To: nathanw@mit.edu, sheeri@cs.brandeis.edu
Bcc: sly@mit.edu, jered@mit.edu, kilroi@mit.edu, anna@lillith.mit.edu,
  mikka@mit.edu, greenie@mit.edu
Subject: sex party! an invitation from Nathan and Sheeri
Reply-To: nathanw@mit.edu, sheeri@cs.brandeis.edu
From: nathanw@mit.edu (Nathan J. Williams)
Date: 05 Jul 2000 17:12:28 -0400
Message-ID: <mtuzonws2mb.fsf@contents-vnder-pressvre.mit.edu>
MIME-Version: 1.0
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Xref: contents-vnder-pressvre.mit.edu mail.party:34


Hi! We're throwing a sex party. We got tired of listening to our
fun-loving friends complaining that there weren't any orgies or sex
parties or other sorts of extracurricular entertainment, so we're
setting one up.

Please read this mail carefully. We're going to describe what the
event will be, who is being invited, and what you need to do to
participate. 

Contents
* Introduction
* How the invitation process works
* Call for Help
* Rules for the event

********
* Introduction
********

The party will be Saturday the 22nd of July, from 7 PM until
approximately 11 PM. The location will be a suite in a
yet-to-be-determined hotel, likely in the Boston suburbs.

This mail is an invitation to join the party. We are requiring
affirmative RSVPs for the event, and negative RSVPs would also be
appreciated, but read "How the invitation process works" below.

If this event is successful, we will likely do it again. If you would
not like to receive any similar invitations from us, please say so.

We would like your suggestions for other people to invite to the
event. Don't make assumptions about who we have invited. If we have
not invited your significant other, please let us know so we may do
so.

Please do not discuss this invitation in public forums (for example,
on Zephyr classes. Mixes and lurkers happen.)

********
* How the invitation process works
********

Stage 1: now
 - We send out invitations to a "seed" list of people, and ask for
   RSVPs and recommendations for other guests. [HINT: you're reading
   stage 1 now].
 - The invitation contains the date, procedures, and event rules.
 - The invitation does *not* contain the list of invitees.

This stage will be iterated by sending invitations to the recommended
invitees (as hosts, we reserve the right to choose our guests).

RSVP's may be sent to either Nathan or Sheeri (nathanw@mit.edu,
sheeri@cs.brandeis.edu).

Stage 2: Sunday 9 July 2000

 - We will send out a list of everybody who has positively
   RSVP'd. People who have declined or failed to respond will not be
   sent this list.

**   IF YOU DO NOT WISH YOUR ATTENDANCE TO BE KNOWN TO THE EVENT 
**   IN ADVANCE, YOU MAY NOT ATTEND.

 - At this point, we will again ask for RSVP's, based on the
   prospective guest list. Remember that you will not have to engage
   in sexual activity with anyone at the party if you choose not to do
   so. You may RSVP yes or no, again to either Nathan or Sheeri. 
 - If your attendance will be conditional on the presence or absence of
   other persons on the list, you may tell us your constraints. This
   is not required. We will not reveal these constraints to other
   people, nor use them to influence others. We will, at stage 3
   (below), inform you whether your constraint has been met. 

RSVP's for this stage must be received by 10pm Monday 17 July 2000.

Stage 3: Wednesday 19 July 2000

 - On this day (hopefully early in the day) we will mail out final
   details about the location. We will privately inform those people
   who have given us conditional RSVPs whether their conditions have
   been satisfied.

Stage 4: Saturday 22 July 2000
 Party!

********
* Call for Help
********

We're hoping to make this a great party. You can help us make it even
better. How? By showing up, of course. But beyond that there are
specific areas where we could use assistance:

 - Location. We have a couple of candidate hotels lined up, but if you
   know of a space that is particularly convenient, economical, or
   appropriate to the event, please let us know.

 - Money. This is going to be an expensive event, what with the hotel
   room, safer sex supplies, refreshments, and so on. We aren't going
   to charge admission, but donations to help offset the cost will be
   appreciated and will encourage us to throw more parties of this
   type. We will have a hat (or other appropriate container) for
   donations at the party. Suggested donations are $5-10.

 - Transit. For economic reasons we are likely to pick a location in
   the suburbs, away from convenient mass transit. If you can drive
   and will have extra space avaliable, please tell us (but feel free
   to wait until stage 2 to see who you know and can give a ride to).


********
* The Rules
********

Rules for the Party
(version 1.1)

Obey the hosts. We may need to make changes to the policy as the event
progresses. 

Please do not discuss this event in public forums.

Please interrupt the hosts at any time during the event with any
problems or concerns. Our desire is for you to have a good time.

Persons who have not responded affirmatively to an invitation we
issued will not be admitted. Do not bring uninvited guests.

For this event, no means no. If someone says no to you, respect
that. If we are told that someone is not doing so, they will be asked
to leave.

You are responsible for stating your needs, wants, and limits.

Always ask the person(s) involved before beginning or progressing with
an activity. If you aren't sure if what you're doing is progressing,
ask. Check in with your play partner(s) often, whether they are new
partners or not.

Have fun.

Do not be shy. Do not be shy about making your desires, constraints,
or problems known.

Please discuss any relevant limits with your significant other(s),
bedbuddies, or spouses in advance of the event. Be sure to express
your limits to your potential play partners during the event.

There will be a room designated as a cool-off room, where there is to
be no sexual activity. Negotiating is acceptable but physical contact
is not. Please respect this comfort zone.

It it always OK to say no. You must have the freedom to say both no
and yes as you feel appropriate.

There will be no alcohol or other mind-altering substances
provided. If you arrive and appear to be under the influence of such,
you will be asked to leave.

We encourage saying yes to things you want to do, so that you can be
comfortable saying no to things that you do not.

We will supply a quantity of safer-sex supplies, including but not
limited to condoms, dams, gloves, lubricants, and cleaning
supplies. If you have a personal preference about such items, or have
allergies to common version of such (for example, to powdered gloves,
or to lubricated condoms) feel free to bring your own, but do not
bring anything that is not generally latex-compatible (for example, do
not bring massage oil, hand creams, or Vaseline).

We encourage safer sex practices. We will not be responsible for any
diseases, pregnancies, or psychodrama. Play is at your own risk so
play safely.

Do what feels good. The goal of this event is for everybody to have
fun in an unusual manner, beyond the average bedroom blahs. 


********

	Yours in debauchery,

	Nathan and Sheeri
	nathanw@mit.edu, sheeri@cs.brandeis.edu

	
