SPAM Haiku: Literature

SHAM-27.
Psychologists think
Sartre wrote Nausea because
His mom fed him SPAM.

SHAM-45.
Gregor Spamsa woke.
In horror he sees that he's
Now a pink pork cube.

SHAM-46.
Is SPAM Kafkaesque
Or was Franz Kafka Spamesque?
That is the question.

SHAM-62.
A bulimic binge:
Bread, cheese, spam, chips, Spam, SPAM, SPAM--
Gravity's rainbow.

SHAM-116.
SPAM and the Art of
Motorcycle Maintenance

By Robert Pigsrig.

SHAM-117.
Post-culinarism's
touchstone text: Derrida's On
Spammatology
.

SHAM-118.
Knut Hamsun shuns SPAM,
Writes Hunger, wins Nobel Prize.
Moral: Don't eat SPAM.

SHAM-119.
"Formal systems can't
prove all--like what's in SPAM." From
Gödel, Escher, SPAM.

SHAM-120.
"For highest congress
Push whole loaf in yoni." From
The Spama Sutra.

SHAM-121.
Burroughs plays William
Tell with SPAM loaf, kills wife, in
Naked Luncheon Meat.

SHAM-122.
Rushdie gets fatwa
for writing that Mohamed
enjoyed eating SPAM.

SHAM-123.
In the innermost
circle of hell, Dante finds
Jay Hormel alone.

SHAM-141.
Twenty loaded shelves.
The only moving thing was
The eye of the SPAM.

SHAM-142.
I was of three minds,
Like a SPAM in which there are
Three species of meat.

SHAM-143.
A SPAM swirled in the
Frying pan. 'Twas a small part
Of the pantomime.

SHAM-144.
A boy and a girl
Are one. A boy and a girl
And a SPAM are one.

SHAM-145.
Which do I prefer?
The beauty of ingestion
Or what comes after?

SHAM-146.
Kitchen windowsill.
Lit by passing headlights, SPAM
Casts a long shadow.

SHAM-147.
Thin men of Haddam,
Don't you see the SPAM rising
In your women's pans?

SHAM-148.
I know what's good food;
But I also know that the
SPAM knows that I know.

SHAM-149.
When the SPAM was fried,
Its grease marked the edge of one
Of many circles.

SHAM-150.
At the smell of SPAM,
Even bawds of euphony
Would cry out sharply.

SHAM-151.
Once, a fear pierced him,
In that he mistook his wife
For a loaf of SPAM.

SHAM-152.
Smoke issues from the
Kitchen. Dogs retch in gutters.
SPAM must be cooking.

SHAM-153.
The aisles were empty.
They would always be empty.
SPAM sat on the shelf.

SHAM-159.
The red wheelbarrow
Burdened with solemn portent
Wishes it were SPAM.

SHAM-201.
What do Oscar Wilde
And SPAM loaves have in common?
Homo genius.

SHAM-205.
Spamlet: Danish ham.
Lite version: Hormel Gibson.
Cooked up by Bacon?

45.
Oh, God! I just ate
some (Spam the Internet) with
e.e. cummings's dog.

--Chris Raile, raile@eecs.ukans.edu

401.
What once contained SPAM
now rusts in tall roadside weed--
Kerouac long gone.

--Paul W. Lewis, pp001342@interramp.com

468.
Shakespeare ate pink meat
Happiness, thy name is SPAM!
Close the tin curtain

--Dave "spam" Krider, http://www.cco.caltech.edu/~ekrider/FunEMail/funemail.html

493.
Enveiled in mayo,
SPAM feels groom's nibble. It's Great
Expectorations
!

--Marian Zeletz, marianz@netropolis.net

532.
From Shakespeare's Spamlet:
The jester ate a whole can,
Alas poor Yorrick.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

551.
Call me Ishmael.
Had Melville invented SPAM
It might be called "Spale."

--Anonymous

635.
In Heart of Darkness
Kurtz eats SPAM. "The horror..." Then:
"Mistah Kurtz--he dead!"

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

713.
Sinclair's The Jungle
will always be relevant
as long as there's SPAM.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

