Message-Id: <200202062010.PAA04340@scrubbing-bubbles.mit.edu>
To: nutso-flaming-pikans@MIT.EDU
Subject: cigarettes are bad?
Date: Wed, 06 Feb 2002 15:10:27 -0500
From: Arjun Mendiratta <arjunm@MIT.EDU>

this is weird.

-arjun
------- Forwarded Message
From: Ted Moallem <tedathon@yahoo.com>
Date: Wed, 6 Feb 2002 11:45:13 -0800 (PST)
Subject: [no2wef] JUST HUMOR ME. READ.

by the way, this is going to the New York Times editor
too.  He probably won't read it, but he might choose
to "save" it, or "distribute" it, and might also
choose to do the same with any response.  If you take
him (or her?) off you're response, and he/she has an
advanced degree of some sort, maybe they can figure
out how to get onto some of our email lists.  it is
kind of funny to think that this might put an NYTimes
editor on the same NYPD/FBI/SOB lists that we are
probably on.  And I imagine that it is hard to get off
these lists, even if you are the letters editor for a
major publication on the terrifying verge of willfully
transforming itself into a repressive government
propaganda machine.

Now, onto the show...

Do you smoke Marlboro Mediums?  Cool, me too!  Can I
bum a smoke?

Marlboro and Camel smokers, (for the moment, let's
pretend this is not relevant to anyone else).

I have just run out of cigarettes.  I tore off the
front of the pack, with the nice perty logo on it,
opened up the top (cause there's the logo again, plus
there's a little flap that reads "underage sale
prohibitted", and i didn't feel right tearing that off
my pack of marlboros).  Anyway, I now have a nice,
flat advertising surface.  I can't imaging the Phil
Morris objects so far.  This next part will get him.

I took out a red marker (which I never carry with me
on buses or trains or into PUBLIC bathrooms) and I
wrote the word MURDER in caps on the white part just
above the word Marlboro.  The word Marlboro still has
a cooler font, but I don't think that's the word which
has brought a smirk to the faces of about 10 smokers
and non-smokers since I started this about 25 minutes
ago.  I then took out my blue pen (which I
occasionally bring on the subway, but only sealed up
with duct tape and buried at the bottom of my bag),
and I wrote the word MURDER again on the red part of
the front of the pack, coincidentally, just above the
word MURDER written in red.  Then I pinned the adapted
Marlboro advertisement to my shirt, cleary visible,
and I walked into I nice massive drug store, that
among either hygeine items and prescription
medications, also has a wide assortment of cigarettes,
beautifuly displayed both in the window and at several
locations within the store, both at my eye level, and
at...well, my penis's eye level, had it been poking
out to look, which it was NOT.  And that's probably a
good thing cause there was a family standing next to
me on line, and the two small children in this family
happen to share an eye level with some of the more
racy of my 2000 parts.

To make a long story just a bit longer, I bought some
Marlboro Mediums (and yes, you may bum one, or two, or
six, even if it means I end up paying $5.25 to smoke
three cigarettes, cause I just can't go on getting
upset at people for offering to take a little cancer,
and emphysema, and heart disease, and a few moments of
my ritual early morning phlegm fest, off my hands). 
But wait, it gets worse (if you are sensitive, or make
money off of other people's suffering, please tune out
NOW).

I then went outside the store, walked up to the first
local-looking person I saw (who was not wearing a
badge), and I said to them:

"Hi.  Would you be completely astonished if I told you
that there are people in that store, who are
responsible for the cold-blooded murder of my friend's
granfather?"

I didn't mention that they had just helped to kill me
too.  And I DID PLAN CAREFULLY BEFORE I SPOKE.  You
see, I figure that if [place name of major
cancer-pushing store here] decides to sue me for
slander, all I have to do is call up three of my new
friends from Denver, Colorado (my old friends are good
folks, but would have nothing to do with me once I
asked them to do what is coming up) and asked them to
walk around the immediate neighborhood, around this
store, or any of their franchise brothers who have
been in the neighborhood for more than 20 years
(given, this makes it a bit more difficult, but you
can easily target the bastards who have been there
longer, first-- they are not promoting a HEALTHY sense
of community).  And asked them to knock on doors and
talk to people, and find ONE person who knows of a
local old man that died recently of lung cancer.  

See where I'm going?  I am making the ASSUMPTION that
the grandson of this poor old man is, in fact, my
FRIEND, or will be as soon as I meet him.  Even if he
is not very FRIENDly, and is in fact downright sad and
troubled, and starting to show the first signs of
Peripheral Arterial Disease
(http://www.crnhomecare.com/html/new_page_11.htm),
meaning that, like his granfather before him, he might
soon lose some use of his hands and/or feet, I think
he will like me more than the major corporation that
is responsible for many of his problems.  In fact, I
think he stands to make a nice "profit" from joining
with all the other grandsons that you folks have found
in cities around the country, around the globe, and
filing a nice little class-action suit (or two).

Okay, I'm spent.

Love and ANGER.

T. Mordecai Moallem


crashtheparty@topica.com,no2wef@yahoogroups.com,      
globalizejustice@yahoogroups.com

sorry if you got this email twice.
       
 
__________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Send FREE Valentine eCards with Yahoo! Greetings!
http://greetings.yahoo.com

- ------------------------ Yahoo! Groups Sponsor ---------------------~-->
Get your FREE credit report with a FREE CreditCheck
Monitoring Service trial
http://us.click.yahoo.com/ACHqaB/bQ8CAA/ySSFAA/xYTolB/TM
- ---------------------------------------------------------------------~->

To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to:
no2wef-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

 
Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/ 


------- End of Forwarded Message