SPAM Haiku 11001-11100

Move backwards to Numbers 10901-11000.

11001.
SPAM--a fine pig jam.
What on earth is it made of?
Thereby hangs a tail.

--John Baglow, baglowj@travel-net.com

11002.
I submit SPAM ku
In the deepest of blackouts
Ah pranksters, I think

--Krackoff Urass, Vodka Collins @last

11003.
Bill Clinton butt boys
And all soft mouthed yuppie broads
Eat Bill Clinton's SPAM

--Charles Hoesdiddler, ch@moonnet.com

11004.
Marilyn Monroe
Wouldn't agree to eat SPAM
She is nevermore

--Burnt Toast

11005.
Even on Fridays
Catholics could still eat SPAM
It contained no meat

--Joshua Bellini, He b d man Acu Acu!

11006.
Donuts fried in SPAM
Hit all the major food groups
Sugar, salt, and fat

--Major Mishap, Col.Klunk@ftroop.com

11007.
Just say no to Treet,
It looks like SPAM, but it's sweet.
And it contains meat.

--Victoria Veganholler, Vickie@hotmail.com

11008.
The boosting of SPAM
Is not considered a crime,
Though eating it....is.

--Harry Mc Kinnon, harry@nh.com

11009.
SPAM bone in pocket
Greasy feelings all around
Rubbing it in good!

--Santana Piper, F451Montag@aol.com

11010.
multipurpose SPAM
can stop: leaks, weeds, whiny kids
warning! just DON'T eat

--slane, slane@cyberhighway.net

11011.
Open can of SPAM
Find answer to the question
Where's Jimmy Hoffa?

--slane, slane@cyberhighway.net

11012.
Sweet nitrite goddess
Postmodern icon of bliss
Rot my guts, Baby!

--Babz, babz@gateway.com

11013.
My diarrhea,
consistency of Jell-O.
Causal factor: SPAM!

--Potty Mouth, steinke1@gte.net

11014.
Pink and weeping flesh.
First SPAM, now my intestine.
Could it be much worse?

--Potty Mouth, steinke1@gte.net

11015.
Fast cars? Women? Drugs?
What could assuage my craving?
Only the blue tin.

--Potty Mouth, steinke1@gte.net

11016.
I showed the archive
To others. They laughed at you,
Not your verses' "meat."

--Tom Lilly

11017.
I hate one thing more
Than the Internet. I hate
All you SPAM poets.

--Tom Lilly

11018.
This is further proof
That freedom undirected
Advocates poor taste.

--Tom Lilly

11019.
Had enough? Want more?
I'll shut up and won't spew shit--
Just stop eating it!

--Tom Lilly

11020.
Open one more can.
The worms crawl in and crawl out
Of your tripe and snout.

--Tom Lilly

11021.
Pork hits paperback!
Sow pink corn over the world,
The harvest is hams.

--Reid Welch, rewelch@earthlink.net

11022.
My mother glares, then
Smacks me clear across the room.
Damn! No SPAM tonight!

--Chris Jehle, Maharis4Me@aol.com

11023.
Low-sodium SPAM
Somehow misses the point, but
Blood pressure is down

--Rick Park, rickpark@earthlink.net

11024.
"The Hawaiian Steak"
Is what local restaurant
Calls grilled SPAM with eggs

