Schroedinger's cat's a mystery cat, he illustrates the laws;
The complicated things he does have no apparent cause.
He baffles the determinist, and drives him to despair,
For when they try to pin him down, //the quantum cat's not there!//

Schroedinger's cat's a mystery cat, he's given to random decisions;
His mass is slightly altered by a cloud of virtual kittens.
The vacuum fluctuations print his traces in the air,
But if you try to find him, //the quantum cat's not there!//

Schroedinger's cat's a mystery cat, he's very small and light,
And if you try to pen him in, he tunnels out of sight.
So when the cruel scientist confined him in a box
With poison-capsules, triggered by bizzare atomic clocks,
He wasn't alive, he wasn't dead, or half of each: I swear
That when they fixed his eigenstate, //he simply wasn't there!//

- John Lowell
  Old Possum's Book of Quantum Vivisection
  Physics Today, April 1989