SPAM Haiku 1501-1600

Move backwards to Numbers 1401-1500.


1501.
Manifold cooking.
SPAM, potatoes in wine sauce.
Wild tailgate party!
--Kevin Kepley, kpk@Storz.Com

1502.
Ice cream? I think not!
A new delight awaits me.
Call it SPAMoni!

--Kevin Kepley, kpk@Storz.Com

1503.
"I'll be back!" he said.
He travels through time and space,
The SPAMinator.

--Kevin Kepley, kpk@Storz.Com

1504.
Bodies greased in pink,
They grope, and struggle, and strain.
Female SPAM wrestlers!

--Kevin Kepley, kpk@Storz.Com

1505.
Thanksgiving is near.
Let us all be thankful for...
Pigs' butts, I mean SPAM.

--Nicole Postlewait

1506.
SPAM for lunch today
Stomach pumped by dinner time
Do not eat canned meat!

--Nicole Postlewait

1507.
Bits and pieces, chunks
of meeses, compressed and wrapped
in pure cellulite.

--Anonymous

1508.
Holiday fruitcake
replaced by a mystery
Spamcake on your plate.

--Anonymous

1509.
SPAM is dangerous
We should have been warned by Ralph
The Corvair of meats

--Warren "Woo" Kimball, Wkimball@state.ma.us and John Fiorentino, Jfiorentino@state.ma.us

1510.
I open my SPAM
but the jelly is missing.
Quick! Call up Clark's Parts.

--Warren "Woo" Kimball, Wkimball@state.ma.us and John Fiorentino, Jfiorentino@state.ma.us

1511.
Carnal temptation:
Spread thine crusted tin portal...
Shaking pink pork, unnnh!

--The Happy Anarchist, happy@aloha.net

1512.
Can you forgive me?
An absence unjustified
SPAM, I have returned

--Michael Pohl, mjpohl01@homer.louisville

1513.
spam is like a dream
mystery, ever present
meaning of our lives

--Anonymous

1514.
Budweiser frogs jump--
Not! SPAM floating on airwaves
makes no sound in pond.

--Paul W. Lewis, pp001342@interramp.com

1515.
No stranger to fowl.
Plop snouts and ears onto plate--
The other white meat?

--Andy Gryc, songbird@teleport.com

1516.
Feeling very sick...
Gush puke into the toilet
Looks, smells, tastes like SPAM!

--Andy Gryc, songbird@teleport.com

1517.
Someone fed me SPAM
I'm a vegetarian
Pork diarrhea

--Andy Gryc, songbird@teleport.com

1518.
born of global war
was the deadly atom bomb
and SPAM--oh, horror

--ifiq210@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu

1519.
Fat, goo, and nitrates
A pork product comfort food
Clogged arteries, bliss

--Anonymous

1520.
The tucked tin too tight
Wobbly waif of porcine pink
Pearly tine waster

--Al Burns, coppeea1@europa.com

1521.
Drunk crippled Ewok,
Dead on sidewalk, piss-drenched fur,
SPAM just out of reach

--Charles Campos, chaz@mailserv.edcc.edu

1522.
Oh beautiful SPAM
If I eat it every day
Will I porcify?

--Anonymous

1523.
can love please me as
a pound of chocolate? or
sweetly smell of spam

--s. hodges

1524.
A SPAM meal for two
Cheek to cheek so fortunate
Swine may swill, eschew

--Pete Manos

1525.
As the sages spake:
best to watch SPAM being made
than legislation.

--John St. Croix, JSTCROIX@HR.HOUSE.GOV

1526.
Girlfriend's twat too wide--
Insert molded slab of SPAM.
Now she's virginal.

--Wiggy, dwigand@runet.edu

1527.
SPAM, a lust object
Taking the fruit of my loins
White goo dribbles down

--Wiggy, dwigand@runet.edu

1528.
SPAM, the food of life!
It is just like ham except
It tastes like real shite!

--Muffin the Mule

1529.
SPAM is real squishy
I drop it from a large height
And watch it in flight

--Muffin the Mule

1530.
When it hits the ground
It makes a real squishy sound
I scream with delight!

--Muffin the Mule

1531.
Arachnid perspires
Freely, composing "Some Pig."
Wilbur's a spared ham.

--Wendy Schramm, wschramm@mcc.miracosta.cc.ca.us

1532.
I'm a pacifist,
But I long for a chance to
Cram SPAM down Newt's throat.

--Anonymous

1533.
SPAM art is enriched
By freedom of expression,
But, Jesus, Wiggy!!

--Anonymous

1534.
Red-head endorsement:
"VitaSPAMavegamin...
It's so tasty, too!"

--D. & K. @ H.G.O.

