JOIN VOODOO NOW OR DIE A HORRIBLE, PROSPEROUS, AND UNINSPIRED LIFE

Do you like sex, drugs, and rock'n'roll? Well, then, you'll probably have something better to do on your Friday nights than write for Voo Doo.
Do you like pornography? So do we!
Did your mom write your college application essay? Yes? Then get her to write something for Voo Doo, too!
Are you easily offended? Yes? Well, fuck off.
Do you know what to do with 100 square meters of Astroturf? Then come by the office and help us out!
MIT housing fuck you over? Voo Doo has plenty of cots and dirty couches for you to sleep on!
Are you an alcoholic? Would you like to be one?
Do you want friends? Do you want to be my friend?
Are you convinced yet, or do I need to keep writing?
'Cause I can.
I will hound you your entire MIT career.
What MIT career?
You might as well submit now and get it over with.
It's easier if you're not resisting me.
I promise it won't hurt.
JOIN VOO DOO.
(c'mon baby... everyone else is doing it...)