SPAM Haiku 9501-9600

Move backwards to Numbers 9401-9500.


9501.
Van Halen? No more!
Not with that new guy who re-
placed SPAMmy Hagar.
--Anonymous

9502.
Spam spam spam spam spam,
spam spam spam spam spam spam spam.
(Damn this writer's block.)

--Anonymous

9503.
Artsy French guy paints
Picture of blue can: "Ceci
n'est pas un SPAM." (Huh?)

--Anonymous

9504.
Bacon wrote Shakespeare!
I-SPAM-bic pentameter
Is thus explained, no?

--Anonymous

9505.
SPAM fetish means that
without another pink meat
your own is useless.

--Anonymous

9506.
Constitution does
not give the right to eat SPAM?
Amend the bastard!

--Anonymous

9507.
Thanksgiving turkey
is stuffed with pink gooey meat?
Well, it beats Stove Top.

--Anonymous

9508.
Addicted am I
But for the grace of SPAM Ku
I need a meeting

--Spamo A. Nonymouse, 12 Steps of Spam

9509.
Flatulently SPAM
Voice of Washington DC
Phrrrrrts! in Bubba's brain

--Flatulina Spamtina, Usmellit@dc.yep

9510.
CSPAM on TV
On twenty-four hours daily
Ad infinitum

--Carajo Gringos, Si@donotbelieve.not

9511.
It's new Instant SPAM
Eagerly I open it
Just add the Clintons

--Paul A. Jones, BenRiptoff@DC

9512.
DemocRats eat SPAM
Our country's their two-holer
They're not playing golf

--Spam A. Vote

9513.
Pineapple's downfall
Antithesis of sushi
Alluring lowlife

--Anthony Lunau, tan_knn@email.msn.com

9514.
Eat SPAM, party like
it is 1999.
Livin' on a prayer.

--odelphi@interserv.com

9515.
Headline: "Mama Cass
eats SPAM sandwich, chokes to death.
Suicide note found."

--odelphi@interserv.com

9516.
Pink meat, blue tin can
Pink baby eats SPAM, turns blue
Pink and blue Haiku

--odelphi@interserv.com

9517.
o salty gristle
you are some kind of meat, right?
caution to the wind

--Anonymous

9518.
Spent last few minutes
trying to find my SPAMku.
Ego wrought by SPAM.

--Andrew 'Imp' Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

9519.
Rubber band ball sits;
When dropped, it bounces--SPAM won't.
SPAM always goes SPLAT.

--Andrew 'Imp' Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

9520.
Demon of SPAM, rise!!
Overthrow the meat business!!
Bring Spam-pocolypse!!

--Andrew 'Imp' Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

9521.
End of college year.
SPAM goes uneaten in my
Roommate's fridge; I'm scared.

--Andrew 'Imp' Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

9522.
OH YES! OH OH YES!!
OH BABY!! YES!! YES!! YES!! YES!!
Slave to spam fetish.

--Andrew 'Imp' Weinman, aaweinma@coe.edu

9523.
I must use this word:
"Bestiality," although
it's not about SPAM.

--Knight of Wands, twistoid@mindless.com

9524.
It's noon at college.
SPAM gremlins run to take me;
I bash them to mush.

--Knight of Wands, twistoid@mindless.com

9525.
One lone, red blossom.
Soft nature plays around me.

This is Anti-SPAM.

