SPAM Haiku 14001-14100

Move backwards to Numbers 13901-14000.

14001.
I'm a SPAM-Ku star.
Don't you think? 'Cause all I eat
is meat bits of pink.

--Tbone4

14002.
SPAM the eternal
muse does not age. Great texture
is always in style.

--Tbone4

14003.
Being on a SPAM-
Ku roll is better than do-
ing a hot tailpipe.

--Tbone4

14004.
It's better to quit
while you're ahead. When will I
see you again SPAM?

--Tbone4

14005.
Songs of Innocence
"Some are born to endless SPAM"
Is how it should be

--perkin@freeuk.com

14006.
With your pink buttocks
Hidden beneath that blue dress
How I long for you!

--perkin@freeuk.com

14007.
I still hold it safe,
the sandwich you couldn't eat.
Ne m'oubliez pas!

--perkin@freeuk.com

14008.
Even at my age
I dream of school SPAM fritters
How did they make them?

--perkin@freeuk.com

14009.
Also in diet
I put aside things childish
Never to return

--perkin@freeuk.com

14010.
The supermarket
Among all the tins of meats
I can't forget you

--perkin@freeuk.com

14011.
Chance is a fine thing
That brought you to my kitchen.
Serendipity!

--perkin@freeuk.com

14012.
From whole SPAM diced SPAM
Like the wild ferment of yeast
Now reproducing!

--perkin@freeuk.com

14013.
I defecate SPAM.
I also like to eat it.
An endless cycle.

--Anonymous

14014.
Tripe without gristle
FD&C Number 5
Eye of Newt and--SPAM!

--Bill Zanzinger, jesrun5@msn.com

14015.
Run, little piglets
Metal cans, three steps behind
Your future can't wait

--Alan Christ, alanc@perrydean.com

14016.
dharma ci lega
e nienti di piú stringe
il resto é SPAM

--duestorie

14017.
There is exactly
One can of SPAM remaining
On the pinewood shelf

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

14018.
SPAM is in a can
It sits watching its killer
SPAM is square meat yes

--The Masked Avenger

14019.
I'm sorry that you
Tried to steal my tin of SPAM
I hope you eat it

--Dr. Fritz, docfritz@aol.com

14020.
Yuppies in Boston
Dine on SPAM sushi at brunch--
Filet of Swanboat.

--Hugh Loos Lunch Wagon

14021.
Fried meat and onions
Philadelphia SPAMwich
There ain't no love here

--SPAMu D. Whale

14022.
SPAMkuers I'm sick
Wrap your lips round my red nose
And suck the SPAM gel

--Jose Felicemondo Maravilloso

14023.
DAK's better than SPAM
And harder to find in stores
Unless you're a Dane

--The Great Dane, Woof-woo-woof, Wrrr whoof!

14024.
Kill all the damned whales
Grind 'em up into pink SPAM
One whale of a meal

--Pinkpiece, Save the whales! For what? SPAM!

14025.
Pink meat pick-up line
Blue-tin babes are on my mind
Slam, SPAM; thank you ma'am!

--JT and James - Noted SPAMmers

14026.
Mountains of pink SPAM
Everest recycle heaps
Smile on the Deep South

--Colonel Kornn, aka "POP"

14027.
I cannot moon you
There is SPAM in my bloomers
It's not twat you think

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

14028.
Back the DAK attack
Don't Treet yourself or do SPAM
Your butt's meant to smile

--Smiley Butt

14029.
SPAM in your full gut
Purrs you like a sex kitten
In the litter box

--CAThy, CAThy, Litterbox Hotel

14030.
Ahh, wonderful SPAM!
Is that what I would look like
squished into a can?

--The Chia Rhino

14031.
You took my chillun'
Ground 'em into Hormel SPAM
And write bad haiku

--Oinky D. Pigg, I be a Vegan

14032.
Goddess Hillary
You are the Supreme Swiness
Why are you not SPAM?

--Oinky D. Pigg, I be a Vegan

14033.
SPAM kills viruses
It stops them dead in their tracks
Shortens your life too!

--Get tested for HCV/HBV TODAY!, Most people don't know that they're infected.

