From brit@Athena.MIT.EDU Fri Jul 3 08:54:41 1992 From: brit@Athena.MIT.EDU To: isp@Athena.MIT.EDU Subject: [From an Air France bulletin, dated December 1, 1989.] (fwd) Date: Tue, 14 Apr 92 19:17:24 EDT Some of you may have already seen this, but here it is anyway. It's pretty funny. ------- Forwarded Message From: Doug Koen Message-Id: <9204141932.AA08170@media-lab.mit.edu> Subject: [From an Air France bulletin, dated December 1, 1989.] (fwd) To: doug@archetype.prospect.com Date: Tue, 14 Apr 92 15:32:04 EDT Cc: ken@archetype.prospect.com, brian@archetype.prospect.com, zbt@Athena.MIT.EDU X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.3 PL11] ------- Forwarded Message > > Re: Signs of our Times > > Here are some signs and notices written in English that were > discovered throughout the world. You have to give the writers an > 'E' for Effort. We hope you enjoy them. > > > In a Tokyo Hotel: > Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person > to do such thing is please not to read notis. > > In a Bucharest hotel lobby: > The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we > regret that you will be unbearable. > > In a Leipzig elevator: > Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up. > > In a Belgrade hotel elevator: > To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin > should enter more persons, each one should press a number of > wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national > order. > > In a Paris hotel elevator: > Please leave your values at the front desk. > > In a hotel in Athens: > Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours > of 9 and 11 A.M. daily. > > In a Yugoslavian hotel: > The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the job of the > chambermaid. > > In a Japanese hotel: > You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. > > In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: > You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and > Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except > Thursday. > > In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers: > Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the > boots of ascension. > > On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: > Our wines leave you nothing to hope for. > > On the menu of a Polish hotel: > Salad a firm's own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings > in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef rashers > beaten up in the country people's fashion. > > Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: > Ladies may have a fit upstairs. > > In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: > Drop your trousers here for best results. > > Outside a Paris dress shop: > Dresses for street walking. > > In a Rhodes tailor shop: > Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute > customers in strict rotation. > > Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: > There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic > painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two > years. > > A sign posted in Germany's Black forest: > It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that > people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together > in one tent unless they are married with each other for that > purpose. > > In a Zurich hotel: > Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposite > sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this > purpose. > > In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist: > Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists. > > In a Rome laundry: > Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a > good time. > > In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: > Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no > miscarriages. > > Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: > Would you like to ride on your own ass? > > In a Swiss mountain inn: > Special today -- no ice cream. > > In a Bangkok temple: > It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a > man. > > In a Tokyo bar: > Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts. > > In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: > We take your bags and send them in all directions. > > On the door of a Moscow hotel room: > If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it. > > In a Norwegian cocktail lounge: > Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. > > In a Budapest zoo: > Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, > give it to the guard on duty. > > In the office of a Roman doctor: > Specialist in women and other diseases. > > In an Acapulco hotel: > The manager has personally passed all the water served here. > > In a Tokyo shop: > Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in > the long run. > > >From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner: > Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your > room, please control yourself. > > >From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo: > When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet > him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage > then tootle him with vigor. > > Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: > - English well talking. > - Here speeching American. > > > > > ------- End of Forwarded Message