--Rick Park, rickpark@earthlink.net

11025.
Where dost the SPAM lie?
It frolicks through pastures green
Joy to its pure soul

--HoneyRyder, dragonofangnor@hotmail.com

11026.
My dear lady Pam
How happy I am your name
Does NOT start with S

--Hugo, Hugo.Moreau@mail.com

11027.
Neutered but aroused
Bubba's now flung like pink meat
Into female mouths

--Uneeda Biscuit, inuredrawers@homw

11028.
The women's movement
Queer, quiet type of brown SPAM
Running down my leg

--Uneeda Biscuit, inuredrawers@homo

11029.
Don't you just love SPAM
Filling cracks and crevasses
Ahhh fall..........now get up

--Edweenie Martin, weenie@rest.come

11030.
SPAM coated tonsils
Hymns of SPAM praise echoing
In wrinkled valleys

--Hairy Psalms, bubba@dwhitehaus.cum

11031.
Dinky Willie boy
We love you....where's our food stamps?
Welfare moms eat SPAM

--Viagra Falls, Smoke Crack ...Eat Spam

11032.
Bubba Bill exhaled
His SPAM goo through his penis
Democrats eat it

--Viagra Fails, Eat Crack ...Smoke Spam

11033.
SPAM comes in a can
People think it's pork jelly
Orgasmic meat treat

--Flatulina D. Arky, Hope@arkynet.com

11034.
Forgetting you love
Is easy as licking SPAM
Off the brown shag rug

--Dear Janie, Jeanie@flashnet.com

11035.
Love, a burning bush
And you're no Moses, pink stuff
Nice Spamammaries

--Dear Janie, Jeanie@flashnet.com

11036.
When the gods conferred
On a fitting punishment
The answer was SPAM

--Meghan, Meggerstoo@aol.com

11037.
What a difference
I have in my appetite
When it is SPAM night

--Meghan, Meggerstoo@aol.com

11038.
Ahhh SPAMku autumn
Leaves dart and tumble like birds
The odor of SPAM

--Omicroch Itchi Dammit, Beta Skrachit

11039.
AUTOku daemon
Gobbles my SPAMku daily
Digesting my name

--Omicroch Itchi Dammit, Beta Skrachit

11040.
It's stuck in the crack
My 45's needle skids
Across my ear drums

--Pauli Wannakraka

11041.
Bubblegum pink SPAM
Tortoise droppings on my shoe
In between the dreams

--Kookoo RU Senryu, Akipissi willi Gottago

11042.
Chinee westawant
Servee up much pink SPAM meat
Sum Yun Gal is nice

--Anon Yee Mush, Anon Yee Mush

11043.
The organ grinder
Cranked up but had no monkey
Deaf SPAM just looked on

--Felicia Fudgeling, fudge@arky.com

11044.
Church supper surprise
SPAM on a stick....so they say
It sure is dead now

--Rev. Urengine Phaster, vroomvroom@lldway

11045.
"Turn your head and cough"
"Great day for a SPAM dinner"
Gulped my fem MD

--Sarah Smegmatosis, Burntcrotch, Arkansas OU812

11046.
Feelings about SPAM
Rise up in my memory
And drip down my crack

--Odie Peyote

11047.
Competition nixed
One gal ate all of the SPAM
The farting contest

--Fletcher Arrow, FLetch@rrow.com

11048.
Fried SPAM, mac and cheese.
Child choked down with Nestle's Quick.
Choked up much more Quick.

--Hell and SPAMnation

11049.
Ode to SPAM--or owed?
One life, gagging up your gel.
Keep the change, my friend.

--Hell and Spamnation

11050.
i like toast and jam
i love those good, simple things
that's why i like spam

--maria, e.z.2.luv@mailcity.com

11051.
Pink baited rat traps
Fail to lure the hungry pests
And yet, we eat SPAM

--Rat Traps, PB@crotch.net

11052.
Miami Airport
So hot SPAM fries on the tar
Drug dogs sniff it out

--Rat Traps, PB@crotch.net

11053.
Volumes have been penned,
Tomes of SPAMku graffiti.....
Stifle yourself, please.

--Pizza Box, AnOnYmOuS

11054.
Flaming SPAM-kabobs
Streaking across the night sky
In hands of Greek Gods

--Jason K Pander, Atlanta Georgia

11055.
Wretched evil SPAM
Eyeless though I am...I "Si"
And shortly I retch

--Retching finger, retch@speednet.com

11056.
In cliterature
Dildoic SPAM is honored
It stands on its own

--Joey the Bumper, joey@earthnet.com

11057.
Is pink SPAM girl meat?
Or is it for guys to eat?
And the bubble Popped!

--Gina De Pena, Fall River Ma.

11058.
Belief in relief
Following a SPAMBURGER
Hides in gaseous clouds

--Ray Richard, pocketrocket@uk.net

11059.
Porcophobic jocks
Pass gas in biology
SPAM solids also

--Phil O'Donnel, Rindge Tech, Cambridge Ma.

11060.
Meat product of time,
how I shall miss your salt kiss
when all SPAM is spent.

--Michael Pollick, phaedrus65@hotmail.com

11061.
Salmon-hued temptress--
who will be thy whipping boy
when my SPAM days flee?

--Michael Pollick, phaedrus65@hotmail.com

11062.
What is the damn point
Of writing these SPAM haiku?
They're never published!

--John Baglow, baglowj@travel-net.com

11063.
The quality of
SPAM is not strained; it droppeth
Like a gentle thud.

--Mike O'Connor (K.M.O'Connor), mickman@intonet.co.uk

11064.
Eat some SPAM I am
Swallowed it I almost puked
What the hell is it?

--RipCord

11065.
In Boston's Back Bay
Yuppies closet-eat canned SPAM
Then use Binaca

--Mamanino

11066.
Autumnal urgings--
Digging holes, burying SPAM
Squirrels flee in fear

--Freddie Fallback

11067.
Dusty cans of SPAM
Cellar dwellers, time frozen
Waiting, just waiting

--Bapoo D. Dogg, Rocky's Mutt....Brockton Ma.

