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\centerline{Abort, Retry, Ignore}
\line{\hss (parodist unknown, but Walt Howe brought it to light)}
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\obeylines
 Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
 System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
 Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,
 Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets:
 Having reached the bottom line,
 I took a floppy from the stand.
 Typing with a steady hand,  I then invoked the SAVE command
 But came instead a reprimand: it read ``Abort, Retry, Ignore''.
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 Was this some occult illusion?  Some maniacal intrusion?
 These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
 Carefully, I weighed my options.
 These three seemed to be the top ones.
 Clearly, I must now adopt one---
 Choose : ``Abort, Retry, Ignore''.
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 With my fingers pale and trembling,
 Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
 Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
 Praying for some guarantee
 Finally I pressed a key---
 But on the screen what did I see?
 Again: ``Abort, Retry, Ignore''.
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 I tried to catch the chips off-guard---
 I pressed again, but twice as hard.
 Luck was just not in the cards,
 I saw what I had seen before.
 Now I typed in desperation,
 Trying random combinations.
 Still there came the incantation---
 Choose: ``Abort, Retry, Ignore''.
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 There I sat, distraught, exhausted,  by my own machine accosted;
 Getting up, I turned away and paced across the office floor.
 And then I saw an awful sight,
 A bold and blinding flash of light,
 A lightning bolt that cut the night and shook me to my very core.
 The PC screen collapsed and died,
 ``Oh no--- my file'', I loudly cried.
 I thought I heard a voice reply,
 ``You shall see your data--- Nevermore!''
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 To this day I do not know
 The place to which our data goes
 Perhaps it goes to Heaven where the angels have it stored.
 But as for my spreadsheet, though of Norton I implored,
 I fear it has gone straight to Hell.
 And that's the tale I have to tell.
 I faced the choice: ``Abort, Retry, Ignore''
 I faced this choice without a backup
 now it seems that I shall crackup
 and my soul from out the darkness that now fills my monitor
 Shall be lifted--- nevermore !

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