From nihilis@solar.sky.net Mon Dec 12 01:45:47 1994 Path: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!news2.near.net!howland.reston.ans.net!news.sprintlink.net!solar.sky.net!solar.sky.net!not-for-mail From: nihilis@solar.sky.net ([support] joel boutros) Newsgroups: alt.shoe.lesbians Subject: The alt.shoe.lesbians FAQ Date: 8 Dec 1994 18:06:32 -0600 Organization: SkyNET Corporation Lines: 189 Message-ID: <3c8728$4jo@solar.sky.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: solar.sky.net Summary: the FAQ! Keywords: FAQ, Frequently Asked Questions, alt.shoe.lesbians X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2] This is a repost. The first one didn't cause, like.. I dunno, but it didn't. So, .. this is the ASLFAQ 2.0! Without further ado... -- Okay. So, since it's been months since i read up on my group (yeah, i created it) (no really), cause i thought some anti shoesex news administrator newked it.. (hey, my news service provider stopped carrying it, the jerks) .. anyway.., it's been months since i've read it, and now doing so, i've noticed some thoroughly TWISTED conversations and such. Fine work. Now. as people also seem to be lost as to what the hell this group is, anyway, here's the FAQ (the once and only posting, probably, unless i like save it somewhere or someone else cares to carry on the work. please?) Inevitably it can be stored at rtfm.mit.edu somewhere. Like.. so.. there. Now if someone asks any of these FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS, you can promptly reply "RTFM, DORK!", and it'll be known throughout the land that you actually mean "rtfm.mit.edu". (insert aura here) So, without much further ado.. here it be, in fAq++ form. /* * alt.shoe.lesbians * * FAQ, version 1.0 * * Originally by Joel Boutros * * Now maintained by (Your Name Here?) * * For Shoe Lesbians And Their Friends. */ Q: Like.. What the hell is this newsgroup anyway? I mean, should i show it to my shoes and hope that they're encouraged to come out of the closet or what? A: Like.. yeah. This is a newsgroup for shoe lesbians and their friends. This isn't for like Human Lesbians and their friends, nor for cat lesbians or anything like that. Shoes! Footwear! Of course, anyone else can post on it, cause like, assumedly you're footwear friendly. NO HOMOPEDOEROTIPHOBES ALLOWED! If you don't like the idea of two female shoes having sex, then don't read this group! Q: Like, i wear sandals. Is that alright? A: Have they come out of the closet yet, and if so, have you been supportive and nurturing towards them? That's the most important thing, being friendly to them. Q: Why is the sky blue? A: WHAT?! Q: You read me. A: Go check alt.sky.blue.why or something. Q: Oh. Thanks! A: Anytime. Q: Sometimes my shoe laces cross. Should I suspect that I might infact actually be wearing lesbian shoes? A: No, they might just be passing threads in a friendly manner, or it's a temporary and accidental freak of nature. But it's nothing too personal with the shoe laces these days. Back when I was a young netdork, maybe, but.. now? nah. These things are nearing commonplace. Q: How can you tell when shoe are having sex anyway? A: With lesbian shoes, usually they're laying toe to heel, with the laces together, though sometimes other configurations can be found. Also check for odd smells, by calmly sniffing the interior of the suspect footwear. If you've got the smell of sweat, then chances are, your shoes have been playing dirty! Q: Where in the hell do you come up with this crap? A: I dunno. Answers Come In Dreams. Q: Are you available on friday? A: Probably. Things've been going slowly in dateville lately. Q: Do socks help prevent the spread of diseases, like tinea pedis, commonly known as athlete's foot, or bunions? And can these diseases be passed on from shoe lesbian to shoe lesbian? A: Research is currently being done in that area, to produce reasonable information as to if this is the case or not. It is assumed, however, that in order to be completely safe from these infections, that one should encourage their shoes to remain abstinant, even if neither of the shoes is known to be carrying disease, because as we all know, these things can lay in waiting for you, until that one time when you're about to take a dive into the boss's swimming pool and he/she/it decides to have a surprise foot inspection. Then you'll be in trouble! Q: Why, joel, why? A: Well, you know. Q: No. Tell us. A: Cause. Q: You're not going to tell us, huh? Q: Hello? Q: Hmmf. A: Boo! Q: Aiee!! A: Scared