SPAM Haiku 13401-13500

Move backwards to Numbers 13301-13400.

13401.
Little Tommy Smith
Left some SPAM for Santa Claus.
Santa left some coal.

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13402.
Old Mother Hubbard's
Cupboard's now filled up with SPAM.
Poor dog's still hungry.

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13403.
In the Cordon Bleu,
Great Parisian cooking school,
SPAM is not allowed.

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

13404.
Let's have a contest.
See who can eat the most SPAM
Without getting sick.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13405.
The Chinese people.
Built a wall around China
Just to keep out SPAM.

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13406.
From a plywood cow
Later, canned and labeled SPAM
Is nothing sacred?

--Zen

13407.
On the seventh day
The good lord created SPAM
God makes mistakes too

--Zen

13408.
How to eat SPAM pie:
Rip the pastry off; Eat it.
Throw the SPAM away

--The Pied Viper, thepiedviper@hotmail.com

13409.
Paris restaurant.
You served me horsemeat? Thank God
--I thought it was SPAM.

--Reed Monroe

13410.
Bike! Cancer be damned!
Lance Armstrong has more balls than
a large can of SPAM.

--Reed Monroe

13411.
Psychoactive drugs?
Nope; I don't need no Prozac.
SPAM-ku keeps me sane!

--Reed Monroe

13412.
Wait; there's someone here.
The Hormel gang, they're stuffing
SPAM through my keyhole.

--Reed Monroe

13413.
Asian mountain peaks
On my new designer sheets--
I'll offer her SPAM.

--Itchibutt Shratchit, crack@bhindnet.com

13414.
In the sacred hills
Warriors long since dead...march--
To the SPAM can beat.

--Spider Rider, legs8@theweb.com

13415.
Freedom from SPAMku
Though it is just venial sin--
Is worth the penance.

--Fr. Along, St. Spigot's Church

13416.
Blind man a-begging
Tin cup, glasses, cane and dog--
And I'm out of SPAM.

--Joey Sixwashers, ClunkX6@keller.com

13417.
Tasted once or twice
The tin of grease, salt, and spice--
Don't! ....That's my advice.

--Colon Impactori

13418.
SPAM gravy biscuits
A true taste of The Old South--
Or was that the west?

--Resident Prozac Convert

13419.
Blue can rides thru France
Pig meat on a bicycle
Is it Lance SPAMstrong?

--dr.soo dho nimh-sez Texas Rules!

13420.
Masturbate with SPAM?
If it is covered in grease
Can I beat that meat?

--dr. soo dho nimh

13421.
Footballs fly in Fall
Chunks of SPAM are thrown in Spring
Pigs in flight all year!

--dr soo dho nimh-phony tax cuts hurt all

13422.
Campaign finance is
money thrown away;why not
use SPAM to get votes?

--dr soo dho nimh

13423.
Smoky Mountain mist
valley morning soon reveals
Fried SPAM for breakfast.

--dr soo dho nimh

13424.
Ralph Cramden and SPAM
Crossed paths but one time in life--
To the moon Alice!

--Jackie Gleesome

13425.
Dunderbeck's Cat SPAM
If you want great night vision--
Fleas ticks and hairballs.

--Save A Cat........For SPAM., Cat SPAM! Real Pet Food.

13426.
Macumba Drummings
Dead chickens, notes of SPAMku--
Scratched in a strange tongue.

--Impanema

13427.
You and I as we
Not-so-identical twins--
Like pink SPAM and Treet.

--Walter Wall Chaos, offdwall@SPAM.com

13428.
Various organs
And pink parts of common swine--
Make SPAMku The Balls!

--Hammond & Estee

13429.
"SPAMku" is Asian
For "Screw all you Yankee dinks!"
But They'll never tell.

--Charlie

13430.
Like birds on a wire
SPAMkuers and haiku whores--
Light but know not why.

--Ima Rednecker, Lick my outhouse yankee!

13431.
SPAM pink plum blossoms
Eaten to shreds by Beatles--
John, paul, george, ringo.

--Yoko Ohyes

13432.
Diminishing health
When you live on SPAMBURGERs--
Fading, failing......Poof!

--Narcicus

13433.
Belching up creamed SPAM
Vomitized carrots and peas
Take on Buddha's form.

--Monk Keybiz, Ito Shalom Chapel of Mary

13434.
Some of us choose SPAM
Others of us choose heath foods
Yet we're all force-fed.

--Uncle SPAM

13435.
SPAM, eggs, bacon, SPAM
That's not got much SPAM in it!
But I don't like SPAM!

--dr.soo dho nimh-Tour de SPAMs?

