From faber@loon.cs.wisc.edu Sun Feb 21 00:51:51 1993 Newsgroups: alt.culture.usenet,alt.quotations,news.future From: faber@loon.cs.wisc.edu (Ted) Subject: Re: Usenet is ... (was Re: The Usenet motto) Keywords: Collection Organization: U of Wisconsin Madison - Computer Sciences Date: Fri, 19 Feb 1993 17:07:43 GMT A quick pass through my voluminous quote file yielded the following gems on USENET and the Internet: "The basic notion underlying USENET is the flame." -- Chuq Von Rospach "Considering the flames and intolerance, shouldn't USENET be spelled ABUSENET?" --- Michael Meissner A good USENET motto would be: a. "Together, a strong community." b. "Computers R Us." c. "I'm sick of programming, I think I'll just fuck around for a while on company time." --- Anon. Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies: As a USENET discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one. Sircar's Corollary: If the USENET discussion touches on homosexuality or Heinlein, Nazis or Hitler are mentioned within three days. [Your propagation may vary.] "USENET is like Tetris for people who still remember how to read"--Joshua Heller "That is one of the Laws of USENET, up there with `You can tell when a USENET discussion is getting old when someone drags out Hitler and the Nazis.'" -- David Goldfarb "USENET is William Shatner and George Bush trading places after being hit by lightning." -- James 'Kibo' Parry "I must've seen it in a USENET posting; that's sort of like hearsay evidence from Richard Nixon..." -- Blair Houghton "That is not the USENET tradition, but it's a solidly-entrenched delusion now." -- brian@ucsd.Edu (Brian Kantor) "*However*, one thing on the Net is certain: there is someone willing to argue about any point." -- I don't know but I'll dispute any attribution "Imminent Death of the Net Predicted. GIFs at 11." -- Carl Rigney "It can be shown that for any nutty theory, beyond-the-fringe political view or strange religion there exists a proponent on the Net. The proof is left as an exercise for your kill-file." -- unattributed truth from r.g.frp "If addiction is judged by how long a dumb animal will sit pressing a lever to get a 'fix' of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude that netnews is far more addictive than cocaine." -- Rob Stampfli "I like having a machine called 'elvis' on the network because that way, I can say 'ping elvis' and have it come back with 'elvis is alive'." - Carl Shipley "[The] Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life." -- Andrew Brown "Live TV died in the late 1950s, electronic bulletin boards came along in the mid-1980s, meaning there was about a 25-year gap when it was difficult to put your foot in your mouth and have people all across the country know about it." -- Mark Leeper -- Ted Faber Figment at Large faber@loon.cs.wisc.edu -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* "The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit." -- Maugham -*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-* From jjh00@diag.amdahl.com Sun Feb 21 00:52:28 1993 From: jjh00@diag.amdahl.com (Joel Hanes) Newsgroups: alt.culture.usenet,alt.quotations,news.future Subject: Re: Usenet is ... (was Re: The Usenet motto) Summary: A few of my favorites from the last five years Keywords: Collection Date: 18 Feb 93 19:39:45 GMT Reply-To: jjh00@diag.amdahl.com Organization: Amdahl Corporation Sunnyvale California "Usenet is not a right." -- Chip Salzenberg "Usenet is a right, a left, a jab, and a sharp uppercut to the jaw. The postman hits! You have new mail." -- Ed Vielmetti Email or post, it doesn't matter to me. I'm not paying for the bandwidth. -- Charlie Reiman There it is: a summary of USENET in 14 words. Jim Reid Newsreader education lags; things fall apart, the computing center cannot hold; there is no perfect solution; but no opportunity to remind folks of new.announce.newusers should go amiss. USENET is a wonderful mechanism for making a fool of yourself in front of a very large audience. Lars Poulsen If you meet the Buddha on the net, put him in your kill file --Robert Firth POZZO: He used to dance the farandole, the fling, the brawl, the jig, the fandango and even the hornpipe. He capered. For joy. Now that's the best he can do. Do you know what he calls it? ESTRAGON: The Scapegoat's Agony. VLADIMIR: The Hard Stool. POZZO: The Net. He thinks he's entangled in a net. --S. Beckett, _Waiting for Godot_ --- Joel Hanes