11068.
And on the eighth day
GOD created Hormel SPAM
And it was good.......NOT!

--Moses O'Reiley, Otoodle aye A

11069.
Life lived on life's terms
SPAM slabs on day-old white bread
Yeech!...but I'm sober

--Betty Boboo, Lynn, Lynn the city of sin........

11070.
Waterfall....Sunset
SPAM shining in the darkness
Plum blossoms....Pinkness

--Igota Itchiting, soskratchit@once

11071.
Cows laugh....ha, ha, hah!
While swine are stripped and shredded
Salted, oinkless flesh

--Laughing Bull, Here piggy, piggy.come

11072.
What's the difference?
Is it Microsoft or SPAM?
You can upload SPAM.

--Lee Malone, Leemalone@aol.com

11073.
White bread, cheddar cheese,
A stream of French's mustard,
And oh! mayonnaise.

--Ben Kovitz, apteryx@chisp.net

11074.
SPAM on my collar
Remnant of last night's secret
Hope no one noticed

--Ronald Buie, shadex@comm.net

11075.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
is all I can think about
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM

--Ronald Buie, shadex@comm.net

11076.
Featurelessly PINK
You are not a GUMMI BEAR
Saline, fishy SPAM

--Flatulina Horrendus, Atlanta Ga.

11077.
Georgia peaches...... Yeech!
Tight canned SPAM booty prevails
Sexual heaven

--Flatulina Horrendus, Atlanta Ga.

11078.
The point of SPAMku?
A Baglownian puzzle
Unsolvable John

--Not John B., not@primenet.com

11079.
Talk to me of SPAM
When shadows of the storm cloud
Linger on the tongue

--Georges Porges, faith@telnet.com

11080.
I once had a cat
She ate all the SPAM around
I was denied SPAM

--Anonymous

11081.
Gran rubbed SPAM gel on
Grandpa's back. He went downhill
Quickly after that...

--Geoff Holme, Geoff_Holme@vos.stratus.com

11082.
The moon was yellow
The SPAM was pink....inviting--
I too was yellow

--No Spam for Sam, sami@alabami.net

11083.
Pink canned luncheon stuff
Unpolitical.....deaf....blind--
Jigsaw of pig parts

--Harold Angelsing, Harkhark

11084.
Elvis and Clinton
Both dead in the backwaters
Thank you Bubba God

--Belinda Beanyone, Eatspam@hormel.net

11085.
Flashing your pink SPAM
Is an illegal gesture
But it's an IN thing

--Chickie Peasie, hommus.tel@home

11086.
Pulled porcine fleshness
Carnivoric chewing gum
For trailer parkers

--Fartcher Owen Assoff, tis all ye can do

11087.
a death row inmate
died eating last meal of SPAM
a cruel irony

--Potty Mouth, steinke1@gte.net

11088.
Poke it with your thumb!
Then squeeze it with your fingers!
Pink rubbery SPAM!

--Anonymous

11089.
Zsa Zsa slaps cop--Ouch!
A nation asks, "WHY?" Perhaps
SPAM deficiency?

--Chris Jehle, Maharis4Me@aol.com

11090.
cloudy gel oozes
out from the mottled pink flesh
sacrifice for key

--Sarah Richardson

11091.
It sits on my shelf
The SPAM, it does not do much
I stare at it now

--Spammy Boy, justiner@integrityonline.com

11092.
Butterfly floats down
I offer it my SPAMwich
Butterfly vomits

--Spammy Boy, justiner@integrityonline.com

11093.
The falling flower
I saw drift back to the branch
Was a spammerfly

--Basho (well, almost), justiner@integrityonline.com

11094.
How cool cut SPAM smells
when carried through the farm gate
as the sun comes up!

--Boncho(well, almost), justiner@integrityonline.com

11095.
Neither TRIX nor TREET
Take this SPAM kid and screw off
Happy?.....Halloween!

--Pumpkinhead

11096.
SPAMs in a can, two
two hungry lips partaking, ret-
ching the night away.

--Iflansburg@aol.com

11097.
Move over, you're done--
Baseball, flat beer, and hot dogs....
It's soccer and SPAM!

--John D. Army

11098.
Send SPAM into space
Show our hospitality
Fool the aliens

--kevin leeds, kevin@learn.net

11099.
Lakes? Cold? Forget 'em!
Minnesota's claim to fame
Is SPAM luncheon meat.

--Lauri Loveridge, lauril@worldnet.att.net

11100.
Pink pearl eraser
Smeared with used K-Y Jelly
And they call it "SPAM"

--CHARLES YEOMAN