Path: bloom-picayune.mit.edu!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!americast.com!americast.com!americast-post Newsgroups: americast.twt.life From: americast-post@AmeriCast.Com Organization: American Cybercasting Approved: americast-post@AmeriCast.com Subject: Brief notes on playing with Defeat Date: Wed, 18 Nov 92 16:10:35 EST Message-ID: \SE E;LIFE \HD Brief notes on playing with Defeat \BY Anne Gowen \CR THE WASHINGTON TIMES MEMO To: Prez for Now Re: Today's Talk with Prez-Elect Well, this is it, Mr. President. Today brings the first big sign of the changing of the guard: Your first face-to-face, sit-down chat. Open up the door of the Oval Office and Defeat enters. Defeat, that is, wearing a bad yellow-gray coif, toting a saxophone. Buck up, Poppy. You can do it. Now's the time to show some of your legendary Texan/New England/Beltway charm. And here's a few helpful tips for showing Your Guest - the "successful" governor of a small state - how the big boys do it: TOPICS GOOD * The Rose Garden. Mention the rats if you like, for fun. Wickedly recount Barbara's swimming pool scare. Don't say: "In the springtime, all those flowers! Sure is hard on the allergies." Sniffle. * Fishing. This is a good one to bring up when Your Guest gets that laser-beam look in his eye. Some tip-off buzzwords: "policy," "transition," "smoothly." Hear these. Ignore these. Tilt back your chair, scratch your belly and fall into a reverie about last week's snook-trolling jaunt in Florida. TOPICS BAAAAD * Foreign policy. Don't fidget or play with items on your desk. This means games with the Hotline are out. No grabbing the receiver, saying "Hello" in the wrong end and "It's for you!" No holding the phone out to Your Guest, cackling and saying "Sad-damn on the line! Hee hee hee." Avoid spinning your Rolodex. Don't call attention to it. Don't say, "Gosh, wouldja lookit the size of this thing? I don't know how we're gonna get it to Houston. Probably have to order a special packing crate." Better to just leave it helpfully open to Boris Yeltsin's home number, placed far enough away to avoid upside-down reading. PHOTO-OP Wear a fun tie. Something with fruit on it, perhaps. Or small pink farm animals. Show 'em you still got it. Why be cautious now? Try not to grimace/answer/make faces when UPI's Helen Thomas calls Your Guest "Mr. President." REFRESHMENTS Be careful of slip-ups, tongue tumbles. Do not accidentally say, "How about a beer, Mr. Carter, er, Billy?" Pork rinds probably would be a nice snack treat for Your Guest. Or takeout Wendy's chili. MAKE IT THROUGH THE RAIN/ CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN MANTRA Think Berlin Wall. Desert Storm. Leader of the Free World. Did a lot, doggone it. Not gonna be undone now by some Bubba just off the bus. No way. Not gonna happen. Smile. Make a cute joke about the grandkids and "the grandfather business." It'll play well on the network news (as if you cared anymore). Say to yourself: Don't cry for me, Argentina. This article is copyright 1992 The Washington Times. Redistribution to other sites is not permitted except by arrangement with American Cybercasting Corporation. For more information, send-email to usa@AmeriCast.COM