THE AVENGERS HANDBOOK Edited by Paal D. Ekran, paalde@stud.cs.uit.no. Mail new pranks to me.. Version 1.0.2 Edited on a Commodore Amiga 2000. -- Yoo! First, where are you guys? There's hardly any activity on alt.revenge, maybe you're all deep into exam preparations? Now work good and good luck on your exams. As for the future, I'll try not to post this list too often. It has just passed 24k and posting it every week is just a waste of bandwith. However I am working on putting it on a ftp server, I'll keep you informed. I have still problems collecting revenge methods between 4. December and 15. January, if there anybody out there who could help me? (You only need to save the articles, mail me for information.) WARNING: I TAKE NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR ACTIONS PERFORMED, AS IN THIS SCRIPT. SOME OF THE ACTIONS ARE ILLEGAL AND I RECOMMEND THAT YOU DON'T TRY THEM OUT... -- #01 MAIL BURST. By Paal D. Ekran and Dale Worley. Perhaps a bit childish way of revenge, but works well. Just wait until you get one of those commercial catalogues with hundreds of rip-out order forms. Write down the name and address of the person you want to have fun with, and send in the order form. -- Here is the American version: Go to a library with many technical or trade publications. Pull out all the free reply cards, bingo cards, etc. Now ask for information on everything. (Well, don't circle more than 10 numbers on each bingo card.) With remarkably little work, you can collect hundreds of these cards. Fill them in with their real address and bogus company names. Dump them all in a mail box. With luck, they can be receiving a foot-high stack of mail every day! #02 BLOCKING PHONES. By Paal D. Ekran and Robert Bissett. You can block a person's phone, just call him from a phone box, when he answers the phone, then you leave the receiver beside the phone. You will now occupy the line as long as you feed the phone with money. This might become a bit expensive, as you have to use some nickels to keep up the line. Advice: Find a phone-box that's rarely used. This doesn't work anymore (though I do know an older guy who, back in college, called someone in Hawaii who promptly passed out, keeping the long distance connection going for 12 hours or so -- cool). At least, this doesn't work here in the states. If someone calls you and won't hang up, just hang up your phone for a moment and the connection is broken. Still it works in NORWAY! #03 NOISY SEAGULLS. By Paal D. Ekran. Let's say it's dark outside, and you want to play a phrank on someone. You are living a place where there are many birds. Yeah, let's feed the birds, in your neighbor's garden. Just throw some bread into his garden at 3 o'clock in the night and let the birds to the rest. Variation: Try sprinkling the bread in alcohol. #04 UGLY MAIL. By Paal D. Ekran. You should not do this unless you are really, really crazy for revenge; Get a newspaper, cut out some death notices out with killed persons, or persons who have died. Send them to the person with a letter telling how fun it was to kill the person (in the ad.). Variations: Try sending him a list with his name on, like a top 10 list with his name getting higher each time you send him a new death notice.. Remember what can happen if you are using this method (Cops, jail, the chair.) #05 CONNECTING PEOPLE. By Paal D. Ekran. Just put a notice in a magazine telling that you are a horny little devil that wants horny girls. You have to use your victim's name and address. Variations: If the victim is a male, try connecting him with another male. (YOUR VICTIM MIGHT BE KILLED IF YOU DO THIS, AS THERE ARE GUYS THAT TRAVELS AROUND AND KILLS FAGGOTS). #06 ORDERING PIZZA. By Paal D. Ekran and Brent Chivers. Just call the local Pizza store and order a Pizza, let them send it to your victim. This must be bloody annoying. Remember it might be the pizza shop that becomes the victim. Variations: Call the Police and tell that you have heard a shot gun at your victims place or that he is having a house party and you can't sleep due to all the noise. WARNING: The Police, and many take-out restaurants are using caller-ID, so we suggest you call from a phone-box. #07 DISC DRIVE KILLER. By Paal D. Ekran. This is an amusing and destructive way of avenging. Just open a disc and replace the magnetic disc with some sand paper. When the victim gets the disc, containing hot stuff, he will put it into the drive and it will destroy the drive-head. #08 FLOWER POWER. By Paal D. Ekran. Biological fighting is always cool. Get some seeds from some ugly weed and spread it all-over your victim's garden. If he has a neat garden you can always get some weed-killer and spray it on his garden. #09 PERSONAL HELL. By Paal D. Ekran. The trick here is to get a person