A Tribute to Beer

I feel sorry for people who don't drink.  When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.
--Frank Sinatra

The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're
sober.
--William Butler Yeats

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk.  That will teach you
to keep your mouth shut.
--Ernest Hemingway

You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
--Dean Martin

Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it.
--Anonymous

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
--Catherine Zandonella

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol.
--Anonymous

Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity
that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat hairy girls.
--Ross Levy

Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder.
--Anonymous

Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all
of the time and have the time of your life.
--Anonymous

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case.  Coincidence?
--Stephen Wright

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go
to heaven Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven...
-- Brian O'Rourke

Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol
has taken out of me.
--Winston Churchill

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
--Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind
is beer.  Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention,
but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
--Dave Barry

I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
--Homer Simpson

I drink to make other people interesting.
--George Jean Nathan