From the Home Office in the Garden in Building E15 (Media Lab):

The Top Ten Reasons Why I (Jordan Slott) Should Get More Girls than my
Roommate (Andy Kraft):

10. I know how to program in X - so I can open and close windows whenever I
    please.
 9. I'm from Dix Hills; I'm used to girls wine at me.
 8. I wear my shirt around the house with greater frequency as to not scare
    women as often.
 7. I'm a better singer... NOT
 6. I take shorter showers
 5. I'm A LOT neater than my roommate.
 4. My phone bill is cheaper; therefor I can spend more money on girls for
    expensive dinners and presents.
 3. My username is spelled correctly.
 2. I have boldy gone where no man has gone before (left for your own
    interpretation).

And the Number One Reason Why I should Get more girls than my Roommate:
 1. I have my brother's apartment to go to, so I don't have to kick my roommate
    out everytime I want to bang the chick.

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Top 10 Reasons Why I (Andy Kraft) GET more girls than my roommate (Jordan):

10. I wear my shirt around the house less, impressing girls!
 9. I'm messier than he is.
 8. I take longer showers.
 7. I wear gold skirts in front of large groups of seated people.
 6. I'm assistant social chair.  It's my JOB to meet women.
 5. Actors do it on stage.
 4. I talk to women on the phone to convince them I don't HAVE to spend a
    lot on dinners and gifts.
 3. I DON'T get my semi-formal date so tipsy she can barely stand.
 2. He's a better singer than me... NOT!

And the Number One Reason Why I Get more girls than my Roommate:
 1. I DON'T program in X - I can pop up more than windows!

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Top 10 Reasons Why Dan and Yuval's Room is the Best:

10. You can always listen to chicken in there.
 9. You cna make pipsicles by our radiator.
 8. We have a blackboard with messages written in Hebrew.
 7. Our pseudo-sofa has psychedelic effects.
 6. You can look at the pretty records on the wall.
 5. You can look at the pretty leaves on the wall.
 4. We own a very large pillow.
 3. You can hear Yuval's excellent guitar playing and singing.
 2. Our "Sex and Relationships at M.I.T." sign attracts hordes of
    women.

And the Number One Reason Why Dan & Yuval's Room is the Best:
 1. Our room is the center of the universe.

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Top 10 Reasons Why Sam was Fired:

10. His cooking.
 9. His accent.
 8. His accented cooking.
 7. His cooking.
 6. Jamaican weed doesn't go well with dinner.
 5. Spinach is no substitue for weed.
 4. Pasta again?
 3. Is this pasta?
 2. What is this?

And the Number One Reason Why Sam was Fired:
 1. I Hate Cake!

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Top ten reasons why Joe's room is the best:

10. The skateboard rack holds more than skateboards. . .
 9. No pesky roommates to throw out before sex.
 8. Convenient access to the back stairs, allowing for easy 
      surreptitious entry and egress.
 7. No annoying radiators to bother with.
 6. Loudest ringing telephone in the house.
 5. Need the time?  Clap y

or hands. . .
 4. The VCR and TV suck just enough to discourage unwanted movie
    viewers.
 3. You'll never hear either REM or Billy Joel playing (unless Andy
    and Jordan are playing them).
 2. There is a complete nuclear arsenal in the closet.

And the number one reason why Joe's Room is the Best:

 1. It's the only one in the house without a computer.



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Top Ten Reasons why I (Joseph G) ought to get more babes than anyone 
else in the fraternity.

10. I have the longest hair in the fraternity (with Dario a close
    second).
 9. I am not a course 6 geek.  (Not only can I not tell a diode from
    a transistor, I can't even program in C).
 8. I know shopping malls like the back of my hand.
 7. Women are strangely fascinated by the art of skateboarding.
 6. I meet famous people for no reason whatsoever.
 5. My cool New Jersey accent.
 4. My shoes don't always match.
 3. My deck is the longest on campus.
 2. I am a lit major, implying that I am sensitive.

And the number one reason shy I, Joseph Grossman, ought to get more
babes than anyone else in the fraternity:

 1. Because I hold an officer position in MIT Hillel, demonstrating
    that I am not a man to be toyed with, but one of great power and
    authority.


From the home office at the Starfleet Academy:

The Top Ten Reasons to go See Star Trek VI:
=============================================

10. It was better than Star Trek V.
 9. William Shatner bought a new hair piece especially for the
    movie.
 8. You get to see Klingon blood gobules float in the air.
 7. You get to watch the crew of the Enterprise eat blue chicken.
 6. You can meet Jordan and his mysterious brother watching it for
    the 7th time.
 5. To see Kirk make out with yet one more alien chick.
 4. To see McKoy give mouth-to-mouth to a Klingon.
 3. To see Spock make a joke.
 2. To hear Shakespeare in the original Klingon.

And the Number One Reason to See Star Trek VI:
 1. To see the crew of the Enterprise save civilization once again!!