricanet.com

5961.
Throw one pig into
blender. Add salt and dye. The
recipe for SPAM.

--Anonymous

5962.
That ticking is not
My biological clock.
I'm just digesting.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5963.
Look, it only takes
Twenty-five ants to carry
A whole block of SPAM.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5964.
In the thawing snow,
The can's blue corner peeps out
Like spring's first crocus.

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

5965.
Ground pig lips and tails.
SPAM in a can like a ham--
Snorts and wags in bits.

--Carolyne Rohrig, henry@home.com

5966.
Sealed SPAM in a can.
A pig's repressed memories--
Life in denial.

--Carolyne Rohrig, henry@home.com

5967.
SPAM hors d'oeuvres on toast.
Farmer's pâté de foie gras--
Slaughterhouse party.

--Carolyne Rohrig, henry@home.com

5968.
O doth wonderous
Meat in a can for my food
Consumption ready

--WeezerGuy

5969.
How awful it is
Not for human consumption
Used as bricks in room

--WeezerGuy

5970.
Everlasting meat
Along with great Twinkies now
To last forever

--WeezerGuy

5971.
SPAM, cat: in a box.
Without looking, can you say
If cat is alive?

--Anonymous

5972.
When you move real fast
Relative to the SPAM can,
SPAM looks smaller. Good.

--Anonymous

5973.
A bit of the old
ultraviolence cannot beat
a can full of SPAM.

--Anonymous

5974.
Why not SPAM-fried-rice?
Or quesadillas with SPAM?
SPAM transcends culture.

--Anonymous

5975.
Woe--the man who kills
his cat for food instead of
fryin' up some SPAM.

--Anonymous

5976.
SPAM on toast with egg
The toast and egg were perfect
The SPAM is still there

--Anonymous

5977.
Real pork in my SPAM
I guess the health inspector
Visited Hormel

--Anonymous

5978.
A monument, then
This site and many others
Worship your SPAM, worm

--snausageboy@hotmail.com

5979.
I soar, unaided
Blue sky reveals its secret
"You are safe from Pink"

--snausageboy@hotmail.com

5980.
Torn between two loves
I split myself with steel blade
"Take me now, Hormel..."

--snausageboy@hotmail.com

5981.
May you forgive us
Generations yet to live
For this legacy

--snausageboy@hotmail.com

5982.
Cube of salmon hue
You have no eyes, yet you peer
Into my foul need

--snausageboy@hotmail.com

5983.
Forsake all others
Worship not false meat product
Now and always, SPAM

--snausageboy@hotmail.com

5984.
Monolith of meat?
Insert slice A in slot B
Vomit then repeat!!!!!

--Zip Fabulous aka Julian Mason

5985.
SPAM is in a can
SPAM's lard is lubricating
Put some on yo' ride

--Anonymous

5986.
Modern truism
Eat SPAM, the world eats with you
Eat health food--alone

--Cholesterol 300

5987.
It's not a symbol,
And it's not a metaphor.
It's just dead pig, folks.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5988.
In my padded cell,
I offer SPAM to Moses.
A platypus grins.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5989.
America's soul
A slice of Aaron Copland
In a sky blue can

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5990.
Ukiyo-e print:
"Fifty Views of Mount Fuji
And a Can of SPAM"

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5991.
A killer of pigs.
"A heart attack on a plate."
SPAM is sui-cide.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5992.
Twister hits Hormel
At a distant trailer park,
Manna from heaven!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5993.
This transparent gel
Is a lens through which we view
America's heart.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5994.
A tramp steamer sinks
Canned pigs bob in the ocean
Blue upon the blue

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5995.
The beach picnic ends.
The sand blows, the naked SPAM
Puts on a tweed coat.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5996.
Bunyan loses Babe
Ox last spotted near Hormel
Blue SPAM for ten years!

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5997.
Oh, my precious swine,
What could have become of thee?
Slumber in sweet gel.

--Michelle

5998.
porcine yet divine
such a pleasing taste and smell
like a hot dog cubed

--William B. Moore, bmoore@artemis.ess.ucla.edu

5999.
Did you read the one
about the SPAM and the cat?
That one just killed me

--William B. Moore, bmoore@artemis.ess.ucla.edu (with gratitude to Meredith Merritt)

6000.
Pale pink and fleshy
Caressed by clear gelatin
My thighs are like SPAM

--Hwei OH, ohh@mail.nj.com.au


Move forwards to Numbers 6001-6100.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.