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\title {\begin{center}
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Inessential Courtesy \\ {\small (\manvers)}
\\ {\Huge\bf BLEED ON ME}
}

\author {Dave Cho (dcctdw@athena.mit.edu)}

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\begin{document}
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\section{Introduction}

\begin{center}
{\Huge
SIT DOWN.

SHUT UP.}
\end{center}

\section{Getting Started: What is courtesy?}

\begin{quotation}
cour.te.sy 'k*rt-*-se- n [ME corteisie, fr. OF, fr. corteis] 1a: courteous
behavior 1b: a courteous act or expression 2a: general allowance despite
facts : INDULGENCE {hills called mountains by $\sim$ only} 2b: consideration,
cooperation, and generosity in providing; also : AGENCY, MEANS
\end{quotation}
The larger part of the civilized world believes in being {\em courteous} to
other people.  This means that, in general, when talking to a relative
stranger, your {\bf behavior} is something approaching {\em nice.  Kind.
Friendly.}

Now, contrary to popular belief, {\bf the SIPB} is part of {\bf MIT},
which, in turn, is part of {\em the world}.  Yes, that's right: the real
world permeates this little microcosm of X hackers, netrek addicts, and
people who listen to Queen too much.

\section{What to Start With}

First, inspect your brain.  Is it {\em connected}?  Are all your neurons
on-line?  If not, consider disconnecting the main neuron core, which is
conveniently done by gently and delicately applying 40,000 lbs of force on
the back of your neck.

If the vast majority of your neurons are indeed on-line and functional,
then proceed.

\section{Processing Your Discovery}

Now, say a person walks in the door.  Do you immediately snarl at them?  Do
evil invocations spring to mind?  Does the lament, ``God dammit, not {\em
another} EZ user!'', get uttered subvocally?  These things are considered
{\em impolite}.  Just because someone uses EZ does not instantly qualify
them for the 402$^n$$^d$ plane of the Abyss.  Nor the 401$^s$$^t$.  (Are you
getting the idea?)

Just because someone asks a stupid question does {\em not} mean that they
are stupid.  After all, at some point in your life, you were asking people
what 4 times 3 was.  In fact, many of you still probably are.  (13, right?)

\section{Wait!  Did you understand that?}

Just because you happen to know how to type ``M-x discuss'' does not make
you a superior life form.  So don't lord it over other people.  Don't grab
their keyboard away from them and start typing.  Explain what you are
doing.  Don't use technical language to impress them, even if they are of
the appropriate sex and sexual orientation.  Solve their problem and teach
them how to avoid it in the future.  {\em THEN} flirt with them.  (Not that
they'll probably flirt back; you are, after all, a SIPB member or
prospective.  Get real.)

\section{One last note}

Mind what you say.  Just because you laugh {\em after} the person has left
doesn't mean that someone outside won't hear.  We have a PR problem, for
good reasons.  Don't change the effects; solve the problem.

EZ happens to be a perfectly good solution for some problems, and I don't
mean hosing your workstation.  Not everyone has to know emacs, \LaTeX, and
C.  Not everyone has to be a perl hacker.

\section{Where to Get More Information}

Try calling your {\em mother}, and asking her about {\bf common courtesy}.
She'll probably be happy to explain.  She may also suffer a major coronary
from the shock of your asking, but life's full of little risks.

\section{Acknowledgments}

The author would like to thank Snotty Maximus and Insecure Dumfuck,
whose existence necessitated the creation this document.

\end{document}
