SPAM Haiku 14701-14800

Move backwards to Numbers 14601-14700.

14701.
Life prior to SPAM
was a cold, meaningless void.
SPAM, essence of life.

--Zoinks, jsikes@email.com

14702.
Canned porky pig pad
Doubled as a sink sponge. Now
All is spick-and-SPAM!

--cjereb@dttus.com

14703.
SPAM inside the can
Or even on the outside
It's still volatile

--Hazen W, aizudude@aol.com

14704.
To write about SPAM
In seventeen syllables
Can be very dif...

--Francis Haines, Francis.Haines@gissings.co.uk

14705.
SPAM. Chopped Pork and Ham.
Is that really what it is?
I think not, somehow.

--Jamie Gladden, jamieg@syslogic.com

14706.
Prankster buys Grade A's
In bulk. Spies SPAM. Pink-hued light-
Bulb goes off inside.

--cjereb@dttus.com

14707.
Never eaten SPAM?
Just don't let it stop you from
Savoring SPAM-ku.

--cjereb@dttus.com

14708.
To liberate me
To please me with tasty SPAM
Rub it on my chest

--elreekie, elreekie@aol.com

14709.
Hey come over here
Whoa! A SPAM chunk in your teeth!
You have real class man

--elreekie, elreekie@aol.com

14710.
Shelf life infinite
SPAM the support of all life
It won't betray you

--elreekie, elreekie@aol.com

14711.
Gelatinous cube
How do you receive that shape?
Prism of pig butt

--Tom Morris, kg4cyx@yahoo.com

14712.
Squish SPAM in your toes
Mix it with hairy toejams
Chunky and funky

--Elreekie, Elreekie@aol.com

14713.
OH MEAT UN-LIKE HAM
SALTY HAM-LIKE MEAT, BUT NOT
ON BUN, WITH KETCHUP

--Lew Turner, lewkare@aol.com

14714.
SPAM sits on a rock;
Is it the only one here?
SPAM and Booda; Yup.

--John Schaaf, SkierPro1@aol.com

14715.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
SPAM beautiful SPAM

--Anonymous

14716.
I'd kiss you now, dear
a delightful meal, but your
breath smells of mutts' nuts.

--Anonymous

14717.
silent meat lozenge
shines with gelatinous goo
why do you beckon?

--Clinton Wolfe, clwolfe@indiana.edu

14718.
And Now a SPAM Ku
With a real weak opening
And a worse ending

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14719.
A SPAM Commercial
Happy Family Eating...
The Other Pink Meat

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14720.
Thin Slices of SPAM
Wrapped Gently Around A Light
A Sexy Pink Glare

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14721.
Pink meat ritual.
Unholy investiture.
PentaSPAM is born.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14722.
Monolithic block.
Looming on the horizon.
Ape brandishing key.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14723.
Experimental
SPAM coloration failure
Green eggs and SPAM test

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14724.
I lost the SPAM key
I'm forced to open the can
With my power tools

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14725.
Radiator leak
Press SPAM into the damage
Heat will cure it there

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14726.
Searing SPAM in flame
Observe, there are no grill marks
It is synthetic

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14727.
It's a medical
breakthrough from the past, it is
artificial flesh.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14728.
hidden in the can
is a treasure of taste, it's
tasty pork goodness

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14729.
thick greasy slices
fried crisp within boiling lard:
bad cholesterol

--Matthew Rubi, mrubi@lacdc.org

14730.
Challenge in Kitchen
Stadium -- the Iron Chefs
must labor with SPAM.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14731.
Sultry can of meat
Let fly with your sweet perfume
You taunt my tube steak