793.
Zen guy on Harley
flattens SPAM can; oops, time for
cycle maintenance.

--Jared Stamm, jared_stamm@scp.com

892.
Misread through the years,
"SPAM of Amontillado"--
Poe's private pleasure.

--Anonymous

1065.
Herman Melville eats
SPAM, starts writing about a
really big pink whale.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

1067.
Shakespeare asks, "Shall I
compare thee to a summer
SPAM? Yes. You both smell."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

1111.
"A SPAM murder, Holmes?
Whither the murder weapon?"
"Alimentary."

--Ken Zuroski, zuroski@cmu.edu

1173.
From Shakepeare's Twelfth Night:
"If music be the SPAM of
love, then don't play on."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

1387.
What meat through yonder
window breaks? It is SPAM, and
Juliet lies hurt.

--Ed Wood, edw@ttgwest.com

1419.
if e e cummings
were to contribute haiku
he would write of 'spam'

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

1443.
Hunter S. Thompson
eats SPAM, writes Fear and Loathing
in Minnesota
.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

1581.
Beneath the city
Madness screams for a cask of
SPAMontillado!

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1603.
Hungry villagers.
Pink Frankenspam came to life.
"Eat me," he taunted.

--Douglas Staples, AnnikaDZ@aol.com

1639.
Shakespeare invented
SPAM. Recipe in witches'
Scene in play Macbeth.

--Anonymous

1677.
Ist es nur das Fleisch,
oder wahrlich der Heiland?
Was ist diesen "SPAM"?

--Dave "Rilke" Bieri, BIERI@IDX.IDX.COM

1678.
¿Es carne solo,
o tal vez un salvador?
¿Que es esto "SPAM"?

--Dave "Neruda" Bieri, BIERI@IDX.IDX.COM

1679.
Ceci, jambon seule,
ou vraiment un sauveur, non?
Qu'est-ce que c'est le "SPAM"?

--Dave "Baudelaire" Bieri, BIERI@IDX.IDX.COM

1680.
Prosciutto solo,
o salvatore vero?
Che fa questo "SPAM"?

--Dave "Guarini" Bieri, BIERI@IDX.IDX.COM

1681.
Is it just some meat,
or maybe the true savior?
What is this here "SPAM"?

--Dave "Faulkner" Bieri, BIERI@IDX.IDX.COM

1682.
Wist not that a ham
hideth th'immaculate Lamb?
Myst'ry, Thou art "SPAM"!

--Dave "Milton" Bieri, BIERI@IDX.IDX.COM

1741.
In Spamadu did
Kublai Khan a pleasure dome
Decree. MacDonald's.

--Mike O`Connor (K.M.O`Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

1797.
Armageddon come,
I shall build my shelter from
a million blue cans.

--Steve Masticola, masticol@scr.siemens.com

1798.
A truckload of SPAM,
Can kraut, half dozen bagels,
Bring home for Emma.

--Steve Masticola, masticol@scr.siemens.com

1799.
Millenia hence,
the Memorabilia
enshrines the labels.

--Steve Masticola, masticol@scr.siemens.com

1810.
Famous beginnings:
Ate "SPAM Surprise" at young age.
Stephen King is born.

--Lyle Wilson, tl.wilson@baylordallas.com

1811.
Poor Dr. Faustus...
had so tragic an ending,
yet never ate SPAM.

--Lyle Wilson, tl.wilson@baylordallas.com

1844.
A la Recherche du
SPAM Perdu
: instructions for
Reclaiming spoilt meat.

--Martin Booda, booda@datasync.com

1845.
Once upon a SPAM
night weary, while I pondered
"What's in the blue can?"

--Mike McGaff

1846.
A tap, tap, tapping
from inside the container.
Partake nevermore.

--Mike McGaff

1847.
Quoth the Raven: "Hey,
you keep eatin' that stuff, of
course you'll have nightmares!"

--Mike McGaff

1848.
Ebeneezer Scrooge
Hunted by Ghost of SPAMs Past
Wakes in fear, then hurls.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

