SPAM Haiku 14901-15000

Move backwards to Numbers 14801-14900.

14901.
Slab of mutant pig
Bleeds out its rancid juices--
SPAM Jerky curing.

--tbone4

14902.
Twist the key, slime juice
Gelatinous glob of meat
Meat? I don't think so.

--Connie H., ConnieInAL@AOL.com

14903.
Yum-slimy can scum
Pink cube of salty pig ooze
SPAM--wonderful SPAM

--Connie

14904.
Nuclear Holocaust.
Cher and cockroaches survive.
They survive on SPAM.

--Aaron and Cassandra, aaron@webkromatic.com

14905.
Ethyl Merman Found
Our SPAM, Then Ethyl Merman
Sat On A German

--Johnny Mopp

14906.
Flouting censor's bans
A pink starlet wows the fans
SPAM debuts at Cannes

--dave slade

14907.
Must cut head off this
immortal pork product. There
Can Be Only One.

--Chuck Beard

14908.
a wartime legend
enemy bullet stopped by
heroic SPAM can

--Chuck Beard

14909.
during the Gulf War
Iraqi stocks of SPAM gas
were feared to exist

--Chuck Beard

14910.
SPAM is not all bad
why do we get pleasure from
satirizing it?

--Chuck Beard

14911.
From Kennedy's head
SPAM blooms violently pink.
Back, and to the left.

--james, simply james

14912.
Submerged in hot oil
batter goes crisp and fat melts.
The SPAM fritter cooks.

--Curt

14913.
talisman your key
make that sound you bastard you
hooked on this shit, damn

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14914.
pink blanket baby
warm secure so tasty yes
gold toast i beg yawn

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14915.
same song boy leaves home
boy meets cafeteria
alas boy meets SPAM

--stinkerton@webtv,net

14916.
foot starts to drop yikes
sidewalk deposit too weird
stutter-step just SPAM

--stinkerton@webtv.net

14917.
the SPAM in the can
seven years in the making
the key has vanished

--Hugh G. Rection, mexican@anti-social.com

14918.
blue can suicide
golden top reflects the light
addiction consumed

--Hugh G. Rection, mexican@anti-social.com

14919.
Lost in nothingness
I am one with everything
A SPAM nirvana

--WILD T.

14920.
It has been too long
SPAMku how I have missed you
Hope you feel the same

--WILD T

14921.
SPAM is so grody
It is more than disgusting
yuck, nasty, pewy

--Gina

14922.
SPAM is so raunchy
my mom eats it like gourmet
she should be checked out

--abby

14923.
SPAM is so nasty
My friend eats it like candy
I hope she won't croak

--Kelly

14924.
SPAM smells like dog food
my dog won't even eat it
I wonder who does???

--Kelly

14925.
SPAM smells like dog poop
I can smell it blocks away
I cannot stand it!

--Gina

14926.
SPAM is like sushi
raw and very disgusting
eew, yuck, and nasty

--Anonymous

14927.
I closed the door to
the microwave oven and
watched as the SPAM glowed.

--bignum1@webtv.net

14928.
The SPAM interview
Sinks dolefully in the night
Degraded and hurt

--San, Slsfelipe@aol.com

14929.
O joy, nothing here
Emptiness is a trickster
SPAM waits on the shelf

--San, Slsfelipe@aol.com

14930.
Frozen SPAM on ice
Insert small stick and behold
Ah sweet pigsicle

--finbar

14931.
After having known
the violent extruder,
my sphincter's caress...

--Dan Roettger, droettger@clynch.com

14932.
SPAM blossom tree blooms
Blue and yellow can petals
Glisten like picnic

--mike falcon, mfalcon@adiyh.com

14933.
I think I could be
a great surgeon. After all,
I slice SPAM quite well.

--Fozzie

14934.
. . . or I could be an
oncologist. "Well, sir, looks
like a SPAM tumor."

--Fozzie

14935.
Would you allow me
to strap SPAM loaves to my feet
and skate on your tile?

--Fozzie

14936.
Enough silliness.
Time to 'fess up. I hate SPAM.
It's horribly foul.

--Fozzie

14937.
laid flat on a plate
pink with gristle finger in
good love in a can

--stinkerton@webtv.net, stinkerton@webtv.net

14938.
Pig jumps in the can
Spice it, and seal it, add heat
Pig will jump no more...

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14939.
Piggish ambition
Immortality as SPAM
Canned pig never dies

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14940.
Author ambition
Poet's immortality
SPAM-ku never dies

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14941.
Think of Diet SPAM
How can it be different?
No snouts, only tails!

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14942.
This is disaster
It is inside, I am out
I have lost the key

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14943.
Hello again, SHAM!
I am having another
unproductive day.

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14944.
SHAM, you need a new
category: "Meta-ku"
SPAM-ku 'bout SPAM-ku.

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14945.
Large snake swallows pig;
the square loaf is eaten whole.
SPAMACONDA dines.

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14946.
Meta-SPAM-ku is
self-referential SPAM-ku:
Meta-ku for short.

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14947.
Now there's a new type
Recursive Meta-SPAM-ku:
Meta-Meta-ku.

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14948.
Can you handle it?
SPAM is the He-Man's kabob,
greasing the skewer.

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14949.
Inscrutible mass,
gelatin keeps its secrets.
Will you finish that?

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14950.
There's fifteen thousand
SPAM-ku; none about UNIX.
I'll fix that right now!

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14951.
Good thing I had lunch
When I read all the SPAM-ku
I might get hungry.

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14952.
I plotted SPAM-ku
dates on an Excel spreadsheet.
The growth is linear.

