From doug@cc.ysu.edu Fri Aug 27 16:35:33 1993
Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet
From: doug@cc.ysu.edu (Doug Sewell)
Subject: [alt.config] Top 10 reasons I will not newgroup...
Followup-To: alt.humor.best-of-usenet.d
Organization: Youngstown State University
Date: Tue, 24 Aug 1993 03:54:12 GMT

Newsgroups: alt.config
From: Ken Weaverling (weave@apache.dtcc.edu)
Subject: Top 10 reasons I will not newgroup...
Date: 20 Aug 1993 06:07:55 -0400

Verily, verily, I say unto you....

I will not honour thou newgroup message if...

10) It is missing a 'For your newsgroup line' for it creates me work.
9)  Message contains no groveling to sys admin begging me to honour, for I
    am a nerd with no social life, and groveling makes me feel omnipotent.
8)  It was not blessed in alt.config
7)  Group will not contain anything useful to my users. Existing groups 
    are grandfathered else we would only be carrying about 5 groups.
6)  Group name contains more periods than the constitution of the United States
5)  Group makes any reference to dinosaurs, since it is claimed that they
    existed millions of years ago which is blasphemy since the planet is
    less than 6000 years old.
4)  Whose requestor has a sig that claims his hero is Ronald Reagan, since
    Reagan is a dinosaur and his age conflicts with reason (refer to 5)
3)  Whose requestor is not stricly symetrical in physical appearance, including
    ones who only wears earrings on one side, or whose dick bends to the 
    left or right when erect or who happens to have more snot in one nostril
    than the other or in the case of female requestors...
2)  Whose requestor's breasts do not meet the high standards defined by the
    wisest man on usenet, the godlet Tuan.
1)  The group is for any discussion of sex, since it has been a long time
    since I got any.

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