Path: bloom-picayune.mit.edu!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!americast.com!americast.com!americast-post Newsgroups: americast.twt.life From: americast-post@AmeriCast.Com Organization: American Cybercasting Approved: americast-post@AmeriCast.com Subject: High-class attitude can get results Date: Thu, 29 Oct 92 14:38:17 EST Message-ID: \SE E;LIFE;WAY OF LIFE;DRESS FOR SUCCESS \SS (WS) \HD High-class attitude can get results \BY John T. Molloy \CR LOS ANGELES TIMES SYNIDICATE Dear Mr. Molloy: The other day I was invited to a party at the company president's home. He asked me to go to the supermarket with him - he was running out of seltzer and white wine and needed a hand. What amazed me was the way he was treated. When we arrived he asked the manager where the wine was. The man stopped what he was doing and walked him to the right aisle. When he got there he answered questions about the wine and ended by volunteering to help him carry his purchase to the counter. My boss had not taken a cart. He seemed to go through the checkout line like everybody else, but as we left, the checkout clerk said "Thank you, sir" and followed that up with "Have a very nice day, sir." She obviously was impressed by him. It could not be his clothing, we were both wearing casual clothing. I had been with him before and seen him impress people, but I always thought it was his expensive clothing, his title, etc., but not this time. Through my entire life of shopping at supermarkets, no one ever fawned over me that way. When I commented to him in the car that the woman must have known him, he said, "No, I have never been in that supermarket in my life." I was amazed. I am wondering if there are any nonverbal or verbal signals you can send other than clothing to impress people with your authority. He obviously knows them and I don't, and neither do most of your readers. - P.L., Washington. Dear P.L.: Getting people to respond to you that way is a teachable skill. What you have to do is send the message that you are a very important person. How you do this most effectively will depend on a number of variables. If you are a big man with a very deep voice, it is far easier to be a high authority figure than it is for a small man with a high-pitched voice, and it is different for men than it is for women. But I can give you a few techniques that work for everyone. The first is to assume an authoritative attitude. Your tone of voice and phrasing must tell people that you are used to being obeyed. The most impressive people always seem to be giving orders while being very polite. When the clerk asked your boss what type of bag he wanted, his answer probably sounded like he was giving an order. When the clerk asks most people if they want paper or plastic, they answer as if they were in school and the clerk was the teacher. I suggest you practice, in front of a mirror, making simple requests sound like directions. Most who try these exercise are surprised by the way people treat them after just a few practice sessions. Appearing upper class also will add to your importance. Whether the people you deal with are upper-class or not doesn't make any difference. Your clothing must look upper class. Your boss probably was wearing expensive shorts and an expensive shirt. Of course, your speech patterns must be upper class. Most important people are upper class and speak more slowly and clearly that people from limited backgrounds. They also are more likely to speak in complete sentences and phrases, and they are very polite. Finally, most natural leaders have upper-class body language. Correct posture varies depending on the size, appearance and sex of the person, but all hold their facial muscles in a similar manner. In America, the way we hold our facial muscles is an indicator of our backgrounds. Upper-class people literally hold their noses in the air because they hold their heads erect with a softer, gentler more refined expression on their faces. I have been teaching executive style for almost 20 years, and what we are talking about here is really one aspect of that training. While experience has taught me that sending the right signals is the key to becoming a high authority figure, it also has taught me that only 20 percent of those who try can accomplish this by acting. The method that works best is living the part. Start by thinking of yourself as the president of a company worth $100 million. How would you act, how would you think, how would you feel? Within reasonable limits, adopt that lifestyle. The next time you go to a supermarket, play the part. Once you do, you will find yourself giving orders and making requests in a slightly different style. This article is copyright 1992 The Washington Times. Redistribution to other sites is not permitted except by arrangement with American Cybercasting Corporation. For more information, send-email to usa@AmeriCast.COM