1849.
One day I caught a
Little SPAM playing Hamlet.
Quickly, I canned it.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

1872.
Robinson Crusoe.
SPAMprints in sand. Man Friday?
No: Captain Hormel.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

1880.
"Tread softly because
You tread upon my SPAM." By
Captain "Yeats" Hormel.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

1885.
Hungry corpse looks for
Sole Precious Agony Meal--
by Marquis de Sade.

--Anonymous

1948.
A SPAM is a SPAM,
Is a SPAM. But Gertrude knows
A rose is a rose.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2008.
Diner. Kerouac
rhapsodizes over wild
American SPAM.

--William Routhier, routhier@cybercom.net

2068.
Shall I compare thee?
"Quite frankly, my dear," she cried
"I don't give a SPAM!"

--Jo, daughter of mickman

2119.
A Portrait of the
Artist as a Young SPAM
: as
cool as Ulysses.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2148.
"SPERM, you fool, not SPAM!"
Frankenstein rasped at Igor.
A monster is born!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2167.
Richard the III said
"Spam, spam, my kingdom for spam!"
AOL users!!

--bags@voicenet.com

2174.
Hemingway caught fish
with a novel bait; wrote The
Old SPAM and the Sea
.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2175.
"Chicago: Butcher
to the world, Seller of pig
snouts," wrote Carl SPAMburg.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2176.
"A tin of beauty
is a joy forever." Keats's
"Ode on a Greek SPAM."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2177.
Stein and Toklas fell
in love over a slice. Still,
"A SPAM is a SPAM."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2178.
Alice B. whips up
a special treat for Gertrude:
her hashish-SPAM loaf.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2209.
Regurgitation
Of SPAM barred. Gert and Alice
Seek rose bush refuge.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2339.
1984:
"Slavery is freedom" "War
is peace" "SPAM is food"

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2340.
SPAMimal Farm: "All
meats are equal. Some are more
equal than others."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2341.
Dickens describes SPAM:
"It was the best of meats, it
was the worst of meats."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2358.
Mr. Leopold
Bloom ate with great relish the
SPAM he got from cans.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2363.
Shakespeare's critics say
Francis Bacon wrote his plays.
Nope; 'twas Francis SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2394.
Molly Bloom never
Got out of bed. Leopold
Always frying SPAM.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

2477.
Moby. Stupid whale.
Here, there, and everywhere is...
SPAM. Ubiquitous.

--Mason Griecko, PoohVA@mail.erols.com

2529.
From Mary Shelley's
troubled dreams came Frankenstein...
SPAM far too unreal.

--Chuck Baird, zbaird@cjnetworks.com

2563.
In Shakespeare's SPAMlet:
Shouts at Ophelia, "Get thee
to a cannery."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

2603.
The Bard's king declares,
"My kingdom for a horse? Pah!
It's SPAM I desire."

--bill mahoney, mahoney@academ.wvwc.edu

2626.
Your kingdom for a
horse? No problem. Here's some SPAM.
Plenty horse in that.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2636.
Queeg throws SPAM over
the side; from now on the crew
calls him "Old Pink Stain."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2683.
The sad, lonely prince
asks, "To SPAM or not to SPAM?
That is the question!"

