WHAT'S YOUR IQ on the Ronnie Geller Memorial Immorality Quotient scale? (This was distribited to all students at Reed College in 1982.) First, everyone's favorite: SEX 1. How many toys do you have? a. Dildo ___ 5 points b. Vibrator ___ 5 points c. Whip ___ 5 points d. Vaseline on your bedstand ___ 5 points e. Ben-Wa balls ___ 5 points f. Garter belts ___ 5 points g. Strap-on dildo 1. if you are female ___ 10 points 2. if you are male ___-10 points h. Manacles or handcuffs ___ 5 points per set i. Waterbed ___ 5 points j. Mirrors on ceiling ___ 5 points k. Pulley on ceiling ___ 5 points l. Leather or rubber panties ___ 5 points m. Cock ring ___ 5 points n. Life-sized rubber doll ___ 10 points 2. How many orgasms do you have in an average week? ___ 1 point each 3. Have you ever spent more than eight hours in one session? ___ 5 points 4. Have you ever had sex with someone a. with a 10 year age difference? ___ 5 points b. with 20 or more years difference? ___ 20 points 5. Have you done it with: a. a fruit or vegetable? ___ 5 points b. a vacuum cleaner? ___ 10 points c. an animal? ___ 25 points d. a horse or larger? ___ 50 points 6. Have you ever been a prostitute? (male or female) ___ 50 points 7. Have you ever had sex with a prostitute? ___ 15 points 8. Have you had sex with two people at once? ___ 15 points a. Add five points for each additional person. ___ 5 points each b.involving homosexual acts? ___ 5 points 9. Have you had sex with more than two people in one day? ___ 10 points 10.Have you had more than a. ten lovers? ___ 5 points b. Twenty? ___ 5 more points c. Thirty? ___ 10 more points d. Who counts after thirty? ___ 10 more points 11. Have you ever been into necrophilia? ___100 points 12. a. Ever had sex involving bondage? ___ 5 points b. More than twice? ___ Add 10 more c. Whips? ___ 10 points d. Blood? ___ 25 points 13. Incest? ___ 15 points 14. a. Ever had sex involving enemas? ___ 5 points b. Urine drinking? ___ 20 points c. Feces tasting? ___ 25 points 15. a. Ever tongued the nether orifice? ___ 5 points b. Your own? ___150 points c. Auto-fellatio or auto-cunnilingus? 1. Male ___ 75 points 2. Female ___100 points 16. More concerning Oral Sex: a. given to opposite sex? ___ 5 points b. given to the same sex? ___ 10 points c. received from opposite sex? ___ 5 points d. received from same sex? ___ 10 points e. given to a women during her period? ___ 10 points 1. if you are a woman ___ 5 more points 17. Anal Sex: a. received? ___ 15 points b. given? 1. if you are male ___ 15 points 2. if you are female ___ 30 points 18. a. Have you ever had sex within one hour of meeting him or her? (not including prostitutes)? ___ 25 points b. 24 hours? ___ 10 points 19. Been filmed or in front of an audience? ___ 25 points 20. How many pregnancies have you been involved in? ___ -5 each 21. Lest we forget? a. crabs? ___ 5 points each time b. scabies? ___ 5 points each time c. syphilis? ___ 15 points each time d. clap? ___ 10 points each time e. venereal warts? ___ 5 points each time f. herpes? ___ 15 points SEX subtotal ___ points Ok, next: DRUGS 1. Regular use of tobacco? ___ 5 points 2. Ever use alcohol? ___ Who hasn't? 3. Pot? ___ 10 points 4. Chewing tobacco? ___ 5 points 5. LSD? ___ 15 points 6. Bromo-mescaline? ___ 20 points 7. Peyote? ___ 15 points 8. Mushrooms? ___ 15 points 9. N-methyl? ___ 15 points 10. DPT? ___ 10 points 11. MET? ___ 10 points 12. DMT? ___ 15 points 13. STP? ___ 15 points 14. Crystal meth? ___ 15 points 15. Other ups? ___ 15 points 16. Seconal? ___ 10 points 17. Valium? ___ 10 points 18. Other downs? ___ 15 points 19. Nitrous Oxide? ___ 10 points 20. Amyl nitrate? ___ 10 points 21. Gasoline? ___-10 points 22. Glue? ___-10 points 23. a. PCP once? ___ 15 points b. PCP more than once? ___-15 points 24. Quaaludes? ___ 10 points 25. Morphine? ___ 10 points 26. Opium? ___ 15 points 27. MDA? ___ 20 points 28. a. Heroin? ___-10 points b. injected? ___-20 points 29. a. Cocaine? ___ 15 points b. free based ___ 20 points c. injected ___ 25 points 30. Combinations: a. two ___ 20 points b. three or four ___ 30 points c. five or more ___ 50 points 31. Abuser rehabilitation program? ___ 20 points 32. Ever been a drug dealer? ___ 15 points b. regular dealer? ___ Add 10 points c. importer? ___ Add 20 points 33. Synthesize own? ___ 25 points 34. Drugged unknowing person? ___-20 points DRUGS subtotal ___ points MISCELLANEOUS 1. Ever been arrested? ___ 10 points each time 2. Overnight in jail? ___ 15 points each time 3. Served time? a. over 7 days ___ 30 points each time b. State or Fed ___ 75 points each time c. Funny farm ___ 20 points each time 4. Drop out of college? ___ 5 points each time 5. Flunk out? ___ 10 points each time 6. Religious conversion? ___ 5 points each time 7. Animal sacrifice? ___ 20 points 8. Human sacrifice? ___ YOU WIN! 9. Black Mass? ___ 10 points 10. Cannibalism? ___100 points 11. Altar in your room? ___ 5 points 12. Have you ever eaten one or more pounds of chocolate at a sitting? ___ 5 points 13. Member of Communist or Socialist Organization? ___ 5 points 14. Committed major crime other than previously listed: a. state? ___ 10 points b. federal? ___ 15 points c. international? ___ 50 points 15. Listen to Rock and Roll? ___ 0 points MISC subtotal ___ points + SEX subtotal ___ points + DRUG subtotal ___ points = TOTAL ___ POINTS Add 10% if you are under eighteen Add 20% if you are under fifteen Add 50% if you are under ten TOTAL ___ POINTS