Unix Wizard (Concocted by Jamie Mason ----------- to 'Pinball Wizard' by The Who) Since I first logged in on Unix I sure have had a ball, From SunOS down to Minix I must have hacked 'em all But I ain't seen nothing like him In any terminal hall... That tired, squinting and blind kid Sure makes a mean system call! He sits like a statue, Becomes part of the machine, Feeling all the limits, Catching signals clean. Hacks by intuition The CPU counters fall, That tired, squinting and blind kid Sure makes a mean system call! He a Unix Wizard, I just can't get the gist A Unix wizards Brain's got such a twist How do you think he does it? I don't know! What makes him so good? Ain't got no distractions Don't hear those fire bells Don't see no lights a flashin' Ignores his sense of smell Patches a running kernel Dumps no core at all, That tired, squinting and blind kid Sure makes a mean system call! I thought I was The process table king, But I just handed My root password to him. Even on my favorite box, His hacks can beat my best. His Telnet leads him in, And he just does the rest. He's got crazy Finger servers Never seen him seg-fault... That tired, squinting and blind kid Sure makes a mean system call!