Goodbye Amal

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Lyrics by Teresa A. Fazio, with apologies to the Dixie Chicks

Millerja and Rhode lived on 2ndWest,
All through their freshman year,
Their hallmate, Amal, they thought was a pest,
The things he said and did were queer.

To band rehearsal, Erin Rhode went out,
To take a break from the hall
Millerja got bored and went to the lounge,
And all she found was Amal.

Well it wasn’t two minutes after she got there,
That Amal started makin’ a mess.
His spaghetti smelled bad,
And the OJ he had,
Spilled on the couch and made Jenn real stressed.

Well, she finally got the nerve,
To tell him to clean up,
And get his garbage outta there,
But Amal walked right back into the lounge,
And smeared Nutella all over the chairs.

Then Erin returned to the hall from band practice,
Her face was swollen with pink-eye,
And she met up with Jenn,
And they worked out a plan,
And it didn’t take them long to decide,
That Amal had to die!

Goodbye, Amal!
That mac ‘n cheese,
Tasted all right to me, Amal.
You feelin’ weak?
Why don’t you lay down and sleep, Amal?
Ain’t it cooler,
Stuffed into that dewar, Amal?

The CP’s came by on a routine patrol,
They hid the body behind ekshea’s door.
Then they tipped their hats,
And said “Thank you, ladies,”
And continued on to the next floor.

Well the weeks went by,
And IAP ended.
The term loomed dark and mean.
And maybe we missed Amal’s redonkulous stories,
But damn, that lounge was clean!

So they got some paper towels,
And sat there for hours,
With some formula 409.
The result was this:
They now lounge in bliss,
And they don’t lose any sleep at night,
‘Cause Amal had to die!

Goodnight, Amal!
I feel a shiver...
Let’s go out to the river, Amal,
Oh, what’s that thingy?
We’re taking out a Tech Dinghy, Amal.
Erin’s getting your mail.
So let’s go for a sail, Amal.
Hey, well hey, hey, hey

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