--Dave Bieri, BIERI@IDX.COM

2726.
Ah, SPAM of my de-
Light that knows no wain, this SPAM
Rises time again.

--"James Elroy" O'Connor

2804.
The end of Hamlet.
Rosencrantz and Gildenstern
Are dead. They ate SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

2865.
Warbles Juliet,
"Wherefor art thou, Spameo?
Fill me with your meat."

--mgeraty@fnbc.com

2964.
In Xanadu did
Kublai Khan gyre and gimble
in the SPAM! (Huh? What???)

--Dave Bieri, BIERI@IDX.COM

2980.
Dante cataloged
tortures in hell but did not
anticipate SPAM.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

2997.
Mickey Spillane's Mike
Spammer
: a private eye who
Locates missing pigs.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3006.
Like Coleridge my
SPAMadu dissipated
upon awaking.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

3007.
The Cheshire Cat smiled
because he knew Alice ate
SPAM before napping.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

3010.
To sleep, perchance to
dream. To wake, perchance to find
the SPAM was a dream.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

3040.
Deep-thinking Nietzsche
goes mad after writing of
"SPAM and Super-SPAM."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3042.
Alexander Pope's
warning: "A little SPAM is
a dangerous thing."

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3047.
Was SPAMlet really
written by Shakespeare? No, by
Sir Francis Bacon.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3051.
"George, tell me about
The rabbits." "Sure, Lenny. They
Were made into SPAM."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3060.
There was me: that is,
Alex, and my three droogs: that
Is, Pete, George, and SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3063.
Dr. Frankenstein
used SPAM for brains and made the
first politician.

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

3086.
"Oh, that this too, too Solid Meat By-Product would Melt." More from SPAMlet.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

3102.
Dante's Inferno
cannot handle SPAM poets.
Newly-built circle !

--D. Bieri, BIERI@SP.IDX.COM

3109.
Still more SPAMlet: "To
sleep, perchance to dream of SPAM...
I need some coffee."

--CHris FIshel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

3175.
Starving, desperate,
Jean Valjean swipes SPAM, is caught.
Pleads insanity.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

3175.
Hormel hires Javert
To track SPAM thief through sewers.
SPAM is still sniffed out.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

3176.
Thenardier feeds
Cosette nothing but SPAM. What
Vicious child abuse.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

3177.
Troops pelt barricades
With SPAM. Gavroche and student
Rebels are wiped out.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

3178.
Through eternity,
Mankind suffers, life and death;
A Great Pink Thing laughs.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

3200.
Yossarian says:
"If I eat it, I'm crazy."
No SPAM-22.

--Bob Greiner, greinerb@washpost.com

3207.
In Tom Clancy's book
"The Hunt For Pink October"
SPAM tries to defect.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3214.
Best possible world:
Pink meat is tastiest meat.
Doctor Spamgloss gags.

--bob greiner, greinerb@washpost.com

3215.
Thumper pounds, man flees
Hissing grows in the desert
Spam-hulud rises

--bob greiner, greinerb@washpost.com

3274.
The cat ate the SPAM.
It's in Stephan King's new book,
SPAM Cemetary.

--Janie Applecheeks

3381.
"George. Where you gone, George?
I petted this pig. It's spammed
Good now. Come back, George."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

3397.
SPAM is to food what
The Bridges of Madison
County
is to books.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3398.
Nah, I take that back.
SPAM is more like something by
Bret Easton Ellis.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3399.
Just like Ellis's
American Psycho, SPAM
makes people feel sick.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3413.
Fear and Trembling, SPAM
Either/Or that canned sausage.
Kirkegaard knew all.

--Frank T.King, franktik@oregoncoast.com

3425.
Bhagavad Gita:
"Now I am become SPAM, the
destroyer of meals."

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3478.
Young SPAMherazade
The Sultan of SPAMarkand
Arabian SPAM

--Maureen Denis, mdenis@mint.net

3479.
Dickens ate no SPAM
Never was the best of SPAM
Was the worst of SPAM

--Maureen Denis, mdenis@mint.net

3488.
Shakespeare's Danish prince,
The true king of Elsinore.
His name was SPAMlet.

--Maureen Denis, mdenis@mint.net

3496.
Much Ado About
Nothing
--the truth about all
The hype over SPAM.

--Maureen Denis, mdenis@mint.net

3497.
Steven King novels,
Nothing about Killer SPAM?
Come on! Get with it!

--Maureen Denis, mdenis@mint.net

3597.
Ernest Hemingway
wrote of SPAM's horrors in his
A Farewell to Hooves.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3598.
Ernest Hemingway's
The Gas Also Rises is
also about SPAM.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