14034.
I cannot judge SPAM
As my taste buds are burnt crisp
More Interferon?

--Delete HCV, Please Visit: http://www.hepnet.com/

14035.
The SPAM long left out
may turn brown in October
like the leaves outside.

--perkin@freeuk.com

14036.
The SPAM oracle.
Ask, and you will hear the truth.
"What will be my lunch?"

--perkin@freeuk.com

14037.
The SPAM oracle.
Stoop close and hear it whisper
"Oink, oink, there's no point."

--perkin@freeuk.com

14038.
The SPAM oracle.
Ask it "What's it like to die?"
"Diff'rent from the sty."

--perkin@freeuk.com

14039.
The SPAM oracle.
"Does she love me not/love me?"
"Not your luncheon meat."

--perkin@freeuk.com

14040.
The SPAM oracle.
"When e'er can I happy be?"
"When you are like me."

--perkin@freeuk.com

14041.
Pink Ghetto Cocktails
SPAM cubes in warm 40 oz.
Thank you Uncle Sam

--Ghetto' Chickahn

14042.
OK Doctor Johns
Bent and finger wave ready
Ooops! You've just been spammed

--Iben Dover, SPAMsquits@once.com

14043.
The key to knowledge
The banality of man
Is found on canned SPAM

--SPAMicula SPAMiculi

14044.
In the White Mountains
The Old Man ate lots of SPAM
And don't he look good.

--Ureena Miway

14045.
Seasoned with Prozac
Deep basted with Prolixin--
I'm crazy for SPAM.

--Cho Cha Choka, deepv@crotch.com

14046.
I no longer work
I'm addicted to SPAMku
It fills my hunger

--Fr. Along DeWay

14047.
SPAM and a bed pan
Five-Dimension Modern Art
Don't forger the Bud

--Submit to SPAMku!, While there's still time

14048.
Impacted colon
Prostate finger wave today
A gerbil named SPAM

--San Fran Frank, but not very

14049.
can pigs really fly?
just ask NASA astronauts
they're SPAM in a can

--Anonymous

14050.
The SPAM Oracle:
It knows as you cannot know
You are what you are

--perkin@freeuk.com

14051.
The SPAM Oracle:
Does pork meat know how to love?
First love the pork meat.

--perkin@freeuk.com

14052.
Elvis is still dead
Buried in a great SPAM can
The fat boy loved dope

--Victor Etup DeSPAM

14053.
Consider now SPAM.
Each can is identical
And we are all one.

--perkin@freeuk.com

14054.
SPAM three times a day
Beats the hell out of working
Life in the shelter

--Arthur Smith/Maniac, Bangor, Maine

14055.
John Cho once wrote me...
"Here's the SPAMku you just sent:"
"Return to Sender"

--Johnny Tartas , Chelsea, Ma. 02150

14056.
the SPAM is tasty
like a big juicy browneye
lick it feathered friend

--browneye

14057.
Khalillah is great
She ate the SPAM on her plate
And that is the end

--khalillah hill, binkyboo10@hotmail.com

14058.
SPAM I Lust For You
Gooey Wetness Dripping Deep
Gelatinous Joy

--Anonymous

14059.
Wrapped in silver chains
Pink flesh bound in black leather
SPAM bondage is hot

--Anonymous

14060.
for the love of SPAM
everybody weeps its loss
when it explodes one

--Anonymous

14061.
for every SPAM there
is an equal reaction
that leaves sticky chunks

--Anonymous

14062.
Beady winter eyes
Stare through my frosted windows
It's time for SPAM stew

--Jacques Froste, slowlyiTurn@distime.com

14063.
Immunology
There's none for SPAM or Hep C
Get your butts tested

--Play Now, Pay later, Please visit: www.hepnet.com

14064.
Millennium food
Stinky Pork And Mucosa
It's great for the Kids

--Bullets and SPAM, bs@hormel.com

14065.
Harken to the call
Of pig in the can pink SPAM
Eat it.....start harking!

--Whore Mel(anie), pinkmeat@the y.come

14066.
Mother always said
"Eat your SPAM or go to bed."
That's why she is dead.

--Dingus Mac Phearson, wiltedkilt@pms.com

14067.
if SPAM = pork
then let pork = fatty
chunks x random(CRAP)

--robotnikdesign.com

14068.
i give SPAM to cat
ran out of cat food today
no cat tomorrow

--robotnikdesign.com

14069.
good day for picnic
beautiful weather, hot sun
mistake to cook SPAM

--robotnikdesign.com

14070.
big stockpile of SPAM
now prepared for Y2K
"hello there, doomsday"

--robotnikdesign.com

14071.
Eating SPAM daily
And you'll do it like rabbits--
Crap in little balls.

--Abbot Dagnabit D.D.L.

