From morgan@engr.uky.edu Fri Sep 24 15:53:00 1993 Newsgroups: alt.folklore.computers From: morgan@engr.uky.edu (Wes Morgan) Subject: Re: Incompetent students (was: Incompetant user stories...) Nntp-Posting-Host: a.ecc.engr.uky.edu Organization: University of Kentucky College of Engineering, Lexington, KY USA Date: Tue, 21 Sep 1993 16:27:04 GMT >jes@grendel.demon.co.uk (Jim Segrave) writes: > >> Secondly, each student is handed some other student's submission with >> a change specification. The original author and the modifier are both >> graded on the success of the modified program. No, no, no...*here's* how it should be done: [ Lights up on university classroom. STUDENTS are lounging in their ] [ seats, chatting and passing the time. STUDENTS A AND B are actu- ] [ ally reading over their notes; the other STUDENTS ignore them com- ] [ pletely. PROFESSOR enters the room, with three ASSISTANTS carrying ] [ stacks of rectangular boxes. The STUDENTS fall silent as the PRO- ] [ FESSOR approaches the podium: ] PROFESSOR: Good morning. Today, we will be discussing code maintenance. [ STUDENTS groan, moan ad lib. ] STUDENT A: Isn't that what we've been doing all semester, sir? ASSISTANT 1: Right, kid, right... PROFESSOR: In a limited fashion, you are correct; however, we will be per- forming this task in a "real world" environment. STUDENT B: About time we did something real... PROFESSOR: I was recently cleaning out some old lab space, and I found these. [ PROFESSOR opens box ] [ SFX: dramatic "dum do DUMMMM!" from low brass instruments ] STUDENT A: Why, those are... STUDENT B: I've seen those before... STUDENT C: Yeah, those are note cards; my dad used those before Post-Its came out. PROFESSOR: Tsk...so young... No, class, these are punch cards. Also known as Hollerith cards, these were once the only means by which user programs could be loaded into the computer. Please, each of you take a box. [ ASSISTANTS laughingly distribute boxes to STUDENTS, who blow the dust ] [ away and open them. ] STUDENT A: Hey, what's "//MYPROG JOB"? STUDENT B: "//GO.SYSIN DD *"? STUDENT D: Great, I was going to go buy some Post-Its, but now... PROFESSOR: No, no, they aren't scrap paper...Look at them! STUDENT C: Hey, mine have FORTRAN on them! PROFESSOR: FORTRAN IV, to be precise... STUDENT F: Hey, what's ASMG? PROFESSOR: Oh, you're going to *enjoy* that one... STUDENT B: "ADD ONE TO X.".....looks kind of like BASIC, but dumber. PROFESSOR: Each of you has a code project from the early 1960s. In our scenario, our company has acquired the assets of an undervalued competitor; you have been tasked with bringing their computing "up to date." Unfortu- nately, the only source code available are these cards. Your task, therefore, is... STUDENT A: I don't like where this is going... STUDENT G: Hey, look, a snowstorm! PROFESSOR: to ascertain the function of these programs, recode them in your choice of FORTRAN 90, C, C++ or Ada, and use the original data cards for veri- fication of your work. STUDENT A: How are we supposed to figure this out from *cards*! Where's the docu- mentation? PROFESSOR: Ah, unfortunately, no one ever wrote documentation for these programs; you'll have to trace through them yourselves. STUDENT F: But we never learned this ASMG, whatever it is... PROFESSOR: Are *you* going tell your boss that? STUDENT G: Um...is the order of the cards important? PROFESSOR: Oh, my, yes -- most folks didn't put sequence numbers on their cards. STUDENT G: I need a drink... PROFESSOR: This will, of course, be due by Monday morning. I've found a card reader, but it's at another site... STUDENT A: Oh, over in Main Computing? PROFESSOR: No, actually it's at Weeble State; they're the only ones I could find who still had a card reader. STUDENT B: But that's a 2-hour drive! PROFESSOR: Remember, we're in the corporate world now! You have to get it done; do you think the boss cares about a 2-hour drive? Good luck, and I'll expect your programs Monday. You'll find the manuals for these 1960s programming languages in the Computer Science "Abandon All Hope" Collec- tion of the main library. [ STUDENTS sit numbly, rifling through their boxes and muttering... ] PROFESSOR: By the way, someone call 911; STUDENT G has apparently died of paper cuts...occupational hazard back then, you know... -- Wes Morgan ----- University of Kentucky ----- morgan@engr.uky.edu Mailing list for AT&T StarServer E/S admins - starserver-request@engr.uky.edu GCS/E/MU d--- -p+ c++ l+ m* s++/++ !g w+ t+ r gharshana-neti -- mental floss?