[Fade into department store scene, fluorescent lighting, boring
 elevator music in background.  Martha enters.]

Clerk [smiling]:  Hi.  May I help you?

Martha:  Yes, I'm interesting in buying a CD player.

Clerk [smiling]:  Oh, wonderful.  We're having a sale.  Let me show
	you this model:  it has auto-repeat, 5-CD carousel, remote control,
	toaster oven....

Martha [eyes rolling]:  Uhm, no.  This is for our office.  We don't
	need any fancy features....

Clerk [smiling]:  Ah, ok.  @i(This) model comes with high-fidelty speakers,
	excellent bass, automatic equilization, fuzzy logic...just perfect
	for an office setting...

Martha [grimacing]:  No, we want something @i(durable)....

Clerk [smiling, by this point it's apparent that he has severe facial
	nerve damage preventing normal expressions]:  Ah, ok, well
	@i(this) model is designed for use in deluxe Sherman tanks.
	It has armor plating, rotating machine gun....

Martha [sighing]:  Closer, but still not good enough.  We need something
	that can survive a fall from a 6-story building, be submerged
	in a vat of boiling carbonic acid, receive CDs stained with
	Dominoes pizza, survive freezing temperatures [for when marc
	comes into the office], and be handled by dyslexic gorillas.
	The only other features required are "play" and "eject" buttons.

Clerk [smiling]:  Uhm, ok, well, let's see...hold on...

[Clerk goes off to have brief talk with manager, who opens safe and
	draws out a small box.]
Manager [smiling]:  Hi.  Clerk Clark tells me you might be interested
	in out "Nuclear Fallout" model.  It comes with its own safe,
	obtionally imbedded in 3 feet of concrete.  It has been tested
	to withstand pressures in excess of 8000psi, Trident missile
	blasts, heavy radiation, sulfuric acid, and comes with a
	5000 year guarentee.  [in a small voice]  It, however, [nervous
	laugh] isn't geek-proof.

Martha:  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!