From simon@midland.co.nz Tue Dec 27 12:41:22 1994 From: Simon Lyall Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet Subject: [comp.unix.admin] UNIX Administrator Position in Pgh, PA Followup-To: alt.humor.best-of-usenet.d Date: 25 Dec 1994 06:14:37 GMT Organization: best of usenet humor NNTP-Posting-Host: herald.usask.ca X-Disclaimer: the "Approved" header verifies header information for article transmission and does not imply approval of content. See .sig below. X-Submissions-To: ahbou-sub@acpub.duke.edu Originator: sht123@herald.usask.ca From: peter@gol1.gol.com (Peter Evans) Newsgroups: comp.unix.admin,misc.jobs.offered Subject: [NOISE] Re: UNIX Administrator Position in Pgh, PA Organization: Cherry Valley Magic Highschool. Distribution: usa distribution fields don't work. sense of humour required. Frank P. Bresz }*{ wrote: >UNIX SYSTEMS ADMINISTRATOR [quiz time! Score 3 out of 10 and you can be a senior engineer in Japan! score less and you can be the chief senior system engineer!] >Please send your answers back to me over email and I will contact you >to set up an interview. >Questions for Unix Administrators: >Systems Questions : >o Explain the procedure to give an IBM/AIX machine it's name and IP address. 1 switch it on. 2 if it fails to boot, rip side off and examine pieces of expanded polystyrene that are bending the SCSI card into shape. 3 having booted the machine, get megaphone, stand in front 4 shout "Your hostname is 'inunofun' and your IP address is '192.100.1.13'." 5 drink throatocalypse, brandish whip, use gnome. 6 repeat step 4 until hoarse or machine sees the light. >o On a Sun Workstation explain where are the routing tables are set up and > what you would do to create a single default route. 1 shake a single 13 sided die, choose one of the files in the table below, delete it. does the route work? try again until it does. 1 /etc/hosts 2 /etc/passwd 3 /vmunix 4 /dev 5 /usr/etc/route 6 /etc/networks 7 /usr/openwin 9 /usr 10 /usr/etc/yp 11 /bin 12 /etc 14 / >o Do the same for HP, SGI, and IBM workstations. as above, only you need to use an axe to configure IBM's correctly. HP you just ask it nicely with the new OS 11.0, the SAM utility has been replaced by EGBERT. (Easy General Break Everything Really Thoroughly) tool. SGI, just do it. >o If you are running NIS(YP) and you place a new diskless workstation > (presume Sun) on the network and all you know is it's EtherNet (MAC > address). Explain what changes are necessary to get machine online. > Presume there are all things that the machine needs located > somewhere on the Net i.e. you do not have to load any new software. Never having had a diskless toy, I wouldn't know. I presume that you have to install a regrodulator on the server and configure the required 400M+ of swap space. then align the kharmic amplamator to point at the user of the new machine and switch it on, (remember to use hardware flow control) ... >o Explain precisely how the above machine manages to boot. i.e. list > all protocols used in the booting process. It's ART. An Absolutely Remarkable Thing. It sends out a little packet: NEW --> world "Tasukete kure!" world ... "Yada yo!" server .. "Oh, ok." sends a primary object link packet (Polyp) NEW --> server "Domo! Ore-sama dare da" server .. "Omae wa 'crouton'." sends secondary wedger (seaweed) crouton --> se "Waku*waku" server .. "Henna yatsu." sends tertiary kernel (thurkler) crouton is now a happy machine! >o For HP workstations what files must be modified to enable NIS and NFS. Ask Sam (Egbert) he knows. >o Where are the Kernel configuration files contained for : > o Sun SparcStation 2 > o Sun SparcStation 10 Depends whether your sparcstation is left or right handed. if left, then ... /sys/sun4c/conf if right then ... /usr/kvm/sys/sun4c/conf > o HP 9000/730 Ask Sam or Egbert, they know. > o IBM RS6000/580 Get the megaphone and shout at SMITty. > o SGI Crimson Its such a big box with so much space in that they could be anywhere ... >o Explain what you would do if a machine was consistently running out > of processes? PTYs? Virtual Memory? processes: shoot the user with a kill -19 PTYs: shoot him twice VM: add more memory and swap until you run out of disk or money. >o What commands would you use to move an entire directory from one > partition to another? From one machine to another? tar cfB - 1024 | (cd ; tar xfB - 1024) >& /vmunix unplug disk, move, plud disk in. don't upset the machines by swtiching them off first ... >o How do you boot a DECStation 3000 that has lost it's boot entry in > the EEPROM? Use a size 10 wellington boot. >o Explain the term: 'Stale NFS Handle'. You left the cover open on the NFS bin. The bread inside got so mouldly that it became sentient and left to start a new government in Italy. as a result, its not there when you go looking for it. >o Explain why NFS 'hangs' when a server is turned off/crashes. this is a feature. type man lynch or man posse to learn more. when the server vanishes with the loot, the rest of the boys form a posse and lie in wait for the loan arranger when he comes looking for the bad guy. they hold him captive