For the last two years, I've sung "Me and a Gun" at every concert as a way of healing the place inside myself that has been hurt, enraged, and numbed by violence.
For many years, I shut down that place inside myself that needed to rage, cry, ask questions, and basically just express herself.
I made a conscious choice when I put "Me and a Gun" on the record not to stay a victim anymore. You see, I was still a victim in my own mind from an experience that had happened a long time ago: I was still torturing myself.
Passion, joy, and love were not things I felt I could have or deserved anymore. I've been encouraged by wise ones, who taught me how to develop inner tools where I can understand these scared places in my being. It took me many years to make the decision to deal with this, but a bitter woman was what I was becoming and when I was young I always saw myself as a passionate woman.
I would say, "Well, she's dead." and the wise ones said, "It's your choice, Tori, if you want to bring her back to life, you can. She's only been sleeping-alone, in a very dark corner. It's your choice and there is help out there."
I recieved a letter from a 13-year old girl in Paris whose stepfather has been molesting her for years. She wrote: "If I had known a phone number which would have been able to help me, I certainly would have dialed it. So, we can't go one being blind and dumb: You don't have to put the message with the help phone number out now. Maybe you'll never do it, because of different reasons. You won't be to blame for it. But, I want you never to forget that every day someone loses their dignity."
Healing takes courage and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.
Love and Support,
TORI AMOS
R.A.I.N.N. (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network)
You can call R.A.I.N.N. at 1-800-656-HOPE
"Sometimes I hear my voice.. and it's been here"
Remember, the important thing is to get involved. Whether you are involved with RAINN, or your local women's or children's shelter, you are helping to pitch in.
Maintained by Todd Palino