--Bob Jonkman, bjonkman@sobac.com

14953.
If I am hungry
So too must be the butcher
If you open can

--Nicholas Hoag, no_opinion@hotmail.com

14954.
She is firm when cold,
yet she is fluid when warm--
my gelatin love.

--Alex Silbajoris, asilbajo@hotmail.com

14955.
Went to a doctor
other than Seuss, who prescribed
egg whites and SPAM Lite.

--Nancy Davis, ssmith@us.edu

14956.
"Would you eat green eggs
and SPAM? Would you eat them from
the can?" "No, I won't."

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14957.
"Would you eat green eggs
and SPAM?" "No, Sam-I-am, the
eggs weren't green pre-SPAM."

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14958.
use it to stuff holes.
make a net to catch dawson.
use SPAM, dont eat it.

--lisa, lisuarte@hotmail.com

14959.
SPAMmy,real SPAMmy,
Meaty and annoying, mean
SPAM is very mean

--Bill Clinton

14960.
Station I. D. or
a disguised sponsor promo
says "I am SPAM-fi."

--Rancho Fiasco, ranchofiasco@yahoo.com

14961.
It is now time for
SPAM, it's the ayatollah
of rock and roller.

--Anonymous

14962.
new Anne Rice novel
Interview With The SPAMpire
newest bestseller

--Chuck Beard

14963.
No Limit Posted
"SPAM On Sale--99 cents"
Hawaiians Riot

--Rancho Fiasco, ranchofiasco@yahoo.com

14964.
conspirators lurk
SPAMolutionaries plan
The Pink World Order

--Chuck Beard

14965.
childhood memories
SPAM sandwiches in summer
ah, happy pink times

--Chuck Beard

14966.
Everyone says SPAM
is made of unspeakable
things, do labels lie?

--Chuck Beard

14967.
Star Trek episode:
Luckless guard and alien
goo meet. "He's SPAM, Jim."

--Chuck Beard

14968.
please give me peanuts
dip them in SPAM for flavor
call them all SPAM nuts

--Kacy Cavadeas, goblin_boo@hotmail.com

14969.
Eating SPAM bestows
psychic gifts. This is power's
price, are you worthy?

--Chuck Beard

14970.
troops out of ammo
threatened to pull SPAM can pin
enemy gave up

--Chuck Beard

14971.
distilling the SPAM
into its purest essence
beware of its touch

--Chuck Beard

14972.
"The Blob is coming!"
"Let's feed it some SPAM! It died!"
A shorter movie

--Chuck Beard

14973.
Not everyone shares
my opinions about SPAM.
That's because they're fools.

--Fozzie

14974.
"King of the whole earth,"
I mutter. "Yes. With a SPAM
trove the size of Rome."

--Fozzie Prufrock

14975.
Not till the guards sleep
do I furtively suck the
SPAM dry as a sponge.

--Fozzie

14976.
succulent SPAM slice
tastes purrfect to the felines
no more kitty food

--kacy cavadeas, goblin_boo@hotmail.com

14977.
Do my SPAMku here
count as published poetry?
Famous poet now?

--Chuck Beard

14978.
I say SPAM I am
but I will not always be
reviled and failing.

--Anonymous

14979.
awake blue can sky
SPAM a blooming all around
must be Alaska

--Drake, drake@vel

14980.
It's Email and Food
And it can often be rude
But is it Viral?

--legalyste@bigfoot.com

14981.
SPAM and Wasabi
Does beat SPAM and Horseradish
Tabasco is Best

--legalyste@bigfoot.com

14982.
looks like spongy meat
SPAM comes in a little can
great, now i am sick

--Pork, Interrupted

14983.
All throughout this site
They're dead but they don't know it
"I see SPAM people"

--Cedric SoulStyle

14984.
At Hormel dot com
SPAM is not "Ham," nor is it
"Meat." Makes you wonder.

--Scott Smith, ssmith@us.edu

14985.
sinister meat plot
gel-covered infiltrator
lurking in the can

--Chuck Beard

14986.
experimental
SPAM-like fish product SPAMmon
was not a success

--Chuck Beard

14987.
emergency SPAM
will remain untouched, it will
be there when needed

--Chuck Beard

14988.
Dawn's rose red fingers
warm Odysseus. Fresh SPAM
roasted to a turn.

--Junkyard God

14989.
Embargo lifted.
Taste the capitalist meat.
Castro overthrown!

--Junkyard God

14990.
Gore and George Dubya?
Think I'll write in vote for SPAM.
The lesser Evil

--Junkyard God

14991.
SPAM scraps thrown away.
Trash cans stay unmolested.
Mongrel licks its balls.

--Junkyard God

14992.
Scooby-Doo lunch box.
Classmates laugh at SPAM sandwich.
Tears on the playground.

--Junkyard God

14993.
Now, humans are SPAM.
You Bastards! You blew it up!
Planet of the Pigs.

--Junkyard God

14994.
Sadness reigns supreme
Here in Sacred SPAM Boneyard
We have no sound cards

--ToxicTim

14995.
Total loser sighs
No sound emanates to hear
SPAM falls, what's the use

--Two-Time Loser@Boneyard.com

14996.
No use to my life
No true meaning for the strife
Might as well do SPAM

--TwistedTim

14997.
Rose quarts in a tin
Semiprecious meaty gem
Chunky jewelry

--Brad&Karen Fifer, bkfifer@aol.com

14998.
Stroll to the SPAM aisle
past the condoms and tampons.
No one is watching.

--Junkyard God

14999.
SPAM for his birthday!
The child's happy face turns sad.
Tough luck little brat.

--Junkyard God

15000.
I dig SPAM jelly.
I grease my car, shoes, and hair.
Wild and Swingin' guy!

--Junkyard God