13436.
Down here in Texas
We cook our SPAM with peppers
Heat treats the meat well!

--dr.soo dho nimh

13437.
I like Shpam with my
vodka, ish very, hiccup,
tasty, yesh, indeed!

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

13438.
A stand-off begins.
Disgruntled postal worker
straps cans on himself.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13439.
He takes hostages
in a Vegan restaurant.
Threatens them with SPAM.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13440.
A policeman screams,
"Hands up! Drop the SPAM. Drop it!"
And the crisis ends.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13441.
Gimpos and SPAM feebs
Pop drooly bubbles for friends--
And friends not yet met.

--R.E. Lee, Fern, So. Carilona

13442.
Your girl's got a dink
A big one made out of SPAM--
And it looks like you.

--Jonathan Apples

13443.
I squat in temple
SPAM can bells Thunk-Thunk! out loud--
My robes need cleansing.

--Ito Chito Ohno, The Sad Monk

13444.
Vicious pink lunchmeat
I pinched a loaf and sang praise--
And SPAM too did pass.

--Ito Chito Ohno, The Sad Monk

13445.
Sure 'tis not Charmin
SPAM pink plum blossom tissue
Butt wipes of haiku

--IRA Wynns

13446.
My fellow butt wipes
Snatcher scratchers of SPAMku
Be gentle be kind.

--Anonymous

13447.
Be gentle be kind
The SPAMku you are narfing
Might have been your own.

--Anonymous

13448.
Up to here in SPAM
At a back room of Hormel
This water Is HOT!

--Jimmy Hoffa

13449.
Dental flossed coochie.
She was that kind of preppy
who never ate SPAM.

--Ms. Land's End, You know who you are Mary.

13450.
Ring ring goes the bell
Mother ate SPAM every day
And the mail man too

--Yasmine Habibi, Unoit, Iran

13451.
Don "I-Man" Imus
Grind pets with Fred into SPAM
But Fred deserves it.

--The I-Woman

13452.
SPAM's really pricey
What happened to the old days
Before heart transplants

--Heliotrope Lips, and rusty hips....So Cal....So Cool!

13453.
Dialogue with SPAM
And you'll have a peaceful night
Dead pigs just don't lie

--Pete Heroff, bfelon@dacan.com

13454.
Roses are red, SPAM
Is pink. Grease is now flowing
Down the kitchen sink.

--Elbert Manabu Shitamoto

13455.
In Martha's Vineyard
Hides Hormel's Mass. Factory.
"More Kennedy meat!"

--Martin H. Booda, booda@ametro.net

13456.
JFK Jr.'s
Plane approaches airport. SPAM
Missile finds its mark.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@ametro.net

13457.
Joe Jr., Jack, Bob,
Michael, John Jr. Lots of
Good fresh corn-fed meat.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@ametro.net

13458.
Bodies plucked from sea.
Navy brings them to the dock.
Hormel trucks roll out.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@ametro.net

13459.
Ask not what you can
Feed from your country. Country
Will feed from you, John.

--Martin H. Booda, booda@ametro.net

13460.
SPAMessence lingers
Clouds of sunset glowing bright--
Pink panties smoking.

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

13461.
Boots, rope, and canned SPAM
Towering mountain peaks call--
I hear.....I eat SPAM..

--Mount Monadnock

13462.
Malleable pink
Twisting turning elastic--
Colon shaped lunch loaf.

--Colon Benders, Jeff@123x.com

13463.
Hot SPAM back washer
I had met her in Tokyo
Rubbed me the wrong way

--Itchie Scratchie, Pigeon racer

13464.
Pink cube jiggles in
can. Reflections on tin are
pink haze. Lovely loaf.

--Anonymous

13465.
SPAM in ice cream dish
Fruit, nuts, syrup, and whipped cream
A SPAMana split

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13466.
SPAMMA Parmesan
"Mangia, mangia, mangia, eh?"
"Grazie. Pero no."

--Cathy, DonCathy2

13467.
Dog owners now sue.
Their pets died as a result
of second-hand SPAM.

--Reed Monroe, Reed_Monroe@hotmail.com

13468.
Projex Surf n' Turf
SPAM, crack, a can of sardines--
Peep for the 5-0.

--Projex Lifer, Lafrack/Iraq *Budda-budda-budda!