3618.
Fake pork product kills
millions. Survivors go nuts.
Stephen King's The Spam.

--The Lunatic on the Grass

3644.
Where is that lost Greek
Classic: Homer's SPAMiad?
Well, the Greeks had taste.

--Martin H. Booda,booda@datasync.com

3693.
Sun Tzu's Art of War
Says: Strike foe where he is not.
Oh, and feed him SPAM.

--Bob Greiner, greinster@ichange.com

3786.
Juliet looks forth
Across the fair land and cries,
"Wherefore art thou, SPAM?"

--Anonymous

3787.
Romeo lets his
Hand tenderly touch the can,
Sighs, "I love you, SPAM."

--Anonymous

3915.
Hunter S. Thompson
authors Fear and Loathing on
the SPAM-paign Trail
, ace...

--giles metcalfe

3916.
The Great SPAM Hunt, a
fantastic piece of Gonzo
Journalism. Indeed...

--giles metcalfe

3925.
Man wearing white shirt
Drops meat, causing greasy stain;
Cries, "Out, out, SPAM dot!"

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4056.
The smell of fried SPAM--
A remembrance of things past
For less high-class Prousts.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4098.
Portnoy, as a boy,
finds the liver much too rough.
Uses SPAM instead.

--Bob Bendesky, MSA homepage

4122.
Pirate was known for
his SPAM Breakfasts. No one showed
up for them. Too bad.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4269.
I threw a SPAM can
In the air; it fell to earth
And dented my car.

--Francis Heaney, francis.heaney@tglbbs.com

4410.
SPAM killed Sweet Lenore
Quoth the raven, "Nevermore"
Ravens don't eat SPAM

--Anonymous

4426.
The SPAM tin's no fine
and private place / Too many
pigs do there embrace.

--Chris Fishel, ctf2m@virginia.edu

4468.
Do not go gently
Into that fresh can of SPAM--
Dig deep with gusto!

--Laura Hasenstab, 2946lh@fuse.net

4469.
mehitabel and
archie share a can of spam
dead roach on space bar...

--Laura Hasenstab, 2946lh@fuse.net

4497.
The Kama Sutra
features a SPAM chapter that's
sure to turn you off.

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4571.
HOGMA TO LIVE BY:
"Let us now praise heinous SPAM."
(Rudyard Chittering.)

--Barrie Collins, bcollins@comox.island.net

4693.
"Please, Sir, I want more."
Oliver gets SPAM instead.
"Please, Sir, I want less."

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4698.
The river wanders
Past sties and golden cornfields.
Huck and Jim share SPAM.

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4721.
"...the slithy toves did
gyre and gimbol in the wabe..."
Carroll conceived SPAM!

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

4765.
Edgar Allan Poe
"The Fall of the House of SPAM"
His only failure

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4807.
"Help the SPAMbardier!"
"I'm the SPAMbardier! I'm fine!"
"Then help him! Help him!"

--Bob Roberds, broberds@ix.netcom.com

4825.
Three-Mile Island trip
Fishing rod snagged a huge fish
Pink, fierce--Moby SPAM

--Wendi Aarons

4839.
"But I love cold SPAM.
I really do, Gepetto!"
A nose is growing.

--John Mitchell, JAM@altagroup.com

4870.
The SPAM I left out's
Covered with bugs. This piggy
Is "Lord of the Flies."

--Francis Heaney, fheaney@dcdu.com

4907.
Scrooge gave Crachit one
Day off and Christmas SPAM. God,
How cruel could he be?

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4908.
"Ebenezer Scrooge,
I'm the Ghost of Christmas SPAM!"
"Please, no! I've reformed!"

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4909.
"I wear sausage I
Forged in Life!" cries Marley. "I
made it link by link!"

