Leadership Challenges: Risk Taking, Truth Telling, Joy
Annie Stunden 12/1997

This was a thoughtful seminar.  Basically, Annie challenged us to
reflect on our approach to leadership with a series of questions,
points, and exercises focused around truth telling.

These are some of the points that she provided for us to think about.

Community

"Risk-taking, truth-telling and joy are part of being in community.
To build community, we need to take risks and tell the truth."

Matthew Fox says: "...community, after all, means to work on a common
task together."

M. Scott Peck says: "If we are going to use the word (community)
meaningfully, we must restrict it to a group of individuals who have
learned to communicate honestly with each other, whose relationships
go deeper than their masks of composure..."

How much time do you spend at work?
Do you feel good about it?

EXERCISE: What do you want at work?  What is one word that describes
what you want at work?

EXERCISE: What makes a workplace lack joy?  What makes it feel
oppressive?

Can you change it?  
You can certainly change the place you spend your time.

How?
Take a risk.  Tell the truth.

Truth.  Honesty.  Openness.

Levels of Truth

-1	Lying			Denial

 0	Silence			Aware of Sensation
	withholding

 1	"You are...a jerk"	Express self

 2	"About you I feel...	Know your feelings
	anger and hurt"

 3	"Because...you		Make connections
	insulted me"

 4	"Which means...		know your defenses
	you don't think I'm smart"

 5	"About me I fear...	aware of yourself
	I'm not really smart"

Push for the deepest level you can face.

Part of the process is "No Elephants in the Living Room" -- when
something happens, don't ignore it, deal with it.

"When someone speaks the truth--
	breathe
	listen
	don't argue
	don't defend or explain
	ask for clarification
	ask what might improve the situation
	say thank you
	keep breathing"
(accepting feedback--compliments of Marilyn McMillan)

Listening
	Listen with full attention
	Look at the person who is talking with friendly interest
	Do not judge
	Don't interrupt the person talking
	Evidence interest by your attention, your face, your posture,
		your openness to hear, not by your sympathy
	Do not give advice unless asked
	Do not relate this to your experience for the speaker (this is
		their story, not yours)
	Expect the person talking to work their own way through their
		issue brilliantly

New Ways of working call for Self-Reflection
	About your behavior
	About your feelings
	About your expressions

Behavior
	Inclusion (in/out) Where is the boundary?
	Control (up/down) Who is taking responsibility?
	Openness (open/closed) How much information do you want to
		share?

EXERCISE:

Think about yourself as a leader.

1.  Do you include people in your activities?  Are people encouraged
to include you?

2.  How much control do you need to have in the workplace?  How much
can you let others have?

3.  And how open are you?  How open do you want others to be with you?

4.  And how would you want your boss to answer those same questions?

Feelings
	Significance
		Attention, notice, inclusion, appreciation, reward
	Competence
		capacity to coper, self-sufficient, make decisions,
		solve problems
	Likeability

Self Esteem
	speak the truth, be respectful, and expect people to do what
they have committed to do

Reviews
	What did I do well this year?
	What could I have done different or better?
	What am I going to accomplish next year?
	What help do I need to do it?