1535.
i love the pink meat
how it's on my hard penis
when i masturbate

--heightj@coral.indstate.edu

1536.
Sizzlean. Disco
era upscale cousin failed
immortality.

--Anonymous

1537.
O pink mystery
It's tough as a rubber ball
"Tennis, anyone?"

--Rob Dominguez, domingur@iscclink.is.qms.com

1538.
I lather a thou-
sand girls cooking eggs crushing
my spam dreams to sleep

--ted seven hogs

1539.
pregnant afterbirth
pungent glist'ning pool of life
we are born in spam

--ted seven hogs

1540.
SPAM dreams in the snow
ABBA plays on the CD
Naked I lie down

--Anonymous

1541.
SPAM in time saves nine.
A watch'ed SPAM never boils.
Eat SPAM, Forrest Gump!

--Anonymous

1542.
New SPAM Lite dinner:
low calorie action food!
Heart failure soon now.

--Rob Dominguez, domingur@iscclink.is.qms.com

1543.
Smalltalk haiku made
Discover SPAM on the Net
Greasy food and objects linked

--Mike McGaff, mcgaffm@hctg.saic.com

1544.
Must stay home, flu bug
Daytime tube sucks big pink one
Writes haiku instead

--GayLee Kilpatrick, tmpsfgit@wln.com

1545.
Ambitious haiku!
One for each category
Archive immortal!

--GayLee Kilpatrick, tmpsfgit@wln.com

1546.
Life is not per Gump.
SPAM analogy expounds:
Mystery and flesh.

--Mike McGaff, mcgaffm@hctg.saic.com

1547.
Israeli soldier.
Ration not called SPAM, but "loof."
Porkless. Try the beans.

--Mike McGaff, mcgaffm@hctg.saic.com

1548.
Consider these two,
SPAM and tofu: both cubes, both
A misery meal.

--GayLee Kilpatrick, tmpsfgit@wln.com

1549.
Anguished kids cry out
Another slice hits their plates
Send Pork Away, Mom!

--GayLee Kilpatrick, tmpsfgit@wln.com

1550.
Get thee behind me,
Demon SPAM. A big surprise!
It's already there.

--GayLee Kilpatrick, tmpsfgit@wln.com

1551.
What should Santa bring?
She asked after a SPAM meal.
Alka Seltzer, please.

--GayLee Kilpatrick, tmpsfgit@wln.com

1552.
Ate some SPAM today
Shitting SPAM in my panty
Ooooh...I feel nasty!

--Anonymous

1553.
Two dogs stuck fucking
Hormel brings some Vaseline
Pink cube on a stick

--Anonymous

1554.
Raw flesh in a can
Pigs, dogs, and a human hand
Can of Hormel SPAM

--Anonymous

1555.
If Meatloaf were SPAM
would Frankenfurter say "No!
Not meatloaf again!"?

--Anonymous

1556.
see the noble spam
in gelationous fluid
it kind of wobbles

--MorteDante@aol.com

1557.
Newt, meditating.
"Welfare solved! Let poor eat SPAM!"
Hormel stock doubles.

--John Eidson, eidson@ll.mit.edu

1558.
Spam maps my mind, my
mind spams my map, I think I
hurl, therefore I spam.

--Anonymous

1559.
Red sky in morning,
Sailors take warning. SPAM stew!
Sailors massacred!

--Mike McGaff

1560.
Cram ham in a jam
Wham bam cam slam thank you ma'am
American SPAM

--Anonymous

1561.
Leg of mega ma'am
All ripply and made of SPAM
Substitute for ham

--Anonymous

1562.
Turkey SPAM sits still
Waiting for pilgrim to kill
Had none but had fill

--Anonymous

1563.
SPAM is as SPAM does
It sits in contemplation
Its mind is unknown

--Anonymous

1564.
Just five syllables--
And seven in the middle--
And all about SPAM.

--Anonymous

1565.
SPAM I never ate
Roadside debris I won't eat
They're one and the same

--Mike, Chris, Ian, and Kris

1566.
slow goo-ey release
sucking noise, sliding, dropping
gelatinous plop

--Anonymous

1567.
Apollo 13:
Pink weightlessness; SPAM in space.
What else could go wrong?

--Doug Staples, AnnikaDZ@aol.com

1568.
What do we enjoy?
SPAM haiku with odd content.
Don't eat it, write it!

--Mike McGaff

1569.
The blue can of SPAM
Which is the center of life
Is ready to eat.

--Scott Takemoto and Ken Rose

1570.
SPAM is an offah
To lose your appetite, but
Find Jimmy Hoffa.

--Peter Yannone

1571.
My SPAM can beckons;
I bought it on Turkey Day.