into a locked room. When you have managed that, lock the room and turn on your power amplifier with that Cervin Vega 800 Watt, tune into some "nice" (read as ugly) kriss kross music or even Reidars Trekkspell Terror (That is a Norwegian group). #10 WAKE'EM UP. By Paal D. Ekran. Your victim has a telephone and it is far away from his/hers bed. Let's say he has an exam tomorrow and he must be ready to go early next morning. What you do then is simple call for a wake-up call with his number, about 05.00 AM should do fine, remember this is the best hour, especially if he has sleeping troubles.. #11 IS IT ALIVE? By Paal D. Ekran. If your victim has a lawn-mover standing in his garden you can sneak in at night and start it. The noise will probably wake him, and he'll wonder what the hell happened. #12 FLOWER POWER II. By Paal D. Ekran. Get some lime and spread it over your victim's garden. The grass will now slowly die. #13 AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER. By Paal D. Ekran and Kevin Konowalec. Suppose you're in a wedding, and you're in love with the bride, and rather pissed on the guy who steals her from you. Now get some laxatives and have it into the food. The effect is rather cool, expect chaos. VARIATION: Use sleeping-power instead of laxatives. A friend of me came to me with this idea. He had once heard about a nurse who came over some stuff that made the peeing green. She used in the drinks on a fellow she wanted to have some fun with. Some hours later they heard a roar and a guy came running in shouting: "Help, I am peeing green!" (Said in Norwegian.) I believe the "stuff" that makes people piss green that you referred to is Bromothymol Blue (weak [base???] indicator -- nonpoisonous in relatively small doses) #14 SMELL LIKE ... By Paal D. Ekran. This is a very cool one. First you get some marten-bait, or something similar smelly thing. Personally I recommend marten-bait as it smells as bad as raw sewer. I did this trick last time I graduated from high-school. A fellow and I went over to the local college and went into a class room. We greeted the teacher and smashed a test-tube with marten-bait into the wash and ran away...... (I got a day expulsion from the school, due to my creativity) VARIATION: You can spill this "water" almost every where, use your imagination. #15 SHAVING CREAM. By Chris Cantarine. Fill up a bag of shaving cream. Put the open end-part-way under someone's door (make sure the bag is open). Jump on the closed end of the bag. Also, put a dustpan under his door. Piss (or pour a jar of something) in it. That's cool. #16 DEMOLITION DRIVING. By Bjoern Stenbakken. Tie your enemy's car to the something on his house or his other car or something (use solid rope or a chain) for example, attaching it to the door knob on the outhouse-door should make much damage. This works best if the chain or rope is long. Approx. 20-30 meters. Do it in the dark, and cover the rope with some sand or something. Then you can sit back and wait for him to drive to his school or job. (The longer the rope, the better, because he will then gain more speed before anything happens.) #17 FUN WITH THE TELEPHONE. By Davis Sweeney, Robert Bissett and Mark Loop. Here's an old standard that provided hours of enjoyment at my last job: when the coworker (victim) of your choice goes for his/her tenth cup of coffee, pick up his/her phone and tape down the little button that the receiver sits on. (Pardon the technical jargon.) When your sucker gets back with the coffee and yet another doughnut, give 'em a call. When they pick up the phone, they won't hear anything and the phone will still ring. You'd be amazed at how well this works. Of course, it never worked on me. Really. I swear. -- A lot simpler way to accomplish the same thing is with a small piece of clear (Scotch) tape. Place it neatly over the holes on the receiver. It will totally block out all audible sound and, if done nicely, is not normally detected by the dupe. -- Open up the receiver end and disconnect the wires to the speaker (it's rather simple to do). Then the victim will keep thinking that someone is prank-calling him. After a few times, maybe he'll even start yelling at innocent people who call, maybe like his boss? #18 FUN WITH THE MOUSE (Phrank) By John Owens. One prank that worked well at Sun was some clown who put a little yellow Post-It(TM) pad sheets on the bottom of everyone's mice. Sun mice have the laser firing out the bottom onto the mouse pad, so anyone who moved their mouse saw no action on the screen. An entire building was affected that April Fool's Day, I believe. #19 SURANWRAPING THE CAR. By Roy Stewart. My friend Helen said she once suranwraped her enemy's car. She wrapped the plastic around the car, from bottom to top. If the car sits in the