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\title {\begin{center}
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Inessential Refrigerator Restocking \\
{\Huge For Morons} \\ {\small (\manvers)}
%\\ {\Huge\bf BLEED ON ME}
}

\author {Dave Cho (dcctdw@athena.mit.edu)}

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\def\SIPB{SIPB}
% \def\LW{LaserWriter}
\def\LPS{Digital LPS40}
\def\LN03R{Digital LN03R}
\begin{document}
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\section{Introduction: What is a refrigerator?}

From \foo:

\begin{quotation}
The SIPB owns a refrigerator for the express purpose of cooling {\em sodas}
and {\em juices}.  It is usually appreciated by people that their {\em
sodas} and {\em juice drinks} are cold.
\end{quotation}

Now, the big white rectangular object in the rear of the SIPB office,
across from the stereo, is the {\em refrigerator}.  In this very same
refrigerator are kept {\em sodas} and {\em juices}.  There is a very high
probability that you even get a {\em soda} or {\em juice} from this
refrigerator at semi-regular intervals.

\section{Getting Started}

From \foo:

\begin{quotation}
When you see that the refrigerator is low on a particular {\em item} (for
instance, {\bf Coca-Cola}, also known as {\bf Coke}), then you should pause
and {\em think}.  We realize this is difficult for some people.
\end{quotation}

Silly us, we thought that thinking was a procedure that most people could
grasp.  We shall go into this at more length.

{\em To think} means to {\bf ponder}, to {\bf consider}, to {\bf reason}.
It is widely believed that MIT students are very good at {\em thinking}.
This means that if you aren't good at {\em thinking}, you should consider
{\bf autodefenestration}.

\section{What to Start With}

Look in the refrigerator.  This means that when you {\em open} the {\em
door}, {\bf look in}.  Note that this momentous event probably happens as
you reach for a {\em soda} or a {\em juice}.  Now, savor this momentous
happening by {\bf looking further!}.  Do you notice that there are {\bf
two} or {\bf three} of that {\em soda} or {\em juice} left?  Eureka!
Oh, frabjous day, we have a miraculous breakthrough!

\section{Processing Your Discovery}

From \foo:

\begin{quotation}
At this point, you should inspect the stack of {\em sodas} and {\em juices}
located next to the music equipment.
\end{quotation}

In \foo, we didn't explain this well enough.  What this means is that you
should {\bf push} onto your {\bf operations stack} your {\em current
mindset}.  (The author realizes that many platforms cannot support this.
The author suggests that those platforms have linear acceleration
experiments performed on them, as that is the only possible way to get any
sort of useful societal contribution from aforementioned platforms.)  Now,
get another {\bf case} of the appropriate {\em soda} or {\em juice} and put
it inside the refrigerator.  See \foo for more details.

\section{Wait!  Did you understand that?  Probably not, so let's try again...}

The author shall now type slower for those who didn't understand.
\begin{itemize}
\item Take a longer look while your head is cooling off inside the
refrigerator
\item {\bf Determine} if you're taking one of the last few cans.
\item Take a few minutes to {\bf do something useful} about it.
\end{itemize}

If you still don't understand this, please follow the instructions
contained in the above parenthetical remark about useless platforms.

\section{One last note}

There are probably many SIPB members who can help the novice with this new
and terrifying concept.  Feel free to ask for assistance.

\section{Where to Get More Information}

From \foo:

\begin{quotation}
Try calling your {\em mother}, and asking her about {\bf common courtesy}.
She'll probably be happy to explain.
\end{quotation}

If this doesn't work, try stapling bagels to your face.

\section{Acknowledgments}

The author would like to thank Amazingly Stoopidicus Maximus and Stoopid
Cluless Dumfuck, whose existence necessitated the creation of this
document.

\end{document}