SPAM Haiku 11001-11100

Move backwards to Numbers 10901-11000.


11001.
SPAM--a fine pig jam.
What on earth is it made of?
Thereby hangs a tail.
--John Baglow, baglowj@travel-net.com

11002.
I submit SPAM ku
In the deepest of blackouts
Ah pranksters, I think

--Krackoff Urass, Vodka Collins @last

11003.
Bill Clinton butt boys
And all soft mouthed yuppie broads
Eat Bill Clinton's SPAM

--Charles Hoesdiddler, ch@moonnet.com

11004.
Marilyn Monroe
Wouldn't agree to eat SPAM
She is nevermore

--Burnt Toast

11005.
Even on Fridays
Catholics could still eat SPAM
It contained no meat

--Joshua Bellini, He b d man Acu Acu!

11006.
Donuts fried in SPAM
Hit all the major food groups
Sugar, salt, and fat

--Major Mishap, Col.Klunk@ftroop.com

11007.
Just say no to Treet,
It looks like SPAM, but it's sweet.
And it contains meat.

--Victoria Veganholler, Vickie@hotmail.com

11008.
The boosting of SPAM
Is not considered a crime,
Though eating it....is.

--Harry Mc Kinnon, harry@nh.com

11009.
SPAM bone in pocket
Greasy feelings all around
Rubbing it in good!

--Santana Piper, F451Montag@aol.com

11010.
multipurpose SPAM
can stop: leaks, weeds, whiny kids
warning! just DON'T eat

--slane, slane@cyberhighway.net

11011.
Open can of SPAM
Find answer to the question
Where's Jimmy Hoffa?

--slane, slane@cyberhighway.net

11012.
Sweet nitrite goddess
Postmodern icon of bliss
Rot my guts, Baby!

--Babz, babz@gateway.com

11013.
My diarrhea,
consistency of Jell-O.
Causal factor: SPAM!

--Potty Mouth, steinke1@gte.net

11014.
Pink and weeping flesh.
First SPAM, now my intestine.
Could it be much worse?

--Potty Mouth, steinke1@gte.net

11015.
Fast cars? Women? Drugs?
What could assuage my craving?
Only the blue tin.

--Potty Mouth, steinke1@gte.net

11016.
I showed the archive
To others. They laughed at you,
Not your verses' "meat."

--Tom Lilly

11017.
I hate one thing more
Than the Internet. I hate
All you SPAM poets.

--Tom Lilly

11018.
This is further proof
That freedom undirected
Advocates poor taste.

--Tom Lilly

11019.
Had enough? Want more?
I'll shut up and won't spew shit--
Just stop eating it!

--Tom Lilly

11020.
Open one more can.
The worms crawl in and crawl out
Of your tripe and snout.

--Tom Lilly

11021.
Pork hits paperback!
Sow pink corn over the world,
The harvest is hams.

--Reid Welch, rewelch@earthlink.net

11022.
My mother glares, then
Smacks me clear across the room.
Damn! No SPAM tonight!

--Chris Jehle, Maharis4Me@aol.com

11023.
Low-sodium SPAM
Somehow misses the point, but
Blood pressure is down

--Rick Park, rickpark@earthlink.net

11024.
"The Hawaiian Steak"
Is what local restaurant
Calls grilled SPAM with eggs