until the server comes home and says he is sorry. because they are so busy lying in wait for the loan arranger, they are too busy to continue with day-to-day NFSing. >o Based on the following output what machines does my machine depend > on, and where is my home directory located. a thought to be extinct until recently prehistoric fish. >o What directories control USENET news? which ever ones you want. good choices are: /usr/lib/news /usr/local /usr/people/chocolate_cake /usr/users/chocolate_fudge_sundae /var/spool/news /usr/spool/nudes /usr/spool/gnus /etc/banana_splits >o Have you ever built X from the MIT distribution? Have you ever been accused of insanity? Why go to all the trouble of taking on the Level 11 R 6 monster from planet X when you can use the pre-installed phantasms from Motif/OpenWindoze. >o What are some of the differences between X, MOTIF, and OpenWindows? X is a single letter denoting the unknown. This is X too. Motif is what everyone uses to annoy people that dont have it. Openwindoze is related to X only harder to spell and slower to use. >o What is the name of the file that (dis)allows access to a machine > without entering a password? What is the difference for users and for root? .rhosts /etc/hosts.equiv root can delete users ... >o How do I gain (if I want to) root privs on a filesystem that is NFS mounted? you mount it correctly in the first place, you need to have /usr/hentai -access=fetish:ecchi,root=ecchi in /etc/exports. >Peripherals >o Machine A has printer named 'Partner'. Please show printcap entry > for a machine named B to access printer. this article is already noisy enough to get me flamed without tempting fate by actually writing something correct. >o Explain the relationship between SCSI targets and SCSI Disk IDs on a > Sun SparcStation. they are random; 3 --> 0 2 --> 1 1 --> 2 0 --> 3 4 --> 4 5 --> 5 6 --> 6 7 --> game over. >o Explain why idle backups are really and truly the only 'safe' backups. because its very hard to accurately back up the pitch when there are 25 people running around on it kicking a ball. what's a backup anyway? nobody does backups until they receive a message from God^H^H^Hroot "your disk was accidentally erased" >o Explain what process you would use to duplicate a disk. Both one of > the exact same brand, model, size, and geometry. And also 1 with > slightly larger partitions. Ah, now this is for the experts. cp -r works. ^_^; >o If you were given a 200MB drive to install what partition sizes > would you use and why. Presume no local user accessible storage is > needed and the disk will be placed on a machine with 32MB of > memory. 1 if this is a sun, you can only have SUNOS. 2 if this is any other workstation, throw it away. 2a if this is for OSF/1 on an AXP, laugh insanely too. 3 let it decide when you install the OS. >o Where does 'tip' keep it's lock files? >o What files control 'tip' port assignments? type man tip or man cu ... >o How would you boot a CDROM(SCSI target 6) on a SparcStation 1,2, 10, > Bonus - Sun Sparc 4/330? boot sd(0,6,2) boot cdrom meditate we dont buy suns anymore, not powerful enough. postulate we dont have one, nor have I seen one ... >User Questions: >o What files interact and in what way when you issue the 'openwin' > command on a Sun? A heavy sun bias here ... you type "openwin" the system has a hernia, it gets back to you shortly with "Japanese Openwindows 2" >o How (typically) is xdm different from this? its faster off the lights, carries less passengers and has no air-con or power-steering. >o How would a user define his/her default printer? setenv PRINTER "that little one over there near the HP 735" >o Explain why users can not always cut & paste between windows when > using X. because that window is in Japanese and this window is on another machine. >o How do you remove entries from a line printer queue? rm -rf /usr/spool/l* if that doesn't get it, rm -rf /var might. >o If you received a tarred/compressed/uuencoded file in the mail how > would you get the contents out? with a spoon. if you get one of those sun-extensions or nextmail, you send it straight back. >o What does the extension .Z mean on a file? .gz? .tar? .shar? .Z I am a zealot .gz I am a gnome religious officiary .tar I am sticky, cover me with feathers .shar I will share my cake if you will share your beer. >o What is 'archie' and what ports does it use? Gopher? WWW? Archie is the name of my goldfish when I was little. I never found out what happened to him, but he used to be friends with my cat. Gophers are not native to SHeffield. WWW means What a Waste of WWW resources. it is a way to use more to achieve less. This has been Peter ----* having some fun. if you lack a sense of humour, you should have killed this article long ago. -- o_u | Gag ari! SF ari! Bijo ari! Onsen ari! U \ Beh! | [half-male, half-email] -- Moderators accept or reject articles based solely on the criteria posted in the Frequently Asked Questions. Article content is the responsibility of the submittor. Submit articles to ahbou-sub@acpub.duke.edu. To write to the moderators, send mail to ahbou-mod@acpub.duke.edu.