Resent-Date: Mon, 15 Jan 2001 16:39:34 -0500
Date: Mon, 15 Jan 2001 16:39:04 -0500
Message-Id: <200101152139.QAA10115@apocalypse.org>
From: Liz Manicatide <lizm@apocalypse.org>
To: elbow-joints@haven.org
Subject: [This Old Haunted House]
Resent-Message-Id: <"EK09f1.0.QV.LusOw"@opal.haven.org>
Resent-From: elbow-joints@haven.org
Precedence: list
Resent-Sender: elbow-joints-request@haven.org


i think I'me being reminded of an old Saturday Night Live sketch:

Bob: "Here in this room you see the north wall is oozing blood, a common
problem in haunted houses of this era. Norm, what are we planning to do 
about this?"

Norm: "Well, what we'll have to do is shim out from the existing wall
surface and add another layer of drywall, that way we the blood won't 
come through to the top layer and we can have a nice paint surface matching
the other walls."

Bob (stepping into living room): "In this room we see a gaping, charred
hole in the floor, with flames and writhing demons issuing forth. Norm,
what can you tell me about it?"

Norm: "This is a classic "Hell Hole". We can't really do much to close it
up, but what we can do is build a nice tile hearth and mantel around it, 
which will create a focus for the room and make the most of its natural
character."


Reprinted without permission from the void:

------- Start of forwarded message -------
Date: Mon, 15 Jan 2001 15:57:32 -0500 (EST)
To: screaming into the <void@apocalypse.org>
Subject: the house knows
Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII

A household full of strife.
This house has not been filled with happiness. 
This house has been filled with stress and dissention 
and strained human relations.
Hatred and bitterness and loathing.
Trying and trying to correct the situation.
Stubborness and cruelty and harsh words spoken loudly.
One nervous breakdown later.
IT is still in our household.
We can't seem to get rid of it.
The house is tired of it's head full of anger
The walls are bleeding from this negative energy.
Sometime in the wee hours of Saturday morning, when most of the humans
were out of the house,a benevolent mystical force stepped in to save the
house.

The boiler in the basement that heats our apartment ceased to function.
That same boiler in the basement that should have exploded... didn't.
The beloved housemate and my 2 beautiful cats that would have been killed
by the explosion.. are thankfully alive.
The "stuff" that fills the house was for the most part, unscathed.

All praise Carl, the Mystical Boiler Repairman.

The house is tired and needs help.
House's owner seems oblivious to her misery
We might have to abandon the house, and for that I feel sad.
I think she needs an exorcism, and a complete rehab.
A special 2 hour "This Old House" called "Exorcism, Egress, and
Engineering.. the Story of Sunset Haus"


=aMy
------- End of forwarded message -------

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