--Rick Park, rickpark@earthlink.net

11025.
Where dost the SPAM lie?
It frolicks through pastures green
Joy to its pure soul

--HoneyRyder, dragonofangnor@hotmail.com

11026.
My dear lady Pam
How happy I am your name
Does NOT start with S

--Hugo, Hugo.Moreau@mail.com

11027.
Neutered but aroused
Bubba's now flung like pink meat
Into female mouths

--Uneeda Biscuit, inuredrawers@homw

11028.
The women's movement
Queer, quiet type of brown SPAM
Running down my leg

--Uneeda Biscuit, inuredrawers@homo

11029.
Don't you just love SPAM
Filling cracks and crevasses
Ahhh fall..........now get up

--Edweenie Martin, weenie@rest.come

11030.
SPAM coated tonsils
Hymns of SPAM praise echoing
In wrinkled valleys

--Hairy Psalms, bubba@dwhitehaus.cum

11031.
Dinky Willie boy
We love you....where's our food stamps?
Welfare moms eat SPAM

--Viagra Falls, Smoke Crack ...Eat Spam

11032.
Bubba Bill exhaled
His SPAM goo through his penis
Democrats eat it

--Viagra Fails, Eat Crack ...Smoke Spam

11033.
SPAM comes in a can
People think it's pork jelly
Orgasmic meat treat

--Flatulina D. Arky, Hope@arkynet.com

11034.
Forgetting you love
Is easy as licking SPAM
Off the brown shag rug

--Dear Janie, Jeanie@flashnet.com

11035.
Love, a burning bush
And you're no Moses, pink stuff
Nice Spamammaries

--Dear Janie, Jeanie@flashnet.com

11036.
When the gods conferred
On a fitting punishment
The answer was SPAM

--Meghan, Meggerstoo@aol.com

11037.
What a difference
I have in my appetite
When it is SPAM night

--Meghan, Meggerstoo@aol.com

11038.
Ahhh SPAMku autumn
Leaves dart and tumble like birds
The odor of SPAM

--Omicroch Itchi Dammit, Beta Skrachit

11039.
AUTOku daemon
Gobbles my SPAMku daily
Digesting my name

--Omicroch Itchi Dammit, Beta Skrachit

11040.
It's stuck in the crack
My 45's needle skids
Across my ear drums

--Pauli Wannakraka

11041.
Bubblegum pink SPAM
Tortoise droppings on my shoe
In between the dreams

--Kookoo RU Senryu, Akipissi willi Gottago

11042.
Chinee westawant
Servee up much pink SPAM meat
Sum Yun Gal is nice

--Anon Yee Mush, Anon Yee Mush

11043.
The organ grinder
Cranked up but had no monkey
Deaf SPAM just looked on

--Felicia Fudgeling, fudge@arky.com

11044.
Church supper surprise
SPAM on a stick....so they say
It sure is dead now

--Rev. Urengine Phaster, vroomvroom@lldway

11045.
"Turn your head and cough"
"Great day for a SPAM dinner"
Gulped my fem MD

--Sarah Smegmatosis, Burntcrotch, Arkansas OU812

11046.
Feelings about SPAM
Rise up in my memory
And drip down my crack

--Odie Peyote

11047.
Competition nixed
One gal ate all of the SPAM
The farting contest

--Fletcher Arrow, FLetch@rrow.com

11048.
Fried SPAM, mac and cheese.
Child choked down with Nestle's Quick.
Choked up much more Quick.

--Hell and SPAMnation

11049.
Ode to SPAM--or owed?
One life, gagging up your gel.
Keep the change, my friend.

--Hell and Spamnation

11050.
i like toast and jam
i love those good, simple things
that's why i like spam

--maria, e.z.2.luv@mailcity.com

11051.
Pink baited rat traps
Fail to lure the hungry pests
And yet, we eat SPAM

--Rat Traps, PB@crotch.net

11052.
Miami Airport
So hot SPAM fries on the tar
Drug dogs sniff it out

--Rat Traps, PB@crotch.net

11053.
Volumes have been penned,
Tomes of SPAMku graffiti.....
Stifle yourself, please.

--Pizza Box, AnOnYmOuS

11054.
Flaming SPAM-kabobs
Streaking across the night sky
In hands of Greek Gods

--Jason K Pander, Atlanta Georgia

11055.
Wretched evil SPAM
Eyeless though I am...I "Si"
And shortly I retch

--Retching finger, retch@speednet.com

11056.
In cliterature
Dildoic SPAM is honored
It stands on its own

--Joey the Bumper, joey@earthnet.com

11057.
Is pink SPAM girl meat?
Or is it for guys to eat?
And the bubble Popped!

--Gina De Pena, Fall River Ma.

11058.
Belief in relief
Following a SPAMBURGER
Hides in gaseous clouds

--Ray Richard, pocketrocket@uk.net

11059.
Porcophobic jocks
Pass gas in biology
SPAM solids also

--Phil O'Donnel, Rindge Tech, Cambridge Ma.

11060.
Meat product of time,
how I shall miss your salt kiss
when all SPAM is spent.

--Michael Pollick, phaedrus65@hotmail.com

11061.
Salmon-hued temptress--
who will be thy whipping boy
when my SPAM days flee?

--Michael Pollick, phaedrus65@hotmail.com

11062.
What is the damn point
Of writing these SPAM haiku?
They're never published!

--John Baglow, baglowj@travel-net.com

11063.
The quality of
SPAM is not strained; it droppeth
Like a gentle thud.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

11064.
Eat some SPAM I am
Swallowed it I almost puked
What the hell is it?

--RipCord

11065.
In Boston's Back Bay
Yuppies closet-eat canned SPAM
Then use Binaca

--Mamanino

11066.
Autumnal urgings--
Digging holes, burying SPAM
Squirrels flee in fear

--Freddie Fallback

11067.
Dusty cans of SPAM
Cellar dwellers, time frozen
Waiting, just waiting

--Bapoo D. Dogg, Rocky's Mutt....Brockton Ma.

