Path: bloom-picayune.mit.edu!snorkelwacker.mit.edu!americast.com!americast.com!americast-post Newsgroups: americast.wpost From: americast-post@AmeriCast.Com Organization: American Cybercasting Approved: americast-post@AmeriCast.com Subject: Dear Bill: Chill=BY MARY McGRORY= Date: Sun, 8 Nov 92 09:22:42 EST Message-ID: <15.1992Nov8.092243@AmeriCast.com> Dear Bill: Chill=BY MARY McGRORY= DEAR MR. President-elect:< Yes, I know you told Ted Koppel, when he asked what to call you, that you thought "governor" was still good. But if you were just a governor, I wouldn't be sending you my two cents' worth of un- solicited advice. I lose my license if I don't tell you what to do as you head for the Oval Office. I'll be brief. I have three words for you: Take a vacation. At least a week. Do nothing. Sleep late, have breakfast in bed. Walk, don't jog. Take naps. Get that bone-weariness out of you. You'll do a better job if you do. Presidents who end their honey- moons with crashing mistakes are often still exhausted. Remember the Bay of Pigs. Read. Not policy papers, please. No plans. Read "Plutarch's Lives." Harry Truman did and, while we can never be sure, it may have been the source of the extraordinary perspective he always kept on his identity and his office. The "Lives" are all about power - the getting and losing of it. Plutarch is also a great gossip, so it's fun and it's not about the campaign. Read poetry. "The Oxford Book of English Verse" would be ap- propriate. If you don't mind my saying so, your speeches could use a little music. Poets are deeply into distillation, and you could use quite a bit of that. During your acceptance speech in front of that gorgeously plain Old State Capitol, some of us feared that you were going to give us your whole stump rap again. Try composing bumper stickers in your head. You should take much satisfaction, by the way, in your victory celebration. It was great. That multitude singing patriotic songs had a wonderful time. It was so much better than listening to warm-up speakers. Maybe you could think about getting minstrels to travel with you. Consider it. Wherever you go, you'll have to take the Gores with you. The country loves seeing you two together - even more, the four of you. Nobody knows just why. Maybe it's because the Gores are so delighted to be there. You saw them at the celebration; they rushed to the edge of the platform, giving their Secret Service heart palpitations, and almost dived into the crowd. Maybe it's Tipper. That woman radiates more cheerfulness than an open fire. You've noticed it? You're the first president we ever saw who shared his glory with his vice president. Was Lyndon Johnson at Hyannisport? Shows you have a low paranoia count. Good sign. You should take Al Gore with you up to the Hill. He'll show you around, help break the gridlock. Plan to go once a week. They'll think you're one of them. They won't want their constituents to think that they are refusing to cooperate. Swamp them. Make Congress your gym. Take Hillary and Tipper with you. Bring your lunch. Don't choke on the transition. You'll be sending signals by the people you choose for the Cabinet - maybe you should just appoint your campaign team - but you are in charge. Let's get away from the "it's his personal opinion" dodge from presidents, as in the last 12 years, whenever some mad appointee offered to sell the Mississippi River or the Constitution. By the way, the Arkansas River is quite pretty as it flows through your home town. From the campaign rhetoric of the other side, many visitors expected to see a sea of waste and maybe mudhuts on Main Street. The na- tives were friendly, not churls bearing the scars of what your opponent called misrule. Don't brood about him, by the way. He was your friend in the end. Ask your campaign manager, David Wilhelm. Hundreds of voters called in to protest the president's calling you a "bozo" and your partner "Ozone." Think, as you unwind, of the things you learned in your odyssey, the odd trivia-quiz information. For instance, I discovered that Tampa is the lightning capital of the world right when it was do- ing its stuff during a tornado and debris from a trailer park was flying past the press bus. Did you catch the little nest of royalists in Oshkosh? I was traveling with a British colleague, Tony Howard, and he ventured to the fence to do some voter interviewing, but when they heard his voice they set upon him for cruelty to Fergie, whom they had seen on a documentary the night before. "You're too hard on her," they shrieked. "Tell the queen to let up." Tony said politely, "I'll have a word with her the next time I see her." While your mind is on idle, you might want to browse through your chutzpah file. Maybe you'll give the gold to Virginia Gov. Doug- las Wilder. You couldn't miss him at your celebration - he was in the first seat in the first row, right next to your mother and your brother. Anyone else who had hinted his availability for No. 2 on a Perot ticket might have thought twice about his credentials, but this is what separates the men from the boys in Gallville. Enjoy.< Mary McGrory is a Washington Post columnist.<02:16 11-08C9999--- -- Copyright 1992, The Washington Post. This story is from the Washington Post's Capitol Edition On-Line and is not to be ar- chived or redistributed. For more information, send-email to American Cybercasting Cor- poration (usa@AmeriCast.COM)