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101 Ways to Avoid Writing a Paper
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| 1 |
watch television |
| 2 |
watch a movie |
| 3 |
watch someone who is watching tv |
| 4 |
read the newspaper |
| 5 |
read a book |
| 6 |
read the tag on the back of your shirt |
| 7 |
learn to read palms |
| 8 |
play ping-pong.oh wait. |
| 9 |
break ping-pong tables |
| 10 |
play pool |
| 11 |
make a crunchy-peanut-butter-with-strawberry jelly sandwich |
| 12 |
make a creamy-peanut-butter-with-strawberry jelly sandwich |
| 13 |
make a crunchy-peanut-butter-with-grape jelly sandwich |
| 14 |
make a creamy-peanut-butter-with-grape jelly sandwich |
| 15 |
check your email |
| 16 |
send random zephyrs to peck |
| 17 |
learn to play the accordion |
| 18 |
go for a jog |
| 19 |
spit on people from the roofdeck |
| 20 |
debate with Leonard about the uselessness of the Air Force |
| 21 |
collect change from cushions of couch |
| 22 |
eat pretzels from cushions of couch |
| 23 |
invent a robot that writes papers for you |
| 24 |
drink all the grapefruit juice |
| 25 |
reorganize the beer in the beer room |
| 26 |
smoke some crack |
| 27 |
crawl around on your hands and knees and pretend you're a dog |
| 28 |
pick your nose |
| 29 |
take your shirt off and pretend to be Larry |
| 30 |
grow your hair out and pretend to be Wookie |
| 31 |
say "Aww Schnap" and "Sheeiiit" and pretend to be John |
| 32 |
count the number of tiles in the kitchen |
| 33 |
find a new highest prime number |
| 34 |
make some motivational posters for SMP |
| 35 |
climb a tree |
| 36 |
learn to juggle with flaming chainsaws |
| 37 |
hide in the attic and see how long it takes before we notice you are missing |
| 38 |
let Aragorn loose and see how long it takes to find him |
| 39 |
go outside and see how long you can stand the cold |
| 40 |
think of what to give for next year's gift exchange |
| 41 |
read Maxim |
| 42 |
www.asiannudes.com |
| 43 |
sleep |
| 44 |
pull the fire alarm |
| 45 |
learn to sew and make us a new flag |
| 46 |
make prank phone calls |
| 47 |
tune the piano |
| 48 |
watch pokemon until you can "name them all" |
| 49 |
see how long you can hold your breath |
| 50 |
count the number of times Leonard says "Kid!" |
| 51 |
give 10 monkeys 10 typewriters and wait until they finish your paper |
| 52 |
spend 5 hours making a really cool title page |
| 53 |
check to see if Stockham friggin' stocked 'em |
| 54 |
sheeeiit |
| 55 |
watch your fingernails grow |
| 56 |
watch Wookie's whiskers grow |
| 57 |
do someone else's problem set |
| 58 |
teach others how to avoid writing papers |
| 59 |
write your paper without using the letter "e" |
| 60 |
write your paper in Piglatin |
| 61 |
memorize the first 1000 digits of pi |
| 62 |
win a nobel prize |
| 63 |
get a tattoo |
| 64 |
listen to Babaloo, punk-mambo! Yeah! |
| 65 |
forward email chain letters to everyone you know |
| 66 |
figure out what words you can make from your phone number |
| 67 |
open a new Word document and stare at it for several hours |
| 68 |
see how many cokes you can drink until you become sick |
| 69 |
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| 70 |
organize your sock drawer |
| 71 |
tie your shoelaces together and then try to walk and fall and pretend someone played a joke on you and laugh |
| 72 |
balance a dog biscuit on your nose and don't eat it until someone gives you the command |
| 73 |
repeat everything that anyone says to you |
| 74 |
put your socks on your hands and have a puppet show |
| 75 |
make posters for your puppet show |
| 76 |
sell tickets to your puppet show |
| 77 |
cancel the puppet show because the puppets refuse to work in such poor conditions |
| 78 |
break something in the house and see how long it takes Larry to notice |
| 79 |
join a white separatist group and move to idaho |
| 80 |
hack into government computers and blame it on Vijay |
| 81 |
send a fake email to peck telling us to visit a web site that crashes our browser |
| 82 |
yell at pfinin for not getting enough 2% milk |
| 83 |
go into 3rd bath and change "mix and match" to "fix and patch" |
| 84 |
put your finger in a light socket to see if the power is turned on |
| 85 |
put spoons down the sink, turn on the food disposal, and call what results "modern art" |
| 86 |
sing backstreet boys songs until someone kicks your ass |
| 87 |
talk about Dan Moon's sister until he kicks your ass |
| 88 |
dream about how you'll be rich someday and how you'll have someone who writes papers for you |
| 89 |
make a web page about how you like sex and invitate women to stay at your place. You like ping pong also |
| 90 |
fantasize about you and gwyneth paltrow |
| 91 |
fantasize about you and gwyneth paltrowand Kim |
| 92 |
do a scientific study of every couch in the house and give each one a restability rating |
| 93 |
calculate how many words per minute you will need to write to finish on time |
| 94 |
fill out an application to join the army, but tell them your name is "Dave Allmon" |
| 95 |
mix together some milk, soda, grapfruit juice, and tobasco sauce and sell it as "Jose's magic oil: heals all your ailments" |
| 96 |
knock on all the neighbors doors and yell "The British are coming! The British are coming!" |
| 97 |
steal the pledges pledge pins while they sleep, then yell at them for losing it |
| 98 |
go outside and greet everyone that passes by |
| 99 |
ring the bell and relive the memories of when you pledged |
| 100 |
sit on your lazy ass and say "I should really start my paper now". Repeat every 15 minutes |
| 101 |
start your own country and call it "the united state of Jose" and write a constitution and have the first amendment be the right to not write papers |