11068.
And on the eighth day
GOD created Hormel SPAM
And it was good.......NOT!

--Moses O'Reiley, Otoodle aye A

11069.
Life lived on life's terms
SPAM slabs on day-old white bread
Yeech!...but I'm sober

--Betty Boboo, Lynn, Lynn the city of sin........

11070.
Waterfall....Sunset
SPAM shining in the darkness
Plum blossoms....Pinkness

--Igota Itchiting, soskratchit@once

11071.
Cows laugh....ha, ha, hah!
While swine are stripped and shredded
Salted, oinkless flesh

--Laughing Bull, Here piggy, piggy.come

11072.
What's the difference?
Is it Microsoft or SPAM?
You can upload SPAM.

--Lee Malone, Leemalone@aol.com

11073.
White bread, cheddar cheese,
A stream of French's mustard,
And oh! mayonnaise.

--Ben Kovitz, apteryx@chisp.net

11074.
SPAM on my collar
Remnant of last night's secret
Hope no one noticed

--Ronald Buie, shadex@comm.net

11075.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
is all I can think about
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM

--Ronald Buie, shadex@comm.net

11076.
Featurelessly PINK
You are not a GUMMI BEAR
Saline, fishy SPAM

--Flatulina Horrendus, Atlanta Ga.

11077.
Georgia peaches...... Yeech!
Tight canned SPAM booty prevails
Sexual heaven

--Flatulina Horrendus, Atlanta Ga.

11078.
The point of SPAMku?
A Baglownian puzzle
Unsolvable John

--Not John B., not@primenet.com

11079.
Talk to me of SPAM
When shadows of the storm cloud
Linger on the tongue

--Georges Porges, faith@telnet.com

11080.
I once had a cat
She ate all the SPAM around
I was denied SPAM

--Anonymous

11081.
Gran rubbed SPAM gel on
Grandpa's back. He went downhill
Quickly after that...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

11082.
The moon was yellow
The SPAM was pink....inviting--
I too was yellow

--No Spam for Sam, sami@alabami.net

11083.
Pink canned luncheon stuff
Unpolitical.....deaf....blind--
Jigsaw of pig parts

--Harold Angelsing, Harkhark

11084.
Elvis and Clinton
Both dead in the backwaters
Thank you Bubba God

--Belinda Beanyone, Eatspam@hormel.net

11085.
Flashing your pink SPAM
Is an illegal gesture
But it's an IN thing

--Chickie Peasie, hommus.tel@home

11086.
Pulled porcine fleshness
Carnivoric chewing gum
For trailer parkers

--Fartcher Owen Assoff, tis all ye can do

11087.
a death row inmate
died eating last meal of SPAM
a cruel irony

--Potty Mouth, steinke1@gte.net

11088.
Poke it with your thumb!
Then squeeze it with your fingers!
Pink rubbery SPAM!

--Anonymous

11089.
Zsa Zsa slaps cop--Ouch!
A nation asks, "WHY?" Perhaps
SPAM deficiency?

--Chris Jehle, Maharis4Me@aol.com

11090.
cloudy gel oozes
out from the mottled pink flesh
sacrifice for key

--Sarah Richardson

11091.
It sits on my shelf
The SPAM, it does not do much
I stare at it now

--Spammy Boy, justiner@integrityonline.com

11092.
Butterfly floats down
I offer it my SPAMwich
Butterfly vomits

--Spammy Boy, justiner@integrityonline.com

11093.
The falling flower
I saw drift back to the branch
Was a spammerfly

--Basho (well, almost), justiner@integrityonline.com

11094.
How cool cut SPAM smells
when carried through the farm gate
as the sun comes up!

--Boncho(well, almost), justiner@integrityonline.com

11095.
Neither TRIX nor TREET
Take this SPAM kid and screw off
Happy?.....Halloween!

--Pumpkinhead

11096.
SPAMs in a can, two
two hungry lips partaking, ret-
ching the night away.

--Iflansburg@aol.com

11097.
Move over, you're done--
Baseball, flat beer, and hot dogs....
It's soccer and SPAM!

--John D. Army

11098.
Send SPAM into space
Show our hospitality
Fool the aliens

--kevin leeds, kevin@learn.net

11099.
Lakes? Cold? Forget 'em!
Minnesota's claim to fame
Is SPAM luncheon meat.

--Lauri Loveridge, lauril@worldnet.att.net

11100.
Pink pearl eraser
Smeared with used K-Y Jelly
And they call it "SPAM"

--CHARLES YEOMAN


Move forwards to Numbers 11101-11200.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.