sun, say Phoenix Arizona sun, it makes it real fun. Be sure to cover the door handles and locks. #20 ANSI REVENGE. By Greg Banerian. In college we built a massive slingshot using surgical tubing, etc., and destroyed fair portions of our building with it. Build one for yourself and launch eggs, fresh dog turds, water balloons, etc., at their house in the middle of night. #21 BIRD AND THE BEES. By Dale Gee. If you really wanted to be ugly, you could send a cash money order to one of these bee keeping supply houses and have a swarm of bees delivered to your victim. If you're really ambitious you could take the swarm to your victim personally. Those bees will follow where ever the queen goes. The queen comes in a cage attached to the outside of the box. Place the queen cage where you want it. Open the box and viola! I thought it would be real interesting to see someone's reaction to having a swarm of bees in their car, apartment etc. Well, I am sure the minds here can think of other uses for a swarm of bees. #22 FOXY. By Joan Tine. Get a hype and fill it with Fox Urine Lure from your local hunting supply. Insert the needle in the rubber gasket or coaming that seals the window or door and spray the inside of the car. For months the car will be sticky, and every time the weather warms up it will smell like Boy Fox in Love. #23 KILLING THE CAR. By Steve McQueen. What really works is brake fluid (non silicone) on the paint. This will rust the hell out of it in a matter of days. Also if you are in a hurry you could buy a can of Hungry Jack biscuits and put them on the car at night. The next morning he will need to take a hammer and chisel to get that mess off, and he will take the paint with it. #24 SUGAR IN THE MORNING. By Kennan Ferguson. First, take off the bottom sheet of his/her bed. Put a sheet of plastic there; not so thick that it will rustle. Next, spread a thick layer of powdered sugar over the plastic; replace the sheet and return bed to its normal state. The beauty of this is the plastic that reflects body heat, making the sleeping victim sweaty. As he/she sweats, the sugar seeps up through the bed-sheet. Upon waking, the individual looks and feels like a glazed doughnut. This is not a friendly prank; sugar melt gets everywhere. #25 BIO-TECH AGAIN. By Paal D. Ekran. When I was in navy, and a newboy was on leave, we used to sow creed in the man's bed. When the guy came back the whole bed was blooming. #26 PAINTING THE CAR. By Paal D. Ekran. Feminist used this trick in Oslo mid. 70'ties. They sprayed "Hore Kunde." meaning: "whore customer" at the side of the whore customer's car. There are many other things you can spray at a person's car for example blow me, I have AIDS, I'm cheating my wife, dial (phone no.), I am horney, etc. #27 THE CAR AGAIN. By Kirby. This one only works in the winter in temps below freezing but it's good. Get one of those small air tanks, you know like the ones we've all seen on big pickups or tow trucks (we used to have one in our garage for our bikes when I was a kid). Fill it up about 3/4 with water then pressurize it. Go to the car you want to revenge and let the air out of one or two tires. Then refill the tires using the tank you brought with. The water will freeze solid and every time they take off after having let the car sit a while they'll get a strange "thump-thump" that mysteriously goes away by the time they ever get to a mechanic. Should be sufficient to cause some good repair bills. #28 THE NEW/OLD BUCKET TRICK. By Unknown. My roommate and I have some very interesting means of revenge. First, take the clear window insulator, that can be found at most hardware stores, and put it over their door at night. The instructions tell you to use a hairdryer, but an iron on the low setting works. That's how we did it. If you're feeling particularly lucky, try coating the inner surface with Vaseline. Setting a can filled with water up against their door is rather nasty too. Lean it so that it falls over when they open the door. #29 ANSI REVENGE II. By Morpheus and Donald E Quigley. OK, here's one that I really enjoy, because it's a riot to watch, and no one gets hurt (except for their pride). You take a paper bag and fill it with, eh...animal defecation (that's dog turd -just making sure), and close the top of it with staples. You then soak it in gasoline and place it on the front stoop of an annoying neighbor, right under the door. Light the bag ablaze and ring the doorbell. RUN. If all goes right, this is what should happen. The person comes to the door and sees a small blazing bag on his stoop. What does he do? You guessed it. He stomps it out. The reaction is priceless. BTW If nobody answers the door, you still leave a nasty smell (ever small crap burning?) by the house and a wicked-looking mess on