Path: bloom-picayune.mit.edu!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!americast.com!americast.com!americast-post Newsgroups: americast.twt.news From: americast-post@AmeriCast.Com Organization: American Cybercasting Approved: americast-post@AmeriCast.com Subject: Ulster group helps bereaved spouses Date: Tue, 27 Oct 92 13:27:07 EST Message-ID: \SE A;WORLD \SS (WS) \HD Ulster group helps bereaved spouses \BY Paul Majendie \CR REUTERS NEWS AGENCY \DT BELFAST BELFAST - For the widows of Northern Ireland, the nightmare never ends. Each new killing in the conflict revives harrowing memories. A new support group for the bereaved is just getting under way. Its 17 members include only one man. WAVE, or Widows/Widowers Against Violence Empower, helps them come to terms with their loss. It was set up by Catholic nun Marie McNeice, Presbyterian Minister Lesley Carroll and Catholic Christian Brother Gerard Kearney in a downtown Belfast office where the bereaved meet twice a month. Seeking to break down sectarian barriers, WAVE is in sharp contrast to the support groups set up by the Irish Republican Army and Protestant extremists who provide money to widows and orphans of gunmen, adding to their state welfare payments. Extremists on both sides also run aid groups for the families of activists jailed for bombings and shootings. Community peace groups with no extremist links seek to foster understanding at a grass-roots level, while organizations such as FAIT (Families Against Intimidation and Terrorism) speak out against punitive "kneecap" shootings by extremists. Explaining WAVE's approach, Mr. Carroll said: "We write to every widow in the conflict as each murder sadly takes place. They are invited to get in touch. We do not contact them straightaway. We leave it two to three months. "Many of them expressed a desire for no retaliation. They share their fears, they are all in the same boat. The widows range from those widowed 18 years ago to as recently as a year ago. "They have all been sectarian murders, some by Protestants, some by the [Republican splinter group] Irish People's Liberation Organization." "It takes a while for them to come forward. Our members - we have 17 at the moment - are generally aged from 40 to 60. When another murder happens, it brings it all back for these women and it is quite traumatic. With every killing, they relive the whole trauma. The nightmare lives on from day to day." More than 3,000 people have died in the IRA's battle to oust Britain from Northern Ireland, a war that seeps into every corner of Protestant and Catholic society. Brother Kearney said the widows "feel less like voices in the wilderness when they come together. They also have a common bond - none of them is looking for retaliation. They all feel this should not happen to anyone else. They should never have to bear the pain they are bearing." The trio are soft-spoken and earnest. Brother Kearney said: "The policeman's wife and the IRA gunman's wife are both suffering the same grief." Sister McNeice added: "The greatest battle we have to fight is against cynicism and apathy. "It is vital to overcome this sense of futility. A lot of the widows would recognize that their husbands' deaths were in vain." This article is copyright 1992 The Washington Times. Redistribution to other sites is not permitted except by arrangement with American Cybercasting Corporation. For more information, send-email to usa@AmeriCast.COM