Ask J.Arthur

J.Arthur Random is here, and ready to take your questions. He'll respond as quick as possible, but give him a couple days. Ask ANY question, though, and as long as the question isn't too off-color, he'll do his best.

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Already asked questions

Is that really you up there?

Nope, but it's pretty schweet, no?

Is the word #$#@^# off-color?

Yup.

Are there any hot guys/babes/effreet/llamas at Random?

There are some fine people here, yeah. Random heaters are somewhat temperamental, and around wintertime things get pretty steamy around here. But everyone knows that people make the best blankets, so I guess turning on the heat in the winter is natural.... :)

What are the rooms like?

The rooms are all singles and doubles, and we guarantee no crowding. There are really five different kinds of room on each floor, designated by the last digit of the number. The room 325, for example, is on the third floor, in the 2nd half-floor (each floor has two halves, there are two floors on each level, with the 1st and 2nd "halves" at the 282 building, and the 3rd and 4th "halves" in the 290 building), and is a type 5 room. 2 and 5 rooms are doubles, 1, 3, and 4 rooms are singles. 4 and 5 rooms are special b/c they have two parts to them, two adjoining rooms. 3 and 4 rooms are special b/c they are on airshafts, while 1 and 2 rooms face the front of Random (Mass Ave) and 5 rooms face the rear of Random (University Park). You can look at the maps of Random to figure out what I was trying to say, or play around with RandomQuake or RandomVRML to see a virtual reconstruction.

Maybe a good way to think about it, suggested by Chris, is that the numbers are a coordinate system. Your room number is XYZ, where X is your floor, Y is your distance away from Hell and towards Central Square, and Z is your distance from Mass. Ave. Sort of a "height, width, depth" system.

Can you paint the walls?

Very much so. Some rooms are painting in light pastels, some rooms used to have elaborate seascapes, and one room has fire on one wall, mountains on another, hills on another, and a huge butt on the fourth wall. Ask to see the "butt room" on the tour.....
Note also that the ability to paint walls is rare at MIT. Most dorms disallow this completely, and some dorms require that you fill out an application to paint your walls. At Random, you just buy some paint and go.... (after discussing with your roommate, hopefully...)

are there any nifty-type people who would like a (bleep) backrub??

There are tons of nifty people here, and a number of them can always appreciate a good (bleep) backrub. If it's a bad (bleep) backrub, forget it, but I know that some people here just adore backrubs. You may have to get to know them a bit, since most people don't want total strangers to be running their hands over their backs, but that's to be expected, and after a few days here you'll have a number of close friends who are always willing to have their backs rubbed if you'll let them rub yours. If it's a backrub, it depends. If it's a (bleep).... well, such things are better discussed with the people in question. :)

If I were to run through the halls announcing my THAC0 to everyone I encountered before breaking into a Broadway number, would I scare most residents?

Don't you live here already? There are a number of residents who fit your description already, and in general all sorts of people live here, and foibles and quirks of any and all kinds are heavily encouraged. Remember, though, that announcing your Thac0 isn't in character. You'd be far better pronouncing yourself to be a Myrmidon, rather than a 5th level fighter.

Do these dorms come with refrigerators, microwaves, or anything like that? Do individual dorms have bathrooms or are there just a few bathrooms per floor or what?

Well, first, a clarifying point. A "dorm", as the word is used here, refers to a residence hall. So Random Hall is a dorm, Senior House is another dorm, Baker House is another dorm, etc. The rooms of each dorm are called (get this) "rooms". Random Hall is divided into 4 physical floors, each of which is split into two "floors", which each have 10 rooms for living in, and a kitchen, a lounge, and 2 bathrooms.

Thus, there are 16 bathrooms in the dorm (more or less, the first floor is build differently to account for the tutor's apartment and the housemaster's apartment, but it's pretty close), 8 kitchens, and 8 lounges. Each kitchen has cabinets, 4 refrigerators, a microwave, an oven, and a stove. Thus, there are roughly 32 refridgerators in the dorm entire, which means that everyone has a bunch of space.

Does that answer your question?