Prophets for the End of Time| Chapter | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 |
Prophets for the End of Time
PrologueThese are the generations of Clayton Pinkes, one of the Lord’s two anointed; protégé of the Archangel Raphael; Prophet for the End of Time:
Levi Cohen begat Samuel Cohen during the reign of Abraham the President. This was at the beginning of the Age of Machines, and throughout the Earth noble men of great stature began to gather unto themselves devices and machines; and those who possessed devices and machines were spoken of with reverence for their nobility and stature. Levi Cohen himself never personally owned a machine of any note.
His only-begotten Samuel Cohen did own several machines, including electric light bulbs, which he was not operating the night he begat Tobiah Cohen, several years prior to the anointing of He Who Was Called (No, Really) Grover. Samuel Cohen also begat Kenneth O’Mally, quite by accident and unbeknownst to him, on the night he realized a tremendous return on early industrial investments and was celebrating with much wine in a Brooklyn house of frolic.
And Michael, Prince of Angels, was displeased with the splitting of this bloodline, which had not been part of the plans for how the End of Time would happen; and in a snit, he almost called the whole thing off.
Kenneth O’Mally begat Myra O’Mally, and Myra, albeit a bastard of the bloodline, comported herself admirably and with compassionate nature. She worked for Catholic charities, and danced and sang into a machine that made soft voices loud so that gold could be gathered for the Second of the Great Wars. Myra O’Mally knew Harold Pinkes, and together the two of them begat Daniel Pinkes.
And the Archangel Michael called forth two angels to carry to the face of the Earth the Urim and the Thummim of old to be hidden among men. And the angels gazed upon the ancient objects of the Lord, saying, "Where, O Prince of Angels, shall we hide the Urim and the Thummim of old on the face of the Earth among men?"
And Michael, Prince of Angels, said, "Oh, who cares? Just anywhere," for he was still peeved about the Samuel Cohen begetting incident.
And the angels went forth from Michael’s presence to beseech the aid of the Archangel Raphael who, alone among angels, could touch what men touched and be physical as men were physical. And Raphael consoled the angels, assuring them that Michael was just being pettish, and that they should proceed with Heaven’s original plan. "Praise unto you, Raphael," the two angels sang in unison, "for you have come to our aid in the labors of Heaven."
And the Archangel Raphael rebuffed their praise, saying, "C’mon, guys, knock it off. I’m just a working stiff like the rest of you."
On Earth, Tobiah Cohen begat Zachary Cohen according to the true bloodline. Zachary, who was raised to maturity during times of gayness and frivolity, begat robustly and with great vigor. He begat eleven times by eight women, and among the fruits of his begetting was Lisa, whose surname was not Cohen but Gerard. Last names were often confounded that way throughout the last century of that millennium.
Then there was sent to Earth the Archangel Gabriel, who intervened on behalf of the majesty of the Archangel Michael, Prince of Angels, lord of cherubim and seraphim, the Holy One of holy ones, by introducing Daniel Pinkes to Lisa Gerard in a Syracuse bar. These two communed regarding occupation, income level, and past attempts at begetting—for these were the days of Richard-Who-Fled, the beginnings of the Begetting Plagues—and soon they joined in ritual wedlock.
Michael, Prince of Angels, was pleased with the rejoining of the bloodline, and decided to go ahead with the End of Time after all.
And it came to pass in the second year of the forth decade before Christendom’s third millennium, that Daniel Pinkes knew his wife and begat Clayton Pinkes, one of the two Prophets for the End of Time.
And there was great rejoicing among the angels of Heaven, except by Raphael, who didn’t even make an appearance at any of the best parties.
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