The "Dirt on DAVE" Page

To make this bit really work, you'll have to help me out here by using your imagination. What I need you to do is, when you read the next paragraph, hear it in your head not in your voice or in my voice, but instead hear it in the voice of that ubiquitous radio announcer who does all the Monster Truck Rally commercials. You know, the guy who says the rally is "Thiiiiiiiiiiisssss SundaySundaySUUN-DAAAAAAAY!!!" That guy.

OK, got that voice in your head now? Good. Read on.

Yes, here's the place to find out all there is to know about DAVE!

• Read what People Say About DAVE!
• Find out What DAVE Does!
• Learn Where DAVE Lives!
• Find out about DAVE's Favorite Holiday!
• Find out about DAVE's Second Favorite Holiday!
• Cower in fear at DAVE's Most Dubious Achievements!
• See what it looks like when DAVE rolls his head on the keyboard!
• Read the much-anticipated "So, You See, There Was This Woman..." page!
• DAVE currently feels

Keep Those Cards and Letters Coming...