\documentstyle[11pt,ifthen,guidemacros,twoside]{report}

\stdsizes
\setcounter{secnumdepth}{3}
\renewcommand{\thesection}{\arabic{section}}
\renewcommand{\thesubsection}{\thesection.\arabic{subsection}}
\renewcommand{\thefigure}{\arabic{figure}}
\renewcommand{\theequation}{\arabic{equation}}

\def\$#1${{#1}}  % Kluge: collect RCS revision info without $...$
\xdef\manvers{\$Revision: 1.1 $}  % For use in headers, footers too

\title {\begin{center}
\hspace*{1mm}\special{psfile=funky-owl.PS hoffset=-100}\hspace*{1mm}
\vspace{2cm}
\end{center}
Inessential CD Refiling \\ {\small (\manvers)}
%\\ {\Huge\bf BLEED ON ME}
}

\author {Dave Cho (dcctdw@mit.edu)}

% Trademarks and copyright symbols follow...
\def\PS{PostScript}
\def\LATEX{\LaTeX}
\newsavebox{\Scribe}
\sbox{\Scribe}{Scribe\protect\raisebox{.6ex}{\tiny TM}}
\def\SCRIBE{\usebox{\Scribe}}
\def\SIPB{SIPB}
% \def\LW{LaserWriter}
\def\LPS{Digital LPS40}
\def\LN03R{Digital LN03R}
\begin{document}
\maketitle
\newpage
\pagenumbering{roman}
\tableofcontents
\newpage
\pagenumbering{arabic}

\section{Introduction: What is a CD rack?}

\begin{quotation}
'rak n [ME, prob. fr. MD rec framework] 4: a framework, stand, or grating
on or in which articles are placed
\end{quotation}
The SIPB owns two {\bf bookshelves} which are used as CD {\em racks}.  Now,
while these {\bf bookshelves} were originally meant to hold {\em books},
they are fully able to hold CDs.  In fact, you may notice that there are
already CDs being stored in these makeshift {\em racks}.

\section{Getting Started}

When you see an unshelved CD, you should take a close look at it.  On it
will be the name of the artist and the title of the CD.  There should be a
CD {\em jewelcase} nearby which corresponds to this CD.  If someone with a
CD carrying case put the CD in, then it's their responsibility to pick it
up -- otherwise, hang it from one of the pushpins on the corkboard over
quiche.

\section{What to Start With}

A good thing to start with is {\bf The Alphabet}, which we reproduce here,
for your convenience:

\begin{tabular}{ccccc}
A & B & C & D & E \\
F & G & H & I & J \\
K & L & M & N & O \\
P & Q & R & S & T \\
U & V & W & X & Y \\
Z \\
\end{tabular}

\section{Processing Your Discovery}

Now, take the CD, the jewelcase it belongs to, {\em insert} the CD into the
jewelcase, and {\bf refile} the case!  Note that CDs are {\bf refiled} by
{\em last} name of artists, or {\em first} name of band names.

\section{Wait!  Did you understand that?}

The author shall now use small words for those who don't understand.  You
must take {\em up to fifteen seconds} to refile this CD.  This is the
terrible price you pay for living in an ordered society.

\section{One last note}

If you don't do this, we will break your {\bf kneecaps}.

\section{Where to Get More Information}

Try calling your {\em mother}, and asking her about {\bf common courtesy}.
She'll probably be happy to explain.

\section{Acknowledgments}

The author would like to thank the people who keep failing to refile CDs,
whose existence necessitated the creation this document.

\end{document}