13469.
Vine covered cottage
Chewed SPAM cans strewn everywhere
Yogi Bear found dead!

--Jellystone Ranger

13470.
Verdant slab of SPAM
Fuzzie wuzzies growing thing
SPAM I never ate

--Ivana Pukagin, Ivpag@scedu.com

13471.
SPAMple the good life
Be Honest Open Willing--
Pay your HMO.

--Gene Poole "Ernest", SC, We shall rise agin!

13472.
Summertime and the
SPAM is easy and greasy
Hot slab on a plate

--dr soo dho nimh

13473.
The virtue of pig
Is that it is what it is--
And there's no romance.

--Dexter Welfleet

13474.
Fireflies when squished up
Make your finger glow bright green--
Green like vintage SPAM.

--Dexter Welfleet

13475.
Harry carried SPAM
Slugs ate the lotus blossoms--
Geisha sells tuna.

--Obitchi Ubugmi, Osaka, Japan

13476.
Wending my way home
I find the SPAM crumbs I dropped--
That nothing would eat.

--Herkimer Meridith, Danvers, Ma.

13477.
Soccer, soccer moms
Both bite the big pink tube SPAM--
And use their fat heads.

--Bubba's Broads, Manyplace USA

13478.
Lotus blossoms bloom
with their roots deep in the mud--
SPAM of the plant world.

--Mahbebe Gunn, starvinJ@india.com

13479.
SPAM for president
It's greasy, fat, pink, and cheap--
Hey, we have that now.

--Capt. SPAMerica, Vote with your sexual organs!

13480.
In the Temple SPAM
Loony pigs pray to Porky--
While they're preyed upon.

--HOR MEL Gracie, Priestess of Grease This!

13481.
Grease falls of pig fat
Frozen Samurai rivers--
The waltzes of SPAM.

--Carl Porter, Rindge Tech.

13482.
SPAM on my dip stick
It looks like I'm a squat low
Hopper Aerobics

--Tom Tom, Drum@usc.edu

13483.
Just like those soup cans:
Andy Warhol ever do
any SPAM lithos?

--Issa SPAMku really poetry?

13484.
Microsoft spell check
flags "Hormel" lists "horrible"
as correct spelling.

--Issa SPAMku really poetry?

13485.
Hormel IPO:
SPAM.com lists on NASDAQ
Stock market implodes

--Issa SPAMku really poetry?

13486.
SPAM and Miracle
Whip that hogie into shape--
Your future with meat.

--Johnny Boyle, Jboyle44@h2onet.com

13487.
Friendly fire killed Paw
He got lit up for his kin--
Barbecuing SPAM.

--Victor Vargas

13488.
Samurai Geishas
Can toss their cookies and yours
After eating SPAM.

--Victor Vargas

13489.
Rainbows, alarm clocks
Glockenspiels, dingleberries
Then there's simply SPAM

--Howard Huge

13490.
Becky let me sniff
But I tasted not her SPAM--
Life's little blessings.

--To: Fat Welfare Becky, And her ankle biters

13491.
Your "can" is mangled
You've been labeled Queen of SPAM
But I did love you

--To: Fat Welfare Becky, And her ankle biters

13492.
Slime covered wheel chock
For mama-in-law's auto
1 lb. of pink SPAM

--Barton, Hain't Ga. somethin'?

13493.
I'll trade you this SPAM
For just one day at a time--
Bang! Boom! To next trade.

--Barton, Hain't Ga. somethin'?

13494.
Florida Keys breeze
Pig in a blender with ease!
SPAMarita-ville!

--dr soo dho nimh

13495.
SPAM squirts at midnight
Loud bowels cry in distress
Next time, no hot sauce!

--dr soo dho nimh

13496.
SPAM authors long to
see their poetry in print.
Post those SPAM haikus!

--dr soo dho nimh

13497.
Wet green SPAM, stale bread
Gods enjoy the penance joke--
Laugh and pee themselves.

--Freddie O'brien

13498.
Buddha big and fat
Ate SPAM whenever he sat
Also peed and shat

--Tao Jones

13499.
Down memory lanes
Life rolls huge pink bowling balls
Of SPAM right at us.

--Tao Jones

13500.
The SPAM can Can-Can
A lively ethnic folk dance
On porcelain laps.

--Paula Wannacracka