Leftovers look good.

--Alec Proudfoot, alec@netcom.com

1572.
We go together
Like SPAM-A-LAMA-DING-DONG
(No SPAM without Grease!)

--John St. Croix, JSTCROIX@HR.HOUSE.GOV

1573.
Fed SPAM to my grand
parents. It killed them. Oops. Should
have read the will first.

--John St. Croix, JSTCROIX@HR.HOUSE.GOV

1574.
Turkey-shaped SPAM for
Thanksgiving dinner. None give
thanks but the turkey.

--John St. Croix, JSTCROIX@HR.HOUSE.GOV

1575.
Corncob pipe, coal eyes.
My neighbors hate him greatly--
Frosty the SPAM man!

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1576.
As in all nature,
Through the long tunnel of grease,
The SPAM seek the egg.

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1577.
up there on the rack
my transmission is renewed
ninety-weight SPAM lube

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1578.
in emergency
mechanic packs wheel bearings
with a can of SPAM

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1579.
Indiana Jones
Places a bag full of rocks
In exchange for SPAM.

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1580.
In SPAMerica,
That great melting pot of meats,
Hormel makes our SPAM.

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1581.
Beneath the city
Madness screams for a cask of
SPAMontillado!

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1582.
Where is it? SPAM maps.
Tell us how to get there, and
Is a palindrome!

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1583.
on Texas prairie
an ancient creature survives
a SPAMadillo!

--kevin kepley (the mathineer/poet), kpk@Storz.Com

1584.
Blue-hair eating SPAM.
Retired; limited income.
Alpo costs too much.

--Mike McGaff

1585.
Blue rounded corners;
Aluminum protection.
A slogan: "Safe Meat."

--Mike McGaff

1586.
Jay Hormel: Madman.
"I'll conquer the world with pork!"
Bow low to him now!

--Mike McGaff

1587.
All eyes cast downward.
Jay astride SPAM chariot.
Porkus Maximus.

--Mike McGaff

1588.
HAM-Fighters rebel.
Flashing blue tins defeat them.
A SPAM warrior.

--Mike McGaff

1589.
Now, the SPAMic peace.
Tasty treats for multitudes.
SPAM infinitum!

--Mike McGaff

1590.
Huns and Visigoths,
Wielding sharp can openers,
Spill the gel of SPAM.

--Mike McGaff

1591.
Little eyes grow wide
Father carves the Christmas SPAM
Joyful Yuletide feast!

--Ron Barrett, Houston, TX

1592.
Bring us jellied SPAM
Instead of figgy pudding
And bring it right now.

--Ron Barrett, Houston, TX

1593.
Jolly old St. Nick
Shakes like bowl o' SPAM jelly
Christmas by Hormel

--Ron Barrett, Houston, TX

1594.
Some walnuts, a pear,
Single serving can of SPAM.
Lousy stocking gifts.

--Ron Barrett, Houston, TX

1595.
Not Italian
Uniquely American:
SPAM chunks on pizza.

--Anonymous

1596.
Salsa, chips, and SPAM
Is not a Mexican meal;
It's only a snack.

--Anonymous

1597.
Piggy Rush Limbaugh
Watch that porker every night
Tune in to C-SPAM

--Douglas Staples, AnnikaDZ@aol.com

1598.
Great statue of SPAM
Came to life leaving the can
To poop on pigeons.

--Douglas Staples, AnnikaDZ@aol.com

1599.
Hot pink puréed pork
Hunka hunka burning SPAM
Set my soul on fire.

--Douglas Staples, AnnikaDZ@aol.com

1600.
Daredevil young SPAM
Cannoned across the canyon
Pink painted desert

--Douglas Staples, AnnikaDZ@aol.com


Move forwards to Numbers 1601-1700.
Return to the SPAM Haiku Archive page.
John Nagamichi Cho


SPAM is a registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation for luncheon meat. The Haiku Archive Master and the contributors to this website have no legal, commercial or financial involvement with Hormel Foods. Neither the information presented here, nor the manner in which it has been presented, has been sanctioned by Hormel Foods.