ya, didn't I? Q: No, of course not. A: Suuuure. Q: Can you think of any more questions? A: Nope. Q: Cool. A: Yeah. -n- (joel boutros) (who hasn't yet quit his day job) Questions and comments, mail 'em here. I need attention. (no kidding, right?) nihilis@sky.net - nihilis@dan.com (the theories and messages, both hidden and not, within this article are the express theories and messages presented by joel, BUT NOT BY sky.net. cause like.. they're only my employer, not my mother) From nihilis@solar.sky.net Tue Feb 21 20:58:46 1995 Path: senator-bedfellow.mit.edu!bloom-beacon.mit.edu!spool.mu.edu!howland.reston.ans.net!news.sprintlink.net!solar.sky.net!solar.sky.net!nihilis From: nihilis@solar.sky.net ([support] joel boutros) Newsgroups: alt.shoe.lesbians Subject: alt.shoe.lesbians FAQ Date: 18 Feb 1995 03:55:01 GMT Organization: SkyNET Corporation Lines: 134 Message-ID: <3i3r2l$8ap@solar.sky.net> NNTP-Posting-Host: solar.sky.net X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2] /* * alt.shoe.lesbians * * FAQ, version 1.0 (anyone still have 1.0.666? i've lost it) * * Originally by Joel Boutros * * Now maintained by (Your Name Here?) * * For Shoe Lesbians And Their Friends. */ Q: Like.. What the hell is this newsgroup anyway? I mean, should i show it to my shoes and hope that they're encouraged to come out of the closet or what? A: Like.. yeah. This is a newsgroup for shoe lesbians and their friends. This isn't for like Human Lesbians and their friends, nor for cat lesbians or anything like that. Shoes! Footwear! Of course, anyone else can post on it, cause like, assumedly you're footwear friendly. NO HOMOPEDOEROTIPHOBES ALLOWED! If you don't like the idea of two female shoes having sex, then don't read this group! Q: Like, i wear sandals. Is that alright? A: Have they come out of the closet yet, and if so, have you been supportive and nurturing towards them? That's the most important thing, being friendly to them. Q: Why is the sky blue? A: WHAT?! Q: You read me. A: Go check alt.sky.blue.why or something. Q: Oh. Thanks! A: Anytime. Q: Sometimes my shoe laces cross. Should I suspect that I might infact actually be wearing lesbian shoes? A: No, they might just be passing threads in a friendly manner, or it's a temporary and accidental freak of nature. But it's nothing too personal with the shoe laces these days. Back when I was a young netdork, maybe, but.. now? nah. These things are nearing commonplace. Q: How can you tell when shoe are having sex anyway? A: With lesbian shoes, usually they're laying toe to heel, with the laces together, though sometimes other configurations can be found. Also check for odd smells, by calmly sniffing the interior of the suspect footwear. If you've got the smell of sweat, then chances are, your shoes have been playing dirty! Q: Where in the hell do you come up with this crap? A: I dunno. Answers Come In Dreams. Q: Are you available on friday? A: Probably. Things've been going slowly in dateville lately. Q: Do socks help prevent the spread of diseases, like tinea pedis, commonly known as athlete's foot, or bunions? And can these diseases be passed on from shoe lesbian to shoe lesbian? A: Research is currently being done in that area, to produce reasonable information as to if this is the case or not. It is assumed, however, that in order to be completely safe from these infections, that one should encourage their shoes to remain abstinant, even if neither of the shoes is known to be carrying disease, because as we all know, these things can lay in waiting for you, until that one time when you're about to take a dive into the boss's swimming pool and he/she/it decides to have a surprise foot inspection. Then you'll be in trouble! Q: Why, joel, why? A: Well, you know. Q: No. Tell us. A: Cause. Q: You're not going to tell us, huh? Q: Hello? Q: Hmmf. A: Boo! Q: Aiee!! A: Scared ya, didn't I? Q: No, of course not. A: Suuuure. Q: Can you think of any more questions? A: Nope. Q: Cool. A: Yeah. -n- (joel boutros) (who hasn't yet quit his day job) Questions and comments, mail 'em here. I need attention. (no kidding, right?) nihilis@sky.net - nihilis@dan.com (the theories and messages, both hidden and not, within this article are the express theories and messages presented by joel, BUT NOT BY sky.net. cause like.. they're only my employer, not my mother) -- -- nihilis@sky.net -- nihilis@dan.com -- GCS/E -d+(?) H++ s-: !g p? !au a-- w+ v- C++ ULS++++$ P+>++ L++@ 3 E- N++(+) K W M- V- po Y+ t S- j R G' tv>- b>+ D+ B- e(+) u+(*) h! f r>+++ n-@ y+