Path: bloom-picayune.mit.edu!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!americast.com!americast.com!americast-post Newsgroups: americast.twt.life From: americast-post@AmeriCast.Com Organization: American Cybercasting Approved: americast-post@AmeriCast.com Subject: Punch lines ease Cuba's tight pinch Date: Mon, 9 Nov 92 14:59:57 EST Message-ID: \SE D;LIFE \SS (WS) \HD Punch lines ease Cuba's tight pinch \BY Anita Snow \CR ASSOCIATED PRESS \DT HAVANA HAVANA - Plenty of political jokes are making the rounds as Cubans laugh to keep from crying in the worst economic crisis since Fidel Castro's revolution 33 years ago. In one gag, Cubans tell of a U.S. agent who visited Havana secretly and on his return to Washington made this report: "In Cuba, there's no unemployment, but nobody works. Nobody works, but they always fill their production goals. The production goals are met, but there's nothing in the stores. There's nothing in the stores, but the people have everything they need. "Everyone has everything they need, but they all complain. Everyone complains, but they all go to the Plaza of the Revolution to cheer President Fidel Castro. And then they go home to complain some more." Already squeezed by a 30-year-old U.S. trade embargo designed to pressure the communist government, Cuba has lost up to 85 percent of its trade and aid in the two years since communism collapsed in the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe. Petroleum and processed foods have been the most painful losses. Cubans have watched the shelves in government food stores become barer and lines for available items grow longer. They rarely eat red meat, and chicken is considered a delicacy. So is fresh milk. In response to the shortages, Castro's government has declared wartimelike economic measures for this "special period in time of peace." More items than ever are rationed, including bread. Water service to residential areas is rationed along with electrical power, which requires oil to generate. Daily brownouts of three to four hours are normal. Thousands of scientists, journalists and other professionals have been furloughed as a means of saving electricity. They receive 70 percent of their usual salaries, and instead of producing something, they sit around complaining about the economic crisis and speculating on Castro's future. And telling jokes. In a society where dissent can be a crime, humor has become a way to express unhappiness with Cuba's political and economic system without openly criticizing the government. Even in their own homes, people tell the jokes in hushed tones with a peek or two over the shoulder, especially when the tales deal with the man they refer to simply as "El" - Castro. In one popular story, Castro and his brother Raul, the defense minister, are alone in an office. "Oh, my God!" the younger brother exclaims. Castro scolds him: "I told you, Raul, you don't have to call me that when we're alone!" Other jokes deal with predictions of Castro's fall and with how bad things will have to get before that happens. One tells of President Bush and Mikhail Gorbachev holding a reunion in 2020 to reminisce about the Cold War. Mr. Bush asks Mr. Gorbachev: "What ever happened to that little island of Cuba and Fidel Castro, who gave us so much trouble?" "I don't know," Mr. Gorbachev replies. "Let's visit the island now and find out." They find Havana overgrown with trees and vines. The only sign of human life is a Cuban, dressed in a loincloth, striking two stones together to start a fire. "If these stones don't spark," he says, "this government is surely going to fall." On the food crisis, "50 percent Cuban, 50 percent soybean" is a one-liner slamming both the national slogan "100 percent Cuban" and the increasing use of soybeans in government-supplied food. A more cynical story goes: "Before the revolution, the signs at the Havana Zoo read: 'Don't feed the animals.' Later, they were replaced with signs that read: 'Don't take food from the animals.' Now the signs say: 'Don't eat the animals.'" This article is copyright 1992 The Washington Times. Redistribution to other sites is not permitted except by arrangement with American Cybercasting Corporation. For more information, send-email to usa@AmeriCast.COM