14072.
Mayonnaise, white bread,
SPAM, and a glass of white milk.
Call it WASP soul food!

--Sticks, Sticks114@aol.com

14073.
Took a SPAM ku break.
Haven't written for some time.
Now I'm hooked again.

--S Bookner

14074.
Oh! Dear can of SPAM.
I am yours eternally.
And you, you are mine.

--Trisha, tdykstra@hotmail.com

14075.
As Eliot wrote,
"April is the cruelest month
SPAM, the cruelest food."

--Craig Beresford, crbdmsb@ameritech.net

14076.
Tomorrow morning
I'll probably have some SPAM
With my eggs and toast

--Craig Beresford, crbdmsb@ameritech.net

14077.
Pink SPAM is a prince
In lands of porcelain gods
Brown SPAM is the king

--Bob N. Bidet

14078.
There is no bad SPAM
There's plenty of crap SPAMku--
We see what you wrote.

--Poets lower than SPAM

14079.
Panty pheromones
Or is it just plain old SPAM?
Scratch and sniff (right here)

--Spacie Gracie, You can kiss my SPAM!

14080.
SPAM I'd like to write
Of your delicious flavor--
But it would be lies.

--Hilary Pizza

14081.
New Yorkers are dumb
Why else would Hil'ry SPAM them?
She just loves New York.

--Big Applesauce

14082.
The Hormel SPAM can
The Ark of the Covenant--
I don't dare touch it.

--Bruce Kelly

14083.
Pink prism of shit
Jimmy Dean is jealous of
His meat doesn't bounce.

--Pig

14084.
I just ate some SPAM.
Now I don't feel very well.
Call a doctor, please.

--Cathy, DonCathy2@AOL.com

14085.
A SPAM in the hand
Is worth two in the old bush--
Can you spare a bush?

--Reggie Wedgie

14086.
It is gawd awful
And you know when you've got SPAM
Do you have Hep-C?

--Hep C Info and Support go to:, http://www.ia.net/~webbsite/index.html

14087.
Eureka SPAMku
You don't smell too good yourself
Revolting peasants

--Sandy Claws

14088.
Lost cash in Vegas.
Destitute on lonely Strip.
Only afford SPAM.

--S Bookner

14089.
P-P-P-Porky
P-P-P-P-P-Pig says:
"D-D-Don't eat SPAM!"

--S Bookner

14090.
SPAM Smegmatosis
The malodorous perfume--
Of Monica's breath.

--And SPAM spem

14091.
Oinking pink piglets
Born of Mother Nature's womb
SPAMified for you.

--Betsy Wetsy

14092.
The Reform Party
SPAM of political ilk
The three winged eagle?

--Pols R. Trump

14093.
Cooked in butter fat
An odd little wobble cube
Good with brown sugar

--Matthew, mschie@tir.com

14094.
Sassy pink temptress
Jelly peeking from blue can
My fork is waiting

--Mike Brenner

14095.
sun falls and rises
chatroom lovers disconnect
lone man, SPAM unite

--chris.romig@turner.com

14096.
Vegetarians
Know SPAM is the antichrist
Reincarnated

--Kris Kemp

14097.
SPAMurgency Ward
Hydrate them all with SPAM goo--
No withdrawals here

--Whore Mel D. Queen

14098.
SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM
and more SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM
served on SPAM, SPAM, SPAM.

--Michael Cheever, mikchee@aol.com

14099.
Tiny broken toe
wrapped with rotting SPAM bandage.
Doctor says, "Sue me."

--Mark Yannone, mjyannone@aol.com

14100.
if i was your tongue
lying fat in my earlobe
i would lie like SPAM

--moree