--IMP, twistoid@mindless.com

9526.
he who builds his house
of porcine bricks and SPAM gel
has quivery home

--foo, priestss@owl.csusm.edu

9527.
SPAM and Velveeta
with a Ding-Dong for dessert.
Mmm good. You know it!

--foo, priestss@owl.csusm.edu

9528.
Eighteen inches long,
four inches square, in green can.
Navy SPAM, salute it!

--Loisseau, loisseau@hotmail.com

9529.
Manna from the gods!
SPAM, lettuce and tomato,
mayo, Wonder Bread.

--Loisseau, loisseau@hotmail.com

9530.
It would not have lived
anyhow. Pink pig fetus,
featureless. Can it.

--Loisseau, loisseau@hotmail.com

9531.
Delenn observes the
Mimbari SPAM ritual.
John sues for divorce.

--Junkyard God

9532.
The First Ones harnessed
Organic Technology.
The Forces of Pink.

--Junkyard God

9533.
SPAM, up in the sky
SPAM, deep down beneath the Earth
Universal SPAM

--Chris Rohrbach

9534.
I hook the key on
Then spinning a steel ribbon
Unlock your strange taste

--Brian D. Taylor, darkthought@worldnet.att.net

9535.
Rectangles frying
Neither bacon nor sausage
And a taste to match

--Brian D. Taylor, darkthought@worldnet.att.net

9536.
No bone or gristle,
nor blood or shell or entrails,
and yet I taste.....what?

--Brian D. Taylor, darkthought@worldnet.att.net

9537.
The mass of pink gel
Coagulates into food
It is soylent green

--Erin Marut, emarut@randomhouse.com

9538.
Greasy heaps of pork,
compressed in tin packages.
SPAM weighs more than pigs.

--Mike Drach, shinplaster@rocketmail.com

9539.
Blue cans complement,
Six hundred and sixty-six:
The food of the beast?

--Mutt'n'Geoff, geoffw@sco.com

9540.
A porcine carcass
Is soon rendered into SPAM
All used, none wasted

--Mutt'n'Geoff, geoffw@sco.com

9541.
SPAM on fine china
Eaten under candlelight
It still tastes like SPAM

--Ben Dussault, capt_crunch@hotmail.com

9542.
I eat SPAM at dusk
While day's death is impending
SPAM will bring me mine

--Jim, Michmulvoy@aol.com

9543.
Gift from my "girlfriend"
A fork and a can of SPAM
Used fork on "girlfriend"

--Paul Schirf, SPAM@PerkWorks.com

9544.
New Windows virus
Infects drive FAT--turns screen pink
WinSPAM 1.0

--Paul Schirf, SPAM@PerkWorks.com

9545.
Oh truffle rooter
Once muddy frolicking free
Conglomerated

--Dave, sdsteelman@hotmail.com

9546.
Canned and pasteurized
Transformed anew. SPAM I am
Look at me. Eat me.

--Dave, sdsteelman@hotmail.com

9547.
Pink jelly oozing
on my breasts is slippery,
Doctor SPAMmogram!

--alison, acw4@hotmail.com

9548.
Fat girls don't eat SPAM
It's not on their OA list
Kissed not the SPAMless

--A Spam Admirer, U2fat4megal@megatons

9549.
SPAM in the garden
Beautiful, weedless, serene
Composted porcine

--Mr. Greengenes, Don't call us Spammers

9550.
King of potted meats
Black sheep of pork family
I crave your foul taste

--Richard Levin, rlevin@qsi.com

9551.
A midwestern spring.
All men's minds turn to thoughts of
SPAM? I don't think so.

--Kurt Trenkle, kurt_trenkle@nicolet.k12.wi.us

9552.
Even on Sunday
I can't help but think of SPAM.
Religion can't help.

--Kurt Trenkle, kurt_trenkle@nicolet.k12.wi.us

9553.
Its power will be
harnessed to light great cities.
Cold fusion of SPAM.

--Kurt Trenkle, kurt_trenkle@nicolet.k12.wi.us

9554.
Caffeine in my blood.
Can it begin to offset
SPAM-induced coma?

--Kurt Trenkle, kurt_trenkle@nicolet.k12.wi.us

9555.
Black coffee and SPAM.
The Breakfast of Champions
In Bizarro World.

--Kurt Trenkle, kurt_trenkle@nicolet.k12.wi.us

9556.
Karen Carpenter
Kidnapped. Must eat SPAM. Dies of
Anorexia.

--odelphi@interserv.com

9557.
Ludwig Beethoven
Discovers SPAM in cupboard
Writes Ninth Symphony

--odelphi@interserv.com

9558.
Jim Bakker spams still
Tammy Faye has gone her way
God must be asleep

--Rev.erence for Spam, Fr.up@ the top.net

9559.
I ate SPAM today
Kaopectated all night
Vince Fostered was I

--Katie Nolady, Grassypark@er.net

9560.
Got spamaronied
In a San Francisco bath
Oh my aching butt

--Spam Aphrodisiac, SanFran@anytime.yes

9561.
He does what he can
The ravenous kids calling
Single dad cooking

--Cindy

9562.
My pet block of SPAM
never needs to go outside.
Better than a cat.

--Basho in Hell

9563.
If you lose your way
