From: <skywise@ATHENA.MIT.EDU>
Message-Id: <8805270210.AA08777@M4-035-9>
To: dragon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU
Cc: dpolicar@ATHENA.MIT.EDU, xphelan@ATHENA.MIT.EDU, skywise@ATHENA.MIT.EDU
Subject: Now that it's all over...
Date: Thu, 26 May 88 22:09:58 EDT

I'm really upset.  I've spent a lot of time crying, and want to just write
about what's going on in my head.  Please send this to the Input directory,
'cause I don't know how to yet.

I'm very upset that the GMs told us what was really going on; it's really 
very hard for me to realize that Nathan was just a pawn.  I feel like what-
ever he does doesn't matter.  His God, who he loves so much, will never 
be ble to save him; when he dies he's gone, gone, gone.  In the eyes of
people like his friend Julia Echohawk he must seem like merely a guinea pig,
and not a human being.  And from my brief look at her character sheet it
seems like the players of the wardens can never fully understand the pain
those of us who live on the planet and have found out the real story feel.
Tami (the Queeeeeeen) and I talked some more about this today, and we both
feel so -- well, useless and futile.  Nathan, of course, will never really
know or understand this, so HE's fine, but Saul, on the other hand, is very
upset, as Nathan was a big part of me for the last 8 days and to know that in
his future, what he does won't and really CAN'T matter in the quote-unquote
Overall Scheme of Things, is -- well, I'm just really upset.

The game itself, though, is something else, and much of my upsetness is tied
into the fact that I am graduating tomorrow.  I've been so close with most
of you for the last week, and now I will probably never see you again.  I 
feel that a large part of my own potential is being ripped away, and I just
wanted to thank everyone who allowed me this final fling.  For those of you
who understand, I feel much like Hoi Mon did when Hair ended.  I'd especially
like to thank Rob the ex-High Priest, Tami the Queeeeen,  Lang of Air and
Heidi of Spirit, Kristin the new Marshall of Thriff, Donna the Head Ref, and
of course John the Normacle and Drea, the Echohawk, with whom I had extensive
dealings (either for or against) for helping Nathan grow a little out of his
bad temperament.  And also, Dave, Brad, and Chris for giving me this oppor-
tunity to play, in my probably last live-action game, a character who I could
really get into, and come to love (in his own way).  I'll miss Nathan, I'll
miss you all (especially those of you who I didn't get to know well but really
wish I could have), and, of course, I'll miss Huey.

You people are wonderful.  Thank you.
--Saul, ex-Emir of Fire, now High Priest of Banthrogf.

J'Hofo blesses you all.