--Airiq-1

14732.
Pink and jelled, oh YEAH
I yearn to remove the can
And take you right now

--Airiq - 2

14733.
Loving you is hard
Just one SPAM-slam-thank-you-ma'am
Who will understand?

--Airiq - 3

14734.
i eat SPAM all day
mold it into animals
playful finger food

--SPAM gurl

14735.
wet, slobbery glop
my dog eats it any day
maybe its his tongue

--SPAM gurl

14736.
SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM
Squirrels, Possums, And Monkeys
Roadkill on the street

--SPAM gurl

14737.
multicultural
Asia to America
tastes good in fried rice

--SPAM gurl

14738.
One SPAMku a year
Helps keep that void in my life
Free from sick ole' SPAM!

--Trevor Eldredge, trevor@rhodesbread.com

14739.
Thinking back to when,
I keyed opened that blue can.
Throwing up more SPAM

--CURHAN

14740.
American Pie
remade with SPAM, instead of
apples, anyone?

--scumbag

14741.
Por que pig? C'est bon!
Ah, sweet mystery of shelf
Life I have found you

--FastFilm, FastFilm

14742.
Place the can of SPAM
under my car tire just so.
Presto! A lube job!

--Mark Silva/Faroudja Laboratories, Inc., msilva@faroudja.com

14743.
A glob of pink goo
Sits on my dinner plate now
And stays, unwanted

--Scumbag

14744.
I like processed meat
It's a yummy yummy treat
So get out the SPAM!

--Nevielle, bo11ocks2ya@hotmail.com

14745.
Existential angst:
despite its zesty flavor,
SPAM won't fill the void.

--Fozzie

14746.
Selfish of my SPAM?
Hands off, brother! Wars have been
fought over less. Back!

--Fozzie

14747.
i like to eat SPAM
every day you can eat SPAM
it makes you horny

--Cyn70

14748.
Sexual and sweet,
Meaty, pink and unctuous.
Can be arousing.

--Anonymous

14749.
psychedelic SPAM
that's what elreekie gave me
to flee the matrix

--busty, wonderbusty@aol.com

14750.
An income tax tip!
Write off your million SPAM cans
Standard deduction

--Supersucka

14751.
Childhood mem'ry: SPAM
Reminds us why we bothered
Risking adulthood

--Scumbag

14752.
Determinists say
We have no choices, but SPAM
Argues for freewill

--Scumbag, leo.mazur@cec.eu.int

14753.
There are many sites
With "Haiku" in their title
Idiot SPAM reigns

--Anonymous

14754.
What meaning has life:
Alexei V. Andreyev;
Do Russians have SPAM?

--Anonymous

14755.
The senryu of SPAM
Unfold their sweetness slowly
Where's the fricking joke?

--Scumbag

14756.
Gift That Keeps Giving
Can Of Ham In My Stocking
Santa Brass Knuckled

--JohnnyMopp

14757.
Oh Pretty Pink Meat
Your Beauty Wows the Masses
Heaven in a Can

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14758.
You open the can
And stare at what is inside
Delicous pink prize

--Matt Wetzel, Jixton@mediaone.net

14759.
I Run Track for Croft
And Follow his Track Diet
Does this mean no SPAM?

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14760.
What is wrong with this?
I'm dazzled by the numbers
Fourteen Grand SPAMku!

--Matt Wetzel, Jixton@mediaone.net

14761.
When Cut Correctly
By a Proper SPAM Artist
Edible Artwork

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14762.
At home all alone
What to prepare for dinner
Entirely SPAM

--Matt Wetzel, Jixton@mediaone.net

14763.
You Like this Puddy
The Beauty of the SPAM-Ku
And You're Missing Out

--Nate Smith, thepeel@bananaman.com

14764.
All lined in a row
Stacks of SPAM in the shelter
Waiting for the bomb

--Matt Wetzel, Jixton@mediaone.net

14765.
Mechanically
separated chicken is
not in our product.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14766.
Dad would often cook
SPAM, macaroni, and cheese
Childhood memory

--Susu, SusuToo@aol.com

14767.
Unnaturally
pinkish block of pork product
said to be undyed.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14768.
SPAM does not have bones
Slice it with impunity
How were they removed?

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14769.
You're not authorized
to know what is in the SPAM.
That is classified.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14770.
SPAM fnord SPAM fnord SPAM
You are not authorized to
Know what line one means

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14771.
to be one with SPAM
you must focus your chi and
absorb its essence

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14772.
sitting at my desk
composing SPAM haiku I
find I have no life

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14773.
SPAM can in a sock
makes an effective last-ditch
self-defense weapon.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14774.
tragic glue mishap
has permanently bound a
SPAM can to my butt

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14775.
SPAM is flammable
Without its taste it would be
Alternative fuel

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14776.
Hormel tolerates
SPAM parody sites for the
free publicity.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14777.
See how it bounces
when you drop it on the floor.
The dust adds flavor.

--Nick Johnson, NSJ0309@aol.com

14778.
An old, creaking door;
A can from times long since passed;
AH! The ghost of SPAM!

--Nick Johnson, NSJ0309@aol.com

14779.
Hormel helpdesk techs
are here to help you with SPAM
opening problems.

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14780.
frying SPAM in lard
assassination disguised
as a heart attack

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14781.
experimental
SPAM bullets violated
military law

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14782.
human genes are known
now scientists begin the
SPAM genome project

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14783.
people have composed
fifteen thousand SPAM ads here
Hormel should pay us

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14784.
immense destructive
forces are unleashed when SPAM
fusion is achieved

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14785.
SPAM can rusted through
glistening gel seeks out life
hazmat team en route

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14786.
starting to get tired
have probably submitted
same haiku three times

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14787.
SPAM flows out of can
glistening in the twilight
sickening wet splortch

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14788.
Dungeons and Dragons
(trademark) game in Bob's basement
SPAM golems attack

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14789.
test marketing SPAM
in a brand new flavor, it's
beef teriyaki

--Chuck Beard, cnbeard@multipro.com

14790.
she opens for me
i lick her meaty curtains
juices everywhere

--chris crewe, jungleboi@hotmail.com

14791.
snapping blue metal
cut thumb rises into mouth
blood mixed with SPAM juice

--Tom Lewis, tch@jps.net

14792.
I know I should floss,
yet I wish that SPAM's gristle
could linger longer.

--Fozzie

14793.
"That would be D: SPAM"
"Is that your final answer?"
I know this stuff cold.

--gh

14794.
What is left for me?
The steel sheath and coil bound key
my only keepsakes.

--Robin McDonald, immickey@earthlink.net

14795.
I'm crying big tears!
Cherry blossoms are no good
When deep-fried with SPAM.

--Eel Woman, themole@sympatico.ca

14796.
I am in pain now
I am hurting with desire
I am barfing SPAM

--Damian Terrell, proscout2000@yahoo.com

14797.
bucky and cooter
covered my SPAM with litter
next to kitty poop

--MILHOUSE

14798.
be my lover, SPAM
and touch me in the morning
you stained my pillow

--MILHOUSE

14799.
late night, street corner
gave a hand job for three bucks
I NEEDED MY SPAM!

--MILHOUSE

14800.
nonoxynol 9?
I prefer my SPAMicide
put your jim-hat on

--MILHOUSE