Path: bloom-picayune.mit.edu!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!americast.com!americast.com!americast-post Newsgroups: americast.twt.news From: americast-post@AmeriCast.Com Organization: American Cybercasting Approved: americast-post@AmeriCast.com Subject: English abroad: Something lost in translation Date: Sun, 22 Nov 92 17:26:45 EST Message-ID: \SE A \SS (WS) \HD English abroad: Something lost in translation \BY Paul Ames \CR ASSOCIATED PRESS \DT BRUSSELS BRUSSELS - It's enough to make a grammarian groan. The European Community, no stranger to tortured language, has collected some of the worst abuses of the queen's English from around the world. Take the Paris hotel that told guests, "Please leave your values at the desk." Or the Bangkok dry cleaner's boast: "Drop your trousers here for best results." And what did an Austrian ski resort mean when it urged guests "not to preambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension"? Dozens of such doozies have been compiled by traveling EC translators since July, when they were asked to look for examples of odd English. Others were taken from published collections. Under the title "Mind Your Language," the fractured phrases are displayed on boards in the lobbies of the EC's Centre Borschette office complex. The EC's compilation of linguistic lulus shows English is spoken widely but not always well. An Acapulco hotel reassured guests about the drinking water: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here." A Tokyo hotel advised guests that it "is forbidden to steal hotel towels please," but politely added, "If you are not a person to do such thing, please not to read notice." Another Tokyo hotel, seemingly more relaxed about morals, said, "You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid." But a sign at a German campsite warned: "It is strictly forbidden on our campsite that people of different sex, for instance men and women, live together in one tent, unless they are married with each other for that purpose." A Zurich hotel with similar worries offered this solution: "Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose." A temple in Bangkok warned tourists, "It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner, if dressed as a man." In Paris, a boutique advertised "dresses for street walking." A notice in a Norwegian cocktail lounge said, "Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar." A Rome doctor specialized in "women and other diseases," and a Swedish furrier offered coats "made for ladies from their own skin." A Prague tourist agency urged tourists: "Take one of our horse-driven city tours. We guarantee no miscarriages." In Tokyo, a car-rental agency offered these instructions to clients: "When passenger of foot heave into sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor." For people suffering toothaches in Hong Kong, a dentist advertised tooth extractions "using the latest Methodists." A tailor on the Greek island of Rhodes couldn't guarantee he would finish summer suits ordered by tourists. Why? "Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation." A sign in a zoo in Budapest showed times are tough in Eastern Europe. "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty." Also in the Hungarian capital is a hotel that once had elevator problems and told guests: "The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable." And if you thought flying was fun, go to the Copenhagen airport, where an airline vowed to "take your bags and send them in all directions." This article is copyright 1992 The Washington Times. Redistribution to other sites is not permitted except by arrangement with American Cybercasting Corporation. For more information, send-email to usa@AmeriCast.COM