--Martin H. Booda, booda@datasync.com

4960.
A horny Hindu
The Kama Sutra and SPAM
A phony yoni

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

4992.
Which of these many
fine SPAMku authors will bag
the Piglitzer prize?

--zbaird@cjnetworks.com

5000.
Upton Sinclair's book
Never could have prepared me
For the sight of SPAM

--Cholesterol 300

5071.
Mister Shakespeare said:
"SPAM by any other name,
would still smell like shit."

--Cholesterol 300

5090.
In Spamadu did
Hormel Khan a stately ab-
Attoir decree. Oink!

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

5097.
Doctor Spamenstein
Sighed, "Igor, things have gone wrong.
We'll have to can it."

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

5121.
"Who is SPAMIA?
What is she, that all our swine
Condemn her?" --Shakespeare

--John Mitchell, jam@altagroup.com

5208.
In the night, a cry
The SPAM of the Baskervilles
Claims one more victim

--Tom Elliott, tosh@werple.net.au

6133.
I have seen the best
minds of my generation
stark, naked, Spamfed

--space yr pidgin

6140.
under their tree, poor
Estragon and Vladimir...
still waiting for SPAM

--space yr pidgin

6195.
combing jules verne's beard
after the exhumation:
SPAM proves time travel!

--avo lowe

6214.
The ghosts of SPAM past,
present, and future arrive
to feast upon Scrooge.

--WRKSOFFART

6482.
SPAM of the future
Wins Hugo and Nebula
Psionic lunch meat

--Eliezer S. Yudkowsky, sentience@pobox.com

6483.
Shakespeare and Chaucer
Unworthy of attention
Wrote nothing on SPAM

--Eliezer S. Yudkowsky, sentience@pobox.com

6797.
Sow reading a book:
Young Brits boared on desert isle.
Will the boys be tinned?

--Stephen Linhart, stephen@stephen.com

6849.
Metamorphosis
Gregor Samsa's worst nightmare
"I have become SPAM"

--Joe Nicholas, nicholas@sound.net

7098.
Animal Farm: "Four
Legs--good; no legs--huge increase
In SPAM production."

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

7146.
"Why? Why!" wailed Charlotte,
Wilbur kidnapped by Hormel.
E.B. White, you brute!

--daniel goldberg, dgoldberg@issiinc.com

7153.
"Some pig! I bet he'd
fetch quite a price from Hormel."
Charlotte's a mean drunk.

--Tilting Space Cadet

7215.
"Methinks thou protest
too much--eat it." "Noooooo!" Spamlet,
from act three, scene two.

--Mark W. Herber, markh@cts.com

7220.
Ahab ate his SPAM
Using cans for his peg leg
This explains his hate

--Wild T.

7221.
The crew up on deck
Toss chunks of SPAM overboard
Sharks will not follow

--Wild T.

7222.
Island primitives
Missionaries bring them SPAM
Makes more cannibals

--Wild T.

7223.
The cry "Thar she blows"
Is it the whale, Moby-Dick
No, it's last night's SPAM

--Wild T.

7224.
As Moby Dick sinks
He drags Ahab to his death
"Do NOT feed me SPAM"

--Wild T.

7225.
Floating on the sea
The remains of the Pequod
And SPAM leftovers

--Wild T.

7254.
A Tale of Two SPAMs:
One was fried, the other grilled.
Then both were tossed out!

--janie applecheeks, pphhrogg@communique.net

7624.
His SPAM with the Wind
A New York Times best seller
Monkey Spanking Boy

--MSB

7656.
Doctor Frankenstein:
His creation incomplete
must resort to SPAM.

--Joe Campbell, don_cam@msn.com

8001.
Robert Frost refused
Million bucks to write a poem
Glorifying SPAM

--SPAM-Boo

8394.
Had Proust eaten SPAM
instead of tea and cakes, no
things past remembered.

--Holly Jenson, hj@rosenet.net


Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.