always remember that SPAM
is "MAPS" spelled backwards.

--Basho in Hell

9564.
It's all in a name:
SPAM just wouldn't be the same
if it were spelled "SPAME."

--Basho in Hell

9565.
Ran out of money
building my house. Had to use
SPAM instead of bricks.

--Basho in Hell

9566.
Summer at the beach.
Everyone flees the water!
A shark? No. It's SPAM.

--Basho in Hell

9567.
Served SPAM for dessert:
a culinary faux pas.
How was I to know?

--Basho in Hell

9568.
Served SPAM with no grease:
a culinary faux pas.
How was I to know?

--Basho in Hell

9569.
If I were cruel I'd
take the leftover SPAM and
feed it to the dog.

--Tal

9570.
Summer night, full moon
SPAM slab under my pillow:
what a foul odor.

--Basho in Hell

9571.
Bad dog, ate my socks;
don't look at me so smugly.
You, too, can be SPAM.

--Basho in Hell

9572.
Pinkish gastropod,
meaty mollusk in tin shell:
come, slither my way...

--Basho in Hell

9573.
Late night, hunting SPAM.
See a glistening...KAPOW!!!
Lights on...oops. Poor cat.

--Basho in Hell, (correction)

9574.
Government finding:
Pigs are smart, so eat more SPAM.
Godless bureaucrats.

--Basho in Hell

9575.
Why was the West won?
What can turn the hearts of Man?
It's SPAM, I tell you.

--Basho in Hell

9576.
marriage is like spam
pretty can with nice labels
best left unopened

--giant squid, cminson@devonian.com

9577.
Late night, hunting SPAM
Greasy trails on kitchen floor.
SPAM tracks! I stiffen....

--Basho in Hell

9578.
Late night, hunting SPAM;
Foul smell drifts from the cupboard
I know you're in there...

--Basho in Hell

9579.
Late night, hunting SPAM;
They feed on stovetop gristle
Shhh! Don't scare them off...

--Basho in Hell

9580.
Late night, hunting SPAM;
I must outfox the meaty
morsels: camouflage.

--Basho in Hell

9581.
Late night, hunting SPAM;
You can't take away my gun.
Bloody liberals.

--Basho in Hell

9582.
Late night, hunting SPAM;
A slithering sound...KAPOW!
Luncheon meat must die.

--Basho in Hell

9583.
Late night, hunting SPAM;
Really, I'm a compressed meat
lover. It's the sport...

--Basho in Hell

9584.
Frank Sinatra's gone
Was it SPAM or could it be
The last Seinfeld show

--Hey Goomba, Lastcall@daboard

9585.
I want a page for
my anti-spam spam haiku
so that all may learn.

--doug penumbra, jilfer@earthlink.net

9586.
O dusty blue can
For months you sit on the shelf
Expiration date???

--Jill Sanger, jillkid@aol.com

9587.
Upon the waters
Cast ye chunks of SPAM to fish
Harvest your dead fish

--Jiminy Houston

9588.
Frank Sinatra's gone
His last act SPAM and Seinfeld
Lethal rejection

--Dooby Dooby Don't, Ididit@myway.blah

9589.
SPAM, food of the Gods
That's why the Gods are still dead
Awesome pink power

--Anonymous

9590.
The other white meat
SPAM you are simply scrumptious
For this I got paid

--Harry the Hormel Worker, Luvthatspam@prod

9591.
Unwanted rodents
A diet of SPAM renders
Me a rat knacker

--Mickey Rat Nomore, Disnut@Erols.net

9592.
Gerbilized warm meat
The breakfast of champions
Right out of the can

--San Fran Man, doitdoitdidit@uknow.com

9593.
Princess Di ate SPAM
Frank Sinatra ate it too
It's your turn O.J.

--Doctor Spamvorkian, Mtsignoff@edu.com

9594.
On slablets of pork
Ten SPAMandments delivered
Atop Mount Swine-ai

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9595.
Northbound bacon truck
Smacks southbound speeding SPAM van
Oh no! Swine entwined!

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9596.
Blue tin center lane
Big white Mack truck bearing down
Pink treadmarks on road

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9597.
Perfectly preserved
Mummified meat meets maker
His Hormel heaven

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9598.
Tornado alley
Pig farms, tin can factory
Fresh SPAM falls from sky

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9599.
Pentagon secret
Feeding foes farm fricassee
Saddam, meet stealth SPAM

--racada, suncat@northlink.com

9600.
Is anything worse
than cold, gelatinous SPAM?
Probably tofu.

--Mike Defever, mdefever@lamar.colostate.edu


Move forwards to Numbers 9601-9700.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.