the stoop. -- Try filling up one of those big, dirty (not necessarily empty) garbage cans in the dorm with water and leaning it up against their door. Then knock (and run like hell). #30 VINEGAR IN THE WATER. By Morpheus. For all you Boy Scouts out there- on camping trips, when you little trekkers get REALLY thirsty and start chugging down the canteens, watch the reaction of the pain in the neck who SOMEHOW got vinegar in his. He won't forget it. Neither will you. #31 SURANWRAP AGAIN. By Rob Peacock. Suranwrap is fun. You can also wrap it over the top of the toilet bowl and then put the seat down. Wait until some woman sits down to squirt! #32 IN THE SHOWER ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. By Cathleen Gallagher. If the victim is a habitual person, unscrew the shower head in the shower you expect him/her to use and drop a bouillon cube or two in. The hot water will slowly melt the cube and the victim probably won't notice until it's too late. The smell hangs on for a day or so. This worked well in my dorm. he, he, he. #33 KILLING CAR TIRES. By Unknown. An idea that I haven't tested but seem to have a big potential is to remove the valve stem on a tire and quickly superglue an eraser in its place. I figure it should hold until the first good size bump the car hits. Another possibility would be to do them the favor of getting their valve stems real good and tight. (i.e. strip the threads.) #34 MORE FUN IN THE SHOWER. By John L. Kinsella. Well, since we've moved to the shower, here's one: Empty their bottle of shampoo, then fill it back up with nair {:> #35 SWAPPING ROOMS. By Morpheus. Find another guy who's willing to agree with this. Then, simply switch the furniture in the rooms. When he comes home, and opens the door, he sees that he is no longer in "his" room. You can go on from there ("Hey! How the hell did you get our key? Who the hell ARE you, anyway?"). #36 POKA-DOT THE CAR. By John Armstrong. Another way to poka-dot a car is to throw fresh bologna on it at night when it is dewy out. Next day, they peel it off and 'Viola! Poka-dot paint, just what the doctor ordered. #37 ANTI-COMMERCIAL. By Paal D. Ekran. If you see a poster of a product you don't like, then you can easily change the effect of the commercial by writing some stuff. e.g., Last election here in Norway there was a poster with a person saying: (Translated) "The most important voter has no right to vote", the person was holding a child. Then someone had written "lucky for you!" from the baby. Another example "Welcome back" -- on a poster outside a gas station, I just could resist, so I wrote "and don't forget your money." #38 LOCK UP. By Scott Adams. Neighbor X is beginning to get on your nerves for whatever reason. You want to repay him, but nothing that does much damages. Here's an idea: You know how most mailboxes have a hole in the latch? Why not go down to a hardware store and pick up a lock? Lock the mailbox closed. The expression is priceless. For more fun, you can: Pour honey in the inside, attracting many ants. Epoxy the flag up (if you have a bad mailman, do this to every house nearby.) Fill it with cement. #39 PRIVATE CENSORSHIP. By Scott Adams and Paal D. Ekran. Suppose you live in an area equipped with cable. If you have ever looked at those boxes, you'll know that they generally fine you pretty badly for messing with the boxes. Open one up, and unhook wires, flip switches, do whatever seems good. Then, close the box again, and wait. They won't get the TV to work, will call the cable company, and get a nice fine. -- Another cool thing to do is to find where the cable is dug down, then dig it up, cut it, use some black tape to cover the cutting. Now the cable company will have real hard time finding the error. Remember timing is essential, cut the cable just before the Olympics or some-other championship. #40 MAILBOX PROTECTION. By June Peckingham, Ben A. Ostrowsky and Dale Gee. For anyone that has ever had their mailbox knocked off by a silly prankster driving along in his car with a baseball bat, here's a suggestion for revenge: Buy a big mailbox and a little mailbox. Put the small mailbox inside the big one, and fill the space between with cement. You will still get your mail delivered but if anyone attempts to bash your box, they will break their arm and their habit for mailbox baseball. :} -- Here's another, which works particularly well against nocturnal dweebs. Drive a heavy pipe into the ground, next to your mailbox. Make sure it reaches as high as the top of your mailbox. Paint it black. Wait. For weeks, our nights had been punctuated with the occasional "vrrrmmm... THWACK!" as local community-college guys accelerated to about 40 mph. That night, we heard: "Vrrrmmm... CLANG!" "OW!" "